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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be over the moon my DP has finally took his balls out of Mummy's handbag and told her where to go

411 replies

FirstTimeMummyDS88 · 11/07/2019 09:18

from Hell, like she's actually a Demon http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amibeing_unreasonable/3610296-mil-from-hell-like-she-s-actually-a-demon

Link to previous thread above

So as a few of you may remember reading my previous posts my MiL is bat shit crazy. The lest few weeks my DP has been more supportive but was still getting a lift to work everyday from her (they work in same place and she says there's no point them both driving).

It was DS 1st birthday 2 weeks ago and we decided to have a few friends and family around for cake and a few party games, decided against a big party as he's 1 and will never remember it and we planned a few days out over his birthday week.

Party started at 2pm, DS was sat on floor with a few other children playing pass the parcel (with help from my brother who is 14) when PIL arrived at 3.15, MIL swanned in like a Disney Villain and picked up DS mid game from my brothers knee without so much of a word to anyone. I asked her if she could give DS back to my brother so he could finish game as DS was trying to get down. She loudly announced that she wanted to give him his presents. DP stepped in and said "well it won't hurt to wait 5 minutes, let's let him finish playing first, we can do the cake and then presents"

She handed DS over to DP who gave him straight to my brother. She muttered something about how I always have a problem with everything she does and called me a cow, my brother took exception to this and said "don't talk about my sister like that, especially in her house and at a kids party, act your age"

MIL demanded to have a word in kitchen with DP and myself where she proceeded to tell us that she had wanted private time with her Grandson on his birthday and was furious at being spoken to like that by my disrespectful little shit brother. Now I have probably called my brother far worse over the years but I am not having anyone speak about him like that and especially as I don't think he said anything wrong so I told her if she couldn't be civil then to leave as I wasn't having a scene and if I hear another word about my brother I'll throw her arse out myself

Anyway a bit later we go to do the cake and as I'm walking in with the cake and we are all singing happy birthday she tries to take DS from DP who shrugged her off and helped DS blow out candles. She loudly asked what the problem was and my DP tried to shush her. She suddenly shouted at the top of her voice "your trying to keep me away from my baby" Well it was like a switch was finally set off in DP's brain and he told her to shut up and he would speak to her after party. Guests all left probably feeling quite awkward. DP then went off like a bomb telling her that she was disgusting to ruin his party and that DS is not her baby he is our baby and from now on she needs to back the fuck off or she won't be seeing either of them again. She tried to argue back but he wouldn't have it (was actually quite a turn on haha) since then he hasn't seen her, she has phoned once to see how him and baby are and he has just said "we are all fine, we will see you soon I'll ring you" and he has started driving himself to and from work. SIL sent a message kicking off about the way he spoke to their mum and his reply was "you can go and fuck off aswell"

I actually know I'm not being unreasonable I just wanted to brag about my DP finding his spine and finally slaying the monster Smile

OP posts:
Motoko · 01/08/2019 13:47

When you said you fainted, I thought "Is she pregnant?"! (I fainted too.) Congratulations!

I'm so glad he's finally blocked them all, and is going NC with her. I hope you have a calm, uneventful pregnancy, although it's a shame about the Slutfest!

AtillatheHun · 01/08/2019 13:49

ah that's great all round! congrats to you and strongly-spined husband. though obv I'm disappointed you're not a true chav and won't be going wild with the girls anyway ;-)

ohfourfoxache · 01/08/2019 13:52

Oh wow, huge congratulations! I’m so pleased for you!

Good call re getting a note put on your file. If there is ANY interference from MIL with regards to appointments etc then you need to put in a complaint. Just be careful in case she looks at your records and discovers you have another dc on the way......

Rainycloudyday · 01/08/2019 13:57

Congrats OP! I strongly expect MiL will access your records during your pregnancy so keep a close eye and for goodness sake report her this time if anything happens!!

PepsiLola · 01/08/2019 16:14

Wow congratulations! I'm made up more so that your DH has finally done the action he should have taken last time.

