To feel like cancelling my big wedding

[flamed12]

Honestly I can’t handle the stress of planning never mind the stress of being the centre of attention. I can’t do it. Every time I think about planning something I can’t sleep for days with stress. I do not want a big wedding.

It’s 10 months away.

I would cancel and have a registry office then dinner. Suggested it months ago to family who hated the idea and I felt like I couldn’t do it. So just went along. Honestly I’m over it now and I am lying awake worrying about it and i know I don’t want it.

We would loose about £3,000.

Thoughts?

Rather than focusing on what you don’t want, think about what you do want. Then make a few plans so you can sell it to DP as a better alternative.

Do you want to elope to Gretna Green, just the 2 of you. Or maybe take the kids and get married on a beach somewhere?

If you want a small wedding with close family, have a look at the minimum number of people you could get away with. You mentioned that for DH this would be around 30. So maybe not as small as you’d prefer but much more manageable than 80+.

Have a look for a new venue that will take smaller numbers or a restaurant with a function room if you prefer the registry option. Ditch all the faffy accessories like favours & chair covers, just keep it simple.

I would also move it forward to the Autumn if possible. Less time to stress. Pretend you’re planning a party or something to make sure your key guests are free.

And so you don’t need to decide - your colour scheme is cream & blue!

I would write out a very detailed list of everything that has to be done for the wedding, including what's been sorted already, and guestimates of costs where you don't know. Then hand the list to your fiance and brightly tell him "here darling, this was my list and you can see what's been done already, so I'm leaving the rest up to you like you said". If you can face it, have timelines on it for when things need to be done by, and the amount of effort each task will take.

Hopefully he will take one look at the list & back off!

I used to do this for IT projects in a former life, when senior management would come up with a "great idea". As soon as they saw the effort THEY would have to put in, as well as the total budget costs, suddenly this absolute necessity wouldn't be needed at all.