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Original poster

To be shocked that a mother would clean for a 21 year old student?

362 replies

jennymanara · 19/07/2019 00:15

A colleague at work was moaning on Monday that they were tired as they had driven many miles to their son's shared house, and spent hours thoroughly cleaning it, so he would get his deposit back. I was shocked. Surely a 21 year old man should be doing his own cleaning?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 19/07/2019 00:17

Did she help or just do it for him?

When I was a student, my parents helped me move out and do the end of tenancy clean. It’s a big job.

Original poster
jennymanara · 19/07/2019 00:22

She talked as if she did it.
But @purpledaisies why not just clean your house properly yourself? Its only a big job if you let it become one. And if it is a big job, well you are an adult, get on with it.

OP posts:
mossmurray · 19/07/2019 00:23

If the deposit was mine I'd probably do it too in order to get it back, many of my friends have had to do this

KeepHimJolene · 19/07/2019 00:24

I'm not shocked I would do the same for my children and help. Clearly, you don't have dc of that age to realise they don't miraculously become adults just because they are Uni students!

PurpleDaisies · 19/07/2019 00:24

An end of tendency clean is different to a weekly clean. It’s hard to clean properly while furniture, boxes, food is in the fridge etc...

mossmurray · 19/07/2019 00:24

Sorry posted to soon, of the deposit was going back to her DS it would be up to him to do it

PurpleDaisies · 19/07/2019 00:25

I went and helped my mum clean when she was moving out. That’s just what families do-they help each other out.

Boom45 · 19/07/2019 00:26

At 21 I could clean my own house. But also at 21 my mum might've come and done it again because my 21 year old "cleaning" was not necessarily "getting deposit back" cleaning. Specially when I was living with a bunch of other 21 year olds.

Original poster
jennymanara · 19/07/2019 00:26

@keephimjolene If a 21 year old can not act as an adult, then something is very wrong.

OP posts:
Original poster
jennymanara · 19/07/2019 00:27

@purpledaisies Sure if you live round the corner. But would you really drive hours to help your mum clean her house at the end of a tenancy if she was fit and healthy?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 19/07/2019 00:28

Yes I would jenny. I lived hours away. I drive to help with moving.

taylorowmu · 19/07/2019 00:29

I'm shocked that anyone would not understand the concept of helping people out.

IsobelRae23 · 19/07/2019 00:29

An end of tenancy clean, is not the same as cleaning. I would help my dc too, if they’d house shared and not commuted.

Original poster
jennymanara · 19/07/2019 00:34

@purpledaisies I would drive a long way to help people move and have done so. But that is different from cleaning. She went just to clean.

OP posts:
Schuyler · 19/07/2019 00:36

I drove 150 miles to help my sister with an end of tenancy clean. It was a huge job and her housemates were lazy. I did it to help out and because I love her. She could’ve totally managed herself but it’s nice to be nice. I’d do the same if/when my DC go to university.

greenlynx · 19/07/2019 00:40

Well we don’t know if he needed their help or asked for this. My mum loves doing this. She does something in my sister’s house without being asked and then says to everyone that her children can’t cope with housework without her. DSis literally lost her voice over years arguing about this. She is over 50.

On the other hand, if it’s a big house and he was the main tenant he might needed their help and advice. And nothing wrong to help in this situation. We went to help our friends when they were moving out and they’re over 40s. The more the merrier.

GinIAm · 19/07/2019 00:50

I am a cleaner and visit my son once or twice a semester

I get there early, clean the house, shower and get taken down the Uni bar and handed pints :)

It is lovely to get to know his housemates, they are all very grateful and respectful - they clean the worst of it before I get there and I get to see my son

I also fill the freezer for all of them and they buy me chicken and chips on the way home

He is in his final year now and I will miss my visits :)

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 19/07/2019 00:50

My mum did this. We all worked on it together and it was combined with picking me up but a lot further than 150 miles. I have helped her with loads of things before and after. I don't think it's weird to want to help people you love.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 19/07/2019 00:53

And no an end of tenancy clean is not like just keeping on top of stuff. The LLs were looking for any excuse not to give us the deposit back. Not us specifically but all their tenants. We were not a nightmare or anything!

KeepHimJolene · 19/07/2019 00:54

@jennymanara I didn't word that well apologies. But as someone else said a 21yr olds clean may not be an end of tenancy clean standard. It is called helping out your dc and is what I personally would do

MaMisled · 19/07/2019 00:54

I did this for my very capable DD. She was tired, stressed and overwhelmed. Why wouldn't parents help? Five sets came together to do it. Virtual strangers at 6am, friends by 12pm

Original poster
jennymanara · 19/07/2019 00:55

Of course there is nothing wrong with helping people you love. But I am obviously alone in thinking a 21 year old man should be perfectly capable of doing an end of tenancy clean without having his mother travelling miles to spend hours cleaning.
Moving is different because if you have heavy things, you cannot do that on your own, you need help.

OP posts:
Elvesdontdomagic · 19/07/2019 00:58

I think you are alone in that OP! I would also help my 21yo with an end of tenancy clean. I'd help any family member in whatever way I could. There's a difference between 'should' and 'want to', you seem really shocked that anyone would want to which is weird?

babygrootandstarlord · 19/07/2019 01:01

I've helped several friends/family clean for end of tenancy, and friends/family have helped me with the same thing in the past.

Original poster
jennymanara · 19/07/2019 01:02

Christ I feel old. When I was young, which was admittedly a long time ago, I lived in plenty of house shared with shitty landlords. We didn't even have protected deposits. I have done the incredibly thorough clean stuff. And no one I knew back then had a parent coming to clean for them.

OP posts: