Pink highlights and husband is mad

[BBCONEANDTWO]

Hi - I went to hairdressers for cut and blow dry - my hairdresser had a cancelled appointment so I got my hair highlighted with pink and blonde. (It's more pinky than blonde). I'm 54, yes I guess I'm getting older, but I DO like it. So my OH has just come in and he's going mad saying 'how old do you think you are?' etc etc. I'm really kinda hurt but also angry and I guess I should have said I was gonna do a 'radical change' (it is for me I'm soooo boring) but how could I - I didn't know hairdresser was gonna be free and I did it on the spur of the moment. Now I'm feeling like crap boo hoooooooo

@BBCONEANDTWO

Ignore him, please.

My mum has been married for nearly 50 years to my dad. A man who critiques and passes judgement on everything that might be the slightest bit out of the ordinary. Sneering, judgemental, negative awfulness. She has become a woman who wears the plainest clothes, so plain she is almost invisible. She has had “old woman hair” since she was about 40 because he would baulk at anything that would stand out.

Recently she borrowed a coat of mine for a 15min trip out in bad weather. He joked and sneered that it looked stupid, like a clown coat because of the HAHAAAA...RIDICULOUSLY BIG BUTTONS....HAHAHAAA....LOOKS STUPID...DOESNT SUIT HER...HAHAHAHAHA!

I’ll attach a pic, hopefully this will highlight how utterly life wasting and ridiculous it is to listen to these comments and take them seriously.

@BBCONEANDTWO

Going against the grain here...

YANBU to decide what you want to do with your hair, but this fad that is going on with middle aged women dying their hair pink makes me cringe to be honest. I think it looks bloody awful.

Maybe he thinks the same. He has no right to tell you what to do, but he is entitled to an opinion. How would you feel if he came home and had dyed his hair purple?

Think about it......

I fucking hate tattoos, and hate to see them on my young female relatives, but I know that they are entitled to do what they want with their body. Doesn't stop me from hating them and thinking they look ugly though.

Most people won't say anything to your face, but I can guarantee people are judging you for having pink hair; especially at 54!

Oh my god you don’t need to tell your husband in advance if you’re dyeing your hair. It’s nothing to do with him! And now he’s being a rude, gobby git.

I don’t like pink hair at all but I would never presume to think that my husband (or anyone else) required my permission to get their hair done!

Most people won't say anything to your face, but I can guarantee people are judging you for having pink hair; especially at 54!

To be honest, you have to have lived a tedious and sheltered life if seeing a 54 year old with pink hair makes you judge and cringe.

Bad for him op

I’ve been out with some right arseholes and even they wouldn’t have gone mad this...

Your hair, your decision. You liked it and you wanted it done. I think it’s time for you to follow it up with some body piercings. Don’t tell him- let him spot one as you get ready for bed

Relative of mine had pink highlights in her short-ish blond hair at 62. Why not?

i’m 46 with pink and blue dreads. if someone doesn’t like it, id invite them to look the other way.

OP, it’s your hair and you choice. tell your OH to mind his business.

*i’d

He has a right not to like it but it would have been kinder of him to just be less than effusive in his ‘that’s nice dear’. Saying ‘ how old do you think you are’ is rude and ungracious.

Sod him - it's your hair and just because he is an old fuddy duddy you don't have to be. I am older than you and occasionally have mine with purple highlights. Age is a state of mind, and in my mind I'm 30

My DH didn’t like my hair when I went dark with some auburn. Equally I hated the beard he grew.

I’m blondish again and he shaved the beard off.

I'm 54 with lilac and blue hair that I maintain myself. It's usually various shades of purple during the winter months. My DH doesn't get to decide what I do with my hair or what clothes I should wear.
For all I know, he might dislike my choices but he'd never say as he's too polite.
Next time your DH says something nasty about you, dismissively say 'that's nice dear' and carry on doing what your doing. If you show him you don't value his opinion, hopefully, he'll stop offering it.
Your body, your choice.

To those who judge - judge away! As PP said - one of the advantages of getting older is you don't give a flying fig for what other people think.

Good for you BB on 2 counts - first for having pink highlights and second for acting on impulse. Remember those who judge - no one has died..

I currently have red highlights - last summer I had purple. I'm 58. Couldn't have them when I was 18-19 when punk green was all the rage, as was a student nurse and green hair would not have been tolerated, so I'm making up for lost time.
High 5 to you BB

user1491678180
Curious as to how old you are? What people seem to either forget or not realise is that people over 50 are the original punks, with coloured mohicans and the like. Coloured hair is not for youngsters, it is for anyone who decides they are tired of being a grey haired invisible woman.

It’s your hair to do with as you like and he has to respect that. He is, however, entitled to his opinion- even if that opinion is that he thinks it looks ridiculous. As long as he doesn’t try to force you to conform to what he wants, then you just have to put up with the fact he doesn’t like it.

I'm 60, and am considering going pillar box red (DH said he preferred a more natural colour). A few years ago I put a bright blue streak in my hair, and I loved it - was away from DH at the time, so he only ever saw it in pics - he asked me whether I was 54 or 14, though - which made me laugh. Do whatever makes you feel good - he'll get used to it!

How would you have reacted if he had walked in with the same?

Agree with the PP who said that you have the right to do what you want with your body and he has the right to hate it.

I can guarantee people are judging you for having pink hair; especially at 54!

Not me. I’m jealous. My hair’s too dark to take pink streaks easily but maybe it’s time for a trip to the hairdresser. At age 42 shock horror!

You had a radical change and he had a radical reaction.

I would presume if he had put pink highlights in his hair you would remark on that?

This reminds me of Father of the Bride when he dyes his hair (a normal colour, from grey to brown) and his wife goes mad at him and wants him to change it back.

I don't know, maybe he went a bit far, and of course you're free to do what you want with your hair, you don't need permission, but he doesn't need to love it.

I can kind of understand it.

he's going mad saying 'how old do you think you are?'

Seriously? I wouldn't have stopped telling him to fuck off long enough to type out an AIBU.

He has no right to be mad. He can prefer it another colour but 'mad' is too much.
Please also ignore the poster who said it was 'tacky'.
They are rude.

My husband grew a goatee beard and started shaving his head about 2 years ago.
I really hate it. It makes me sad actually because I don’t like even looking at him.
I have told him many times how much I dislike it but it’s his face and hair so he can do with it what he wants.

Same thing in your household.
I am glad you like it and I hope you enjoy it