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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be over the moon my DP has finally took his balls out of Mummy's handbag and told her where to go

411 replies

FirstTimeMummyDS88 · 11/07/2019 09:18

from Hell, like she's actually a Demon http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amibeing_unreasonable/3610296-mil-from-hell-like-she-s-actually-a-demon

Link to previous thread above

So as a few of you may remember reading my previous posts my MiL is bat shit crazy. The lest few weeks my DP has been more supportive but was still getting a lift to work everyday from her (they work in same place and she says there's no point them both driving).

It was DS 1st birthday 2 weeks ago and we decided to have a few friends and family around for cake and a few party games, decided against a big party as he's 1 and will never remember it and we planned a few days out over his birthday week.

Party started at 2pm, DS was sat on floor with a few other children playing pass the parcel (with help from my brother who is 14) when PIL arrived at 3.15, MIL swanned in like a Disney Villain and picked up DS mid game from my brothers knee without so much of a word to anyone. I asked her if she could give DS back to my brother so he could finish game as DS was trying to get down. She loudly announced that she wanted to give him his presents. DP stepped in and said "well it won't hurt to wait 5 minutes, let's let him finish playing first, we can do the cake and then presents"

She handed DS over to DP who gave him straight to my brother. She muttered something about how I always have a problem with everything she does and called me a cow, my brother took exception to this and said "don't talk about my sister like that, especially in her house and at a kids party, act your age"

MIL demanded to have a word in kitchen with DP and myself where she proceeded to tell us that she had wanted private time with her Grandson on his birthday and was furious at being spoken to like that by my disrespectful little shit brother. Now I have probably called my brother far worse over the years but I am not having anyone speak about him like that and especially as I don't think he said anything wrong so I told her if she couldn't be civil then to leave as I wasn't having a scene and if I hear another word about my brother I'll throw her arse out myself

Anyway a bit later we go to do the cake and as I'm walking in with the cake and we are all singing happy birthday she tries to take DS from DP who shrugged her off and helped DS blow out candles. She loudly asked what the problem was and my DP tried to shush her. She suddenly shouted at the top of her voice "your trying to keep me away from my baby" Well it was like a switch was finally set off in DP's brain and he told her to shut up and he would speak to her after party. Guests all left probably feeling quite awkward. DP then went off like a bomb telling her that she was disgusting to ruin his party and that DS is not her baby he is our baby and from now on she needs to back the fuck off or she won't be seeing either of them again. She tried to argue back but he wouldn't have it (was actually quite a turn on haha) since then he hasn't seen her, she has phoned once to see how him and baby are and he has just said "we are all fine, we will see you soon I'll ring you" and he has started driving himself to and from work. SIL sent a message kicking off about the way he spoke to their mum and his reply was "you can go and fuck off aswell"

I actually know I'm not being unreasonable I just wanted to brag about my DP finding his spine and finally slaying the monster Smile

OP posts:
FirstTimeMummyDS88 · 12/07/2019 16:05

@PrayingandHoping

Yeah when my mum rings she asks "how is everyone?" My MiL Will specifically ask my DP "how are you and baby?"

My SIL lives abroad and you to send messages asking to skype with her brother and baby and has even gonna as far as to say things like "just you two, make sure she's not around, wait until she's not in"

OP posts:
mbosnz · 12/07/2019 16:10

I remember being asked to take a photo, since they wanted 'just the family in it'. . . we'd just got married about a year ago. Things did get better, but it was an uphill struggle at times, lol.

sockatoe · 12/07/2019 16:16

Yay for DP, for family harmony etc etc and a massive GrinHaloStar to your brother, who at 14 sounds like he is destined to be a fabulous gentleman

PrayingandHoping · 12/07/2019 16:33

@FirstTimeMummyDS88 I do remember you saying that on a previous thread.
Flipping heck they are SO rude!! How your DH has tolerated them being like that with the person he's chosen to spend the rest of his life with I just can't understand!

buttertoasty · 12/07/2019 17:06

The sister is a flying monkey just ignore her.

