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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pink highlights and husband is mad

188 replies

BBCONEANDTWO · 20/07/2019 15:49

Hi - I went to hairdressers for cut and blow dry - my hairdresser had a cancelled appointment so I got my hair highlighted with pink and blonde. (It's more pinky than blonde). I'm 54, yes I guess I'm getting older, but I DO like it. So my OH has just come in and he's going mad saying 'how old do you think you are?' etc etc. I'm really kinda hurt but also angry and I guess I should have said I was gonna do a 'radical change' (it is for me I'm soooo boring) but how could I - I didn't know hairdresser was gonna be free and I did it on the spur of the moment. Now I'm feeling like crap boo hoooooooo

OP posts:
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ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 20/07/2019 16:21

Not his hair = not his decision

Don't feel crap, I bet it looks awesome! You don't need permission. He's entitled to his opinion, but his responsibility to you as his OH is to express that tactfully and kindly, if at all.

And I'm off upstairs to dip dye mine turquoise. I don't care how old I get, I'll have whatever hair I damn well please!

Pinktinker · 20/07/2019 16:22

If my DH returned home one day with pink hair I’d be surprised to say the least and I’d hate it so yes, I’d expect him to feel the same if I did it.

If this is out of character for you then I can understand his shock.

PutyourtoponTrevor · 20/07/2019 16:23

Pic?

bbpet · 20/07/2019 16:24

show us a pic, i bet it looks lovely x

Shadow1234 · 20/07/2019 16:25

Your husband has every right to his opinion, BUT, that's all it is - his opinion. He reacted way ott, but as long as you like it, that is all that matters. He will have to get used to it and suck it up!

Dragongirl10 · 20/07/2019 16:29

your hair your choice...

Original poster
BBCONEANDTWO · 20/07/2019 16:29

I just wish he'd said it looked great - I'm trying not to let it affect me because I don't wanna look like mutton dressed as lamb and don't want to feel like it's tacky - thanks for all your encouraging words.

OP posts:
mrsmuddlepies · 20/07/2019 16:32

It's not that long ago that most old ladies with grey hair automatically had a pink, blue or purple rinse.
Think Mrs Slocombe in, 'Are you being served' or Edna Everidge

TheGrapefulDread · 20/07/2019 16:33

I am sure it looks lovely. Flowers

BookBookBook · 20/07/2019 16:33

But you can't control someone else's taste or opinion, OP. My friend's pink looked wonderful with her, in my opinion, and my son's reception teacher, who was in her late 50s had purplish pink edges to her silvery white hair, and looked magnificent -- but in my friend's case at least, her husband didn't agree.

Anniegetyourgun · 20/07/2019 16:34

There's a difference between not liking it and being very rude about it.

I don't buy the "dyeing is for the young" idea, either. When you're young your hair has natural colour so you don't need to dye it (although I will man the barricades for your right to do so). When it starts to go grey is the ideal time to try out something new, surely?

Darkcloudsandsunnydays · 20/07/2019 16:39

Who’s hair is it ?

SadOtter · 20/07/2019 16:42

my mum is 58 (and an old looking 58 - she's been ill and suddenly looks like a frail old woman) she dyes her hair bright colours and it really suits her. Not sure my dad approves, he's always hated my sister and I doing bright colours, but he would never tell my mum it looked stupid because he loves her and it's not his place to dictate her hair style, he just says things like "darling I'm not sure how to tell you this but your hairs gone green" Mum pretends she didn't know, they laugh, new hair is acknowledged without Dad criticising it and without him having to pretend he likes it.

Zebrasinpyjamas · 20/07/2019 16:43

It sounds great to me and a massive overreaction from him.

NoSauce · 20/07/2019 16:43

Ooh sounds nice. I think a bit of pink can look really good. Can we see a photo?

IrmaFayLear · 20/07/2019 16:51

I'm glad that people on this thread are being reasonable and saying that a dh (or a dw) has a right to say they don't like a new look.

There was a thread recently where a poster wanted to let her hair go grey and the dh was not in favour, and people were saying what a b'tard he was.

A while ago I had a radical short haircut. Dh looked a bit bleak but said nothing much, but when it started to grow out said he was leaving home if I ever had a "hairdo" again (not really - he's too lazy...).

We all have a pair of eyes and if one's partner is not just a housemate they do have some aesthetic preferences, presumably. It's not expecting your other half to look like a supermodel, just not have an "improvement' that you don't like, whether it be a hair colour, tattoo or horrible Scoutmaster shorts (which dh bought and I said I wouldn't be seen dead with him in...).

JudgeRindersMinder · 20/07/2019 16:52

Tell him if he’s as jealous as he sounds, he can get some too

Runmybathforme · 20/07/2019 16:55

Tell him to bugger off. I’m 64 and had pink highlights last year. Looked great, partner thought so too. Bloody hell, does he want you to pop on a nice cardy and sensible shoes ?

cakeandchampagne · 20/07/2019 17:00

His reaction was rude & immature.
(But you are old enough to know that’s his problem.)
Enjoy your new, fun hair! I bet it looks great!

SemperIdem · 20/07/2019 17:04

My exh’s partner is late 40’s and has pinky blonde hair. It suits her, she’s quite alternative and arty in her personal style generally speaking.

speakout · 20/07/2019 17:04

Your hair OP, and his choice not to like it.
He is wrong to say harsh words though.If I did this OH would be sniggering a bit though.

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince · 20/07/2019 17:08

‘Tacky and trying to look young’ 😂😂

Who even gives a shit? My mate who is 63 had pink and blue hair and looks amazing.
She is cool as f.....
When I’ve grown my dye out, I’m going to dye mine lilac. Do not give a toss whether l look ‘tacky’

Keep your pink streaks. I bet they look fantastic.👩🏼‍🎤

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 20/07/2019 17:10

I bet it looks fab OP.

girlwithadragontattoo · 20/07/2019 17:13

My mum is 60 and has bright pink hair