Enjoy your pregnancy lovely, this time will be a breeze in comparison

popehilarious · 01/08/2019 16:46

Congrats secondtimemummy!

Deedee248 · 01/08/2019 18:14

Congratulations. That’s wonderful news!

redexpat · 01/08/2019 18:48

Oh thats a lovely update - congratulations!

Fancyseeingyouhere · 01/08/2019 20:57

Congratulations! maybe it's twins?

prettybird · 01/08/2019 21:09

Lovely news. And glad your dh has got your back and that you've transferred your care to another hospital (though it's shocking that you had to do that Sad) and that you've hot your file annotated so that she doesn't inveigle access (again, shocking that you had to do so Shock).

Good luck with your pregnancy and all the best with your ds' next hospital appointments (in the hope he gets discharged soon Smile).

Socksontheradiator · 02/08/2019 09:00

Many congratulations!

FirstTimeMummyDS88 · 02/08/2019 11:09

We've been engaged now for years and things just seem to keep getting in the way of us actually getting hitched, we found the house of our dreams and it was over budget so we pushed back the wedding and dipped into the wedding fund to make up the house money. Then I found out I was pregnant with DS and now I'm pregnant again. DP said last night that he would really like to be married before baby number 2 arrives and it would be lovely to finally share a surname with my babies. He said he doesn't have to be a big affair (I never wanted a big wedding, was only doing it to please his mum and now I don't give a flying you know what about that).

We were going to visit some family in Scotland in October so DP has suggested a day out to Gretna Green haha

OP posts:
Motoko · 02/08/2019 11:46

I read somewhere (maybe on here) that the rules at Gretna have changed, so it might be an idea to check that, if you did decide to get married there.

If you're not bothered about having a "wedding", and just want to get married, I think it would be good to just pop down to the registry office and book it for next month. The sooner the better, before something else comes up to delay it.

FirstTimeMummyDS88 · 02/08/2019 11:51

@Motoko

I've checked Gretna and they don't have the dates we're in Scotland anyway

I've rang our local registry office and they have given me a list of available dates and prices, gonna speak to DP when he gets home

OP posts:
Motoko · 02/08/2019 11:53

Good luck!

Fragalino · 02/08/2019 12:05

Op I hope he hasn't told his mum about the new pregnancy? Congratulations

Fragalino · 02/08/2019 12:07

Small weddings are so much more personal and lovely.
It will be a fabulous show of strength to get married and without her.

prettybird · 02/08/2019 12:11

If you do decide to change your name - and don't get round to telling tell your MIL that you've got married - then she could have a fruitless chase around the local hospitals trying to locate you and your records Wink

Shaaaaame Grin

DoesItGetAnyBetter · 02/08/2019 12:27

Oh my word. I have just read both threads and am gobsmacked. Your IL have treated you all appallingly and deserve no more of your precious time. I wish you and your family a very happy future.
Congratulations x

NaviSprite · 02/08/2019 13:25

Just checked for updates to see how you were getting on and wow! Congratulations and it’s good to read that DH has genuinely had the veil lifted when it comes to your Demon or a MIL.

I wish you all the best and congratulations again 😁😁

NaviSprite · 02/08/2019 13:26

Demon OF a MIL - bloody autocorrect....

PepsiLola · 02/08/2019 13:31

Bloody hell! What positives in one week, a pregnancy and now a wedding.

In your face MIL!

MrsGrannyWeatherwax · 02/08/2019 14:30

Oh my goodness good luck! (Lurking for a while)

DorisDances · 02/08/2019 14:30

Been a great thread OP- huge congratulations!

FirstTimeMummyDS88 · 02/08/2019 14:45

There were so many times I thought about leaving DP, I never wanted to, I adore him and he's a brilliant Daddy to our little boy. I just could never see the end of the situation.

I'm not happy it's ended this way, I never wanted my her out of our lives completely I just wanted her to respect the fact that they are my family and back off a bit

But I'm finally feeling positive, we have so much to look forward to and I can finally start to enjoy my family and be the mum my babies deserve without worrying all the time

Happy Mummy Happy Babies 😊

OP posts:
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