Kolo · 12/07/2019 19:05

Bloody hell, just read previous thread. My MIL is a bit batshit, but nothing compared to yours!

Matildalamp · 12/07/2019 20:13

I hardly ever comment on Mumsnet but driven to do so with this!
Anyone who thinks the OP is controlling, unpleasant, chavvy, or nasty falls into any or all of three categories.

  1. Hasn’t read the other threads
  2. Hasn’t met people like OP’s MIL
  3. Is being goady for the sake of arguing

Congratulations OP! Although as others have said watch out for sudden illness on part of MIL!

FirstTimeMummyDS88 · 12/07/2019 21:35

So she called this evening as she find out that DS has an appointment with his consultant at the end of the month and she wanted to come to the appointment so needed to know the exact date so she could book it off work. DP told her that her presence wasn't needed or given the situation at the moment her presence wasn't wanted either. He also said that when he said that he will call her meant that unless it's an emergency he doesn't want to hear from her for a while, he is disgusted with the levels of disrespect she has shown me and it will no longer be tolerated and he also said he is partly to blame for letting it go on for so long

He might get lucky tonight 😉😂😂

OP posts:
Cheery145 · 12/07/2019 21:44

Woo hoo! Love this story! So glad you’re getting the respect you deserve and being supported by DP! Xx

Howlovely · 12/07/2019 21:46

Yes Mr FirstTimeMummy! 🤜🏻🤛🏻

PrayingandHoping · 12/07/2019 21:50

How the heck did she find out about the appointment? Has she been snooping at the hospital again?!!!! She needs to be called out on that 😡

Cherrysoup · 12/07/2019 21:52

How did she find out your ds has an appointment?!

FirstTimeMummyDS88 · 12/07/2019 21:54

@PrayingandHoping

Different hospital so no not this time

It's either she saw the letter as it was on the fridge during the party o she could have seen it then or another family may have told her, I did mention it a DP's cousin last week as she was asking me best dates to get together and she said the day of the appointment so I mentioned it then

OP posts:
JammyGem · 12/07/2019 21:57

Please tell me she already knew about the appointment and she didn't find out by accessing his records...

JammyGem · 12/07/2019 21:58

Ah sorry, cross post.

cstaff · 12/07/2019 22:07

Well OP there is no question that your dh has found his balls Grin - love that phrase - but now he is shaking them all around for all to see him man up. This must be the biggest turn on for you. Here's hoping they don't go walk about anytime soon Grin

ThanosSavedMe · 12/07/2019 22:14

I love your update, I remember your other thread.

Ignore the idiots on here. They’re obviously very lucky and have not had to deal with the shit you have

derxa · 12/07/2019 22:19
Confused
Tooner · 12/07/2019 22:55

Updates just getting better and better as is your DP. He definitely deserves a special treat tonight😉

8misskitty8 · 12/07/2019 22:59

Good on your DP finally standing up to her.

I wouldn’t put it past her rearranging this appointment OP.

She might still be accessing your son and your medical records though as in some areas records are held centrally and can be accessed by any hospital.
I would report her as if she is doing this to family then who else is she doing it too ? Her friends, neighbours ?

Weenurse · 12/07/2019 23:35

💐

BookwormMe2 · 13/07/2019 07:57

Your DP is on fire now, OP! So pleased he's finally twigged what she's like. What was her reaction when he told her she wasn't welcome at his appointment? Has she twigged yet?

BookwormMe2 · 13/07/2019 07:58

Also, as 8misskitty8 says, if she tries to rearrange his appointment to suit her, you HAVE to report it. It's a massive data breach and she needs to be stopped and fired.

billybagpuss · 13/07/2019 08:05

So I’m guessing no apologies have been forthcoming then, she just expected normal service to be resumed 😂

howdyalikemenow · 13/07/2019 08:20

Bloody hell is there no end to her narcissism?

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