To be over the moon my DP has finally took his balls out of Mummy's handbag and told her where to go

[FirstTimeMummyDS88]

from Hell, like she's actually a Demon http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amibeing_unreasonable/3610296-mil-from-hell-like-she-s-actually-a-demon

Link to previous thread above

So as a few of you may remember reading my previous posts my MiL is bat shit crazy. The lest few weeks my DP has been more supportive but was still getting a lift to work everyday from her (they work in same place and she says there's no point them both driving).

It was DS 1st birthday 2 weeks ago and we decided to have a few friends and family around for cake and a few party games, decided against a big party as he's 1 and will never remember it and we planned a few days out over his birthday week.

Party started at 2pm, DS was sat on floor with a few other children playing pass the parcel (with help from my brother who is 14) when PIL arrived at 3.15, MIL swanned in like a Disney Villain and picked up DS mid game from my brothers knee without so much of a word to anyone. I asked her if she could give DS back to my brother so he could finish game as DS was trying to get down. She loudly announced that she wanted to give him his presents. DP stepped in and said "well it won't hurt to wait 5 minutes, let's let him finish playing first, we can do the cake and then presents"

She handed DS over to DP who gave him straight to my brother. She muttered something about how I always have a problem with everything she does and called me a cow, my brother took exception to this and said "don't talk about my sister like that, especially in her house and at a kids party, act your age"

MIL demanded to have a word in kitchen with DP and myself where she proceeded to tell us that she had wanted private time with her Grandson on his birthday and was furious at being spoken to like that by my disrespectful little shit brother. Now I have probably called my brother far worse over the years but I am not having anyone speak about him like that and especially as I don't think he said anything wrong so I told her if she couldn't be civil then to leave as I wasn't having a scene and if I hear another word about my brother I'll throw her arse out myself

Anyway a bit later we go to do the cake and as I'm walking in with the cake and we are all singing happy birthday she tries to take DS from DP who shrugged her off and helped DS blow out candles. She loudly asked what the problem was and my DP tried to shush her. She suddenly shouted at the top of her voice "your trying to keep me away from my baby" Well it was like a switch was finally set off in DP's brain and he told her to shut up and he would speak to her after party. Guests all left probably feeling quite awkward. DP then went off like a bomb telling her that she was disgusting to ruin his party and that DS is not her baby he is our baby and from now on she needs to back the fuck off or she won't be seeing either of them again. She tried to argue back but he wouldn't have it (was actually quite a turn on haha) since then he hasn't seen her, she has phoned once to see how him and baby are and he has just said "we are all fine, we will see you soon I'll ring you" and he has started driving himself to and from work. SIL sent a message kicking off about the way he spoke to their mum and his reply was "you can go and fuck off aswell"

I actually know I'm not being unreasonable I just wanted to brag about my DP finding his spine and finally slaying the monster

She just can't help being a spiteful intrusive cow can she?

Agree with pp on telling dp.

Definitely talk about moving. You need breathing room.

So sorry to hear it's still going on. Though I can't say I'm surprised. She's not going to give up. Even if it destroys every relationship she has she's hell bent.

I agree. Speak to dp when he gets back.

Surely he can see the stress this has put you under? I think the job sounds good right now. You need a safe space around you. And the distance will help

There isn't ever going to be a resolution to this I think I've finally realised, I'm going to Spain for 3 days for my friends birthday and apparently I'm a selfish slut who will be like "girls gone wild" and sleeping around. Seriously I'm just looking forward to not getting up at half 6, my idea of wild these days is putting a film on after 9pm 😂😂

I remember my DM telling me that there was a point in every relationship where the man had to tell his mother to fuck off or the relationship wouldn't survive

How very sad. One of the qualities that endeared me to DH is how much he loves and cares for his DM.

Op, this is awful.
She won't ever say nice things about you though.
So accept that for a start!

Definitely talk to your partner about moving for the new job but I'd be reluctant to issue an ultimatum when he's clearly on your side.
Your MIL sounds absolutely nuts

Just wanted to quickly say that I'm #TeamFirstTimeMummy all the way!!

Moving sounds like absolutely the best option. You have to get away from her toxic nastiness

Your MIL will say the nastiest, cruellest, most outrageous thing that pops into her poor excuse for a mind, about you.

This says nothing about you, nothing at all. The only person it reflects on, and makes look bad is your MIL.

As hard as it is, try and ignore MIL, who is throwing a tanty and tossing her toys because she's effectively lost the battle, and she knows it. Focus on your fabulous husband and gorgeous child, and living and loving your life together.

