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AIBU?

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Original poster

Pink highlights and husband is mad

188 replies

BBCONEANDTWO · 20/07/2019 15:49

Hi - I went to hairdressers for cut and blow dry - my hairdresser had a cancelled appointment so I got my hair highlighted with pink and blonde. (It's more pinky than blonde). I'm 54, yes I guess I'm getting older, but I DO like it. So my OH has just come in and he's going mad saying 'how old do you think you are?' etc etc. I'm really kinda hurt but also angry and I guess I should have said I was gonna do a 'radical change' (it is for me I'm soooo boring) but how could I - I didn't know hairdresser was gonna be free and I did it on the spur of the moment. Now I'm feeling like crap boo hoooooooo

OP posts:
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ParrotsForLife · 20/07/2019 15:53

I can imagine he is shocked. But it’s your hair to do with as you wish. He doesn’t have to like it but he should respect that it’s your choice.
As an aside I saw a woman this morning with naturally white hair with pink, purple and peach slices though it and it looked fab!

CaptainMyCaptain · 20/07/2019 15:55

When I eventually let my hair go grey I intend to put coloured streaks in. My husband won't like it but I told him that's tough. I'm 64.

Aquamarine1029 · 20/07/2019 15:55

You have the right to do whatever you like with your hair, and your husband has the right to hate it.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 20/07/2019 15:56

YANBU to do what you like with your own body! It's hardly extreme these days or permanent. He's allowed an opinion on it but not to go mad, you havent done anything wrong

MmmBlowholes · 20/07/2019 15:56

He sounds like a twat. You shouldn't have to consult him about your appearance.

VampirateQueen · 20/07/2019 15:57

It is your hair to do with what you want, but as you say it is radical change, you probably should have warned him in some way, a text to tell him, or warn him as he walked through the door.
My DH had long hair and I dropped him off at work with long hair, his boss took him to have or cut and he had had it all shaved off, I went ballistic Blush if he had at least warned me that he had had a hair cut it wouldn't have been so bad.

fuckingtwats · 20/07/2019 15:57

I wouldn't take kindly to him going mad at me for changing my own hair colour. What's it got to do with him?

poppymatilda · 20/07/2019 15:58

He's being silly. Do whatever you want with your hair. Age is just a number. I'm tired of this 'act your age crap. I plan to age disgracefully

Sicario · 20/07/2019 15:59

Excellent choice on your part! Perhaps it's time to go radical and advise him that you are now vegan and won't be handling any meat products, including his.

ravenshope · 20/07/2019 15:59

That's very rude of him. I bet you look great. It's your hair, not his.

BookBookBook · 20/07/2019 16:00

Well, you're an adult and you can do whatever you want to your hair. However, it seems slightly odd in the circumstances that you're now upset because someone else doesn't like it. Pink hair, on any age or sex, isn't going to meet with universal approval.

A friend of mine in her forties got some pink bits in her short, fair hair a couple of years ago and her husband hated it and went on about it making her look common etc etc until she had an epiphany, realised he was fast turning into his uncle (socially top-drawer Tory MP, red trousers optional) and divorced the boring old fart.

mbosnz · 20/07/2019 16:01

Your hair, your business. So, you're 54? More than old enough to decide to have a bit of fun with how you look!

Maybe he ought to jazz his look and life up a little. . .

Benes · 20/07/2019 16:01

Your hair your choice 🤷

F2Feee · 20/07/2019 16:01

Well he is unreasonable in the sense that it is your hair. However I personally think it looks very tacky and I would think you are trying to look younger. But it might also suit you as some people can pull it off. If my dh came home bald I would be mad.

SteelRiver · 20/07/2019 16:03

Ooh the colours sound fab! Please don't let your husband's reaction spoil your enjoyment. Its absolutely your choice on what to do with your hair.

BookBookBook · 20/07/2019 16:03

This is just reminding me that I once sat near a group of 30something men on an early evening train out of London they seemed as if they were possibly returning from a stag and one of them took a phone call from his wife saying that she'd been to the hairdressers and cut her long hair short, and all the other men were tutting and saying she should have consulted him in advance. There was a general sense that Long Hair=Good, Short Hair=Bad, and that husbands had some kind of ownership rights over their wives' hairstyles.

I was completely taken aback, as these seemed like perfectly decent, ordinary, middle-class men, not knuckle-draggers.

CaptainMyCaptain · 20/07/2019 16:04

One of the good things about getting older is that you don't have to care what other people think (as long as it's not hurting anybody).

mussolini9 · 20/07/2019 16:05

I guess I should have said I was gonna do a 'radical change'

No no no no no!
Your hair, your sudden bit of whimsy, your choice.
No way did you have to pre-warn your DH.

And if the colour of your hair is his biggest problem, he's living a very nice life. Can't see what his problem is - it's fine not to like your hair, it's batshit to kick off about it & act so rudely. What has your age got to do with anything?

If DH moans & hectors again, point out that he owns neither your hair, or you. I bet your hair looks great, & hope you enjoy feeing funky for as long as the colour lasts!

BeanBag7 · 20/07/2019 16:08

I'm sure youd have something to say if he went out for a haircut and came back with it dyed bright green or something. He is entitled to his opinion and he was probably taken aback and spoke before thinking.

littlepaddypaws · 20/07/2019 16:08

i wouldn't give a shit what other people think of my look and i'm abit outlandish, it's not about trying to look younger, i'm me and i'm free to wear what i want how i want, good for you op.
f2 not everyone over the age of 50 wants to wear boring colours, but every one to their own, here, have my dear old mums beige twin set and pearls Smile

StrongTea · 20/07/2019 16:12

At least he noticed!! Bet you look great.

NurseButtercup · 20/07/2019 16:16

Ignore the old curmudgeon I bet you look fabulous. Go and look in the mirror, try on different coloured lipstick's take a few selfies and twirl (just to annoy him).

I change my hair colour on a regular basis just because I feel like it, and it's your hair I don't understand why he's so upset.

His response should have been "Wow BBCONEANDTWO you look nice, that's very different. Go and get dressed and let's go to the pub so you can show off your new look".

And no he didn't need to be consulted. It's just hair and it will soon fade/grow out (if that's what you want).

llangennith · 20/07/2019 16:17

He'll get used to it.

WhenOneFacePalmDoesntCutIt · 20/07/2019 16:18

As above, you can make decisions about your own hair, he's allowed not to like the results.

The fact that he's not liking the result doesn't mean it looks bad, just not his taste.

Iamthewombat · 20/07/2019 16:20

Why not write a specification of how you expect him to look? Spare no detail. Hair, clothes, shoes etc. Then tell him that he’d better comply.