Small bedroom, bad mum?

[tashakg89]

So I've got a (small)three bed house and ever since I moved in there five years ago I've had horrendous anxiety over the little bedroom, it is 5'11 by 6'9, the second bedroom is fairly small too (9'10 by 7'9) although I'm ok with that size and is plenty big enough for my six year old. My four year old is in the tiny box room and I feel constant guilt and daily anxiety about it. I can't afford to move and won't be doing so for another 4-5 years but I just want to enjoy my house and I can't as I feel like everyone's laughing at me and thinking I'm a bad mum for putting him in a such small bedroom.
I'm constantly on Rightmove too comparing it to other box bedrooms and it really is the smallest one I've ever seen.

What do other people think? Does anyone else have children in tiny bedrooms?

Virtually every house has a box room and many of them having children sleeping in them. If you genuinely think people are laughing at you about this very common situation, then you need to seek help for your anxiety.

My 8yr old is in a room around that size. We bought her an amazing bed which she loves, a high sleeper with desk, wardrobe, shelves etc under it. You can crawl under the desk and hide under the bed. She loves it! We moved to this house recently knowing one of the kids would be in a tiny room. We couldn’t afford anything else. We all love our house! You make do with what you got, make the best of it. Don’t over think it. A bedroom is such a tiny part of childhood.

Thank you for the reply's they do put it into perspective for me. I know realistically I'm being stupid and I'm so lucky compared to some but I can't help constantly thinking and worrying about it. If it was the size of a normal box room I'd be fine but it's literary the tiniest I've ever seen and I'm constantly on rightmove looking trying to find a bedroom that size to validate in my head it's ok but there is none.
When I first bought the house I had a few comments saying I'd only be able to stay there a few years as the bedrooms are too small and it's planted a seed that's just got bigger and bigger in my head and made me feel so much guilt.
thank you for the reply's though they do make me feel a lot better.

If this is the biggest thing you have to feel guilty about then you must be a Saint 😇. Feeling guilty is par for the course for parents but you have to be a bit sensible about it. A small room is really not a problem. Make it as nice as you can then don’t worry about it.

Surely all your neighbours have the same size house. And probably have kids of similar ages so why would they be laughing? Until recently my 17 year old dd was in a room 6’ 11” x 7’9” as was every 2nd child in the road.

My kids are both in tiny bedrooms. They have started to realise as they go to friends houses who have bigger rooms. But We live a few houses down from a local popular park and their friends are all jealous of that!

My 18 year old has the teeniest bedroom ever, but at least it's hers, whereas her sisters have to share.
Please let go of your guilt - it's not healthy

I had a friend who slept in the down the stair cupboard when young because she had 3 sister in a 3 bedroom house and the oldest was given her own room . She survived and I actually used to love stiitng in her little cupboard, I though it was so cosy.

My two boys shared a small box room until they left home. That said, I do understand your anxiety. All of my children’s friends had foreign holidays, cars to be ferried around in, the latest trainers and sports wear.

What we had though was a happy home and children who were always grateful for the things we were able to buy them. They were good with money and not greedy.

As adults they are quite frugal, living without debt or excessive luxuries of life. My GCs do have a lot more than their parents had, but are still taught to value things. When my eldest GS complained about the size of his room, my DD was quick to point out that her brothers shared a much smaller room.

Please don’t beat yourself up about not being able to provide the material things in life. Love, respect and a safe, loving home is what they need. If you are providing that, then you are an excellent mum.

My ds has been in the box room of our terraced house since he was 3, he’s 17 next month & is now 6ft. He has never complained once. He used to have a single bed as that was all that would fit but about 2 years ago I had the idea to move the fitted wardrobe to another wall & my dad was able to build in a small double bed for him as I felt he was just too cramped in the single. Other than that, he has clever storage solutions to fit his tv & PlayStation.

I’m an only girl with 4 brothers so always had the box room. Never even dawned on me to complain.

I agree that it might be helpful to see someone about your anxiety as it’s clearly impacting on your daily life and enjoyment.

Can you have the kids in bunkbeds and use the box room for their toys and stuff not everybody is able to move house it isn't a huge deal.

My 12 year old is in a tiny box room. Just big enough for a bed (high sleeper with storage) and a thin book shelf. Thankfully she also has a build in cupboard. Tiny room but she likes it which is what matters. We have no plans to move soon.

Most semi’s have a ‘box room’ and unless you only have one child, someone will get the box room. It’s usually either the one who is a different sex or the youngest, whichever applies.

You’re worrying about nothing. My three DC all shared one room, even as teenagers, but it was a decent size. Why don’t yours share the bigger room instead? It’s lots better for children that age in general.

I’m buying a house with a smaller 3rd bedroom. What can you do? If Nothing, done worry about it

I know how you feel OP, but you have zero to feel guilty about. The important thing is your children are being bought up in a loving and secure home, whatever it's size. My parents love taking swipes at me because I live in a 2 bed flat with my daughter, and what a "shame" this is. I'm proud that my home is a safe place, and my daughter is growing up as part of a loving and emotionally secure family. Something my parents couldn't manage in a large 3 bed semi!

I have 2 in a very small room (bunk beds). I can't afford to rent somewhere bigger . They are perfectly happy.

Our nursery/ future child’s room is smaller than that. I have no guilt.
They have a loving family ready to welcome, will be clean, Fed and loved. That’s more important than sleeping in a small room.

My son was in a similar size room until he left home in his twenties! Perfectly fine and cosy.

You’ve absolutely no need to feel guilty or that it reflects on you as a mum. You didn’t design the house, you didn’t build it, why on earth would anyone be laughing at you?

Of course it is always nice to have more space, but in some ways it is better that both DCs have a small bedroom; in some houses, one would have a tiny one and the other would have an enormous one which always seems unfair!

My parents had to get a bed built and a custom size mattress to fit in our box room for my little brother when he moved out of the cot bed..bed literally went from one wall to the other and was on top of storage boxes for good toys and clothes but he loved it and as others said he really only slept there and played downstairs so it was fine.. It did what it needed to do.. Was a safe space to sleep and go to when he needed 5 mins to chill out 🙂 don't worry about it in sure the 4 year old doesn't even notice 🙂

My 14yr old is in a box room that only fits a single bed and a small chest of drawers. She has no floor space at all and absolutely loves it. She has shelves and keeps plants on the windowsill. I did ask her once how she felt about being in there and she said she wouldn't swap it for anything.

Part of this may be because before here she was sharing a small single with her brothers (until she was 11) so it's a space of her own.

It's nice for children of that age to share, whether they're the same sex or not. Put bunk beds in the box room and turn the other room into a playroom.

But the two children in the same larger room and keep the box room as effectively a large toy storage cupboard?