#teamfirsttimemummy here too.

Mothers with a sensible and appropriate relationship with their sons do not need to be told to fuck off, but some definitely do!

She hates you op- that means she will try and criticise anything you do. It's horrible but you are going to have to accept that.

You don't have to justify your trip to anyone - you are doing nothing wrong at all. Just rise above it, be a nice person and people will see that her comments are nothing but spiteful.

Don't let her get under your skin on this. Keep on doing what you are doing and discuss the other job with your DH and do what is right for you and your family.

If flying monkeys come along be clear that you don't want to hear about your MIL from them. Cut any conversation about her dead.

Your mother-in-law's opinion ain't worth Jack shit
you book a short break to Spain and she frames this as a girls gone wild slutfest, this is far more about her than it does about you, you might suggest her that perhaps she's the one who wants to go on a slutfest holiday since she's so interested in it
best to just completely ignore her narrative, it's irrelevant, just let her words float away on the breeze
It's terrible that she's making you ill, she's evil and you must stop her

Is MIL frustrated because she never got to be part of a 'Girls Gone Wild Slutfest?' I gather certain Saga holidays make Club18-30 look positively tame if she's feeling left out .

What did your dp say when he got home, firsttimemummy ?

I presume he will not be doing her bidding and going and staying with her while he is away; that he is grown up enough to cope for himself for the whole 3 days you are away And that he will ensure that she doesn't muscle in on the hospital appointment

Have a fabulous weekend away - and and

If you have time before you go, I'd even consider getting some t-shirts printed with your logo on it - Girls Gone Wild Slutfest 2019 and then take pictures of you doing the most banal things like eating dinner, going sightseeing, sitting by the pool etc.

I'm sorry that your MiL is being so unkind to you. Her behaviour is truly something else.

Just thinking about it, if you took her aside and had a very quiet word in her ear saying that you know what she's doing but that will only result in you moving away and if that's what she wants, then you're only too happy to oblige. If anyone asked or if word got around you could say something like "Oh why would I say something like that to her. That doesn't sound like something I would say. Where is she getting these ideas from? She doesn't sound well, you know". Meet the nasty head on!! If that would backfire then definitely don't do it.

Move now! He's in nursery in a few years he won't even remember this.
Don't wait until he's older and really settled or you have another baby so again can't take the offer!

Talk to your DH. He is still on your side, right? Xxx

OP this woman doesn’t deserve any headspace. It’s so obvious which posters have normal families - mine is fucked up too and I completely understand how you feel. Definitely talk to your DP about moving.

You have to move and he needs to find another hospital to work at quite frankly, you will always have this in your life otherwise.

I hope you have a fab few days away! Will be nice to take your mind off things!

I totally agree with other posters in that I would just ignore the latest comments. She is digging her own hole and will only make herself look bad, not you

Well there's has been some development!!

I fainted while shopping with my brother on Monday, while I was out and couldn't protest my Brother rang an ambulance to the shop. On coming round I was mortified obviously and taken to hospital for checks, I wasn't happy, they do say nurses make the worse patients haha. My mum came and picked up my Brother and DS while I went the hospital, where they ran the usual tests and my blood pressure is very low and I'm also pregnant. My periods have always been up the wall and not very regular and I think I've had about 4 since my DS was born 13 months ago so as I couldn't give a date for my last period they scanned me then and I'm around 11 weeks.

When we got over the shock my DP was over the moon and before I could even speak he told me that he won't have this situation with his family to continue to make me ill and possibly harm our unborn baby. He then blocked his mother, father and sister from all social media and told his mother that he wants absolutely no contact unless it is a life and death situation and he will review after the new baby is born and if his wishes are not respected then we will be moving away (obviously is not getting that job now I'm pregnant but his mum doesn't need to know that and in my line of work I could just work agency shifts and we could move)

There goes my girls gone wild holiday 😂😂

Well, first off - congratulations!

And secondly, that’s excellent news about your DH’s stance with his family. He sounds like a good ‘un 🙂

You’ve coped with all of this twattery from your MiL as well as being pregnant (even if you didn’t know it) and I hope you now get the peace you all deserve.

And, as a quiet revenge, just think how it’s going to bend your MiL out of shape to know there’s a whole other grandchild she’s not allowed to have any involvement with

I've asked for my care to be transferred to another hospital and I've also asked for a note to be put on my file that my MIL regardless of her job is not to be told anything about my care. Also when we get to the eventual birth my in-laws will be on the "not allowed visitor list"