That if you kid is vegan you don't withhold that information till 6 hours before the playday?

[Luxplus]

Sunday a girls mom from nusery txt me and wants to plan playday for today with dd1. All well, arrange that I pick the girls up at 2.30pm after I get off work and the girl eats here. I ask the mom regarding allergies ect and get told "the girl is not fussy - likes food" all well and good.
I buy and plan to make pasta carbonara with corn hobbs (a favourite dish with my dds).
9am this morning get a txt from the mom "oh btw you do know that girl is vegan?" ... Nope did not know that
So spend my break and inbetween time at work searching for vegan recipes for kids... Hurried out after work to shop vegan stuff and managed to make falafel in lettuces burgers with fries. Was actually quite proud of myself for pulling it off (not a confident chef). Dad turns up and it turns out that the family only eats fries for birthdays ... No received a txt from me asking me to plz remember that the family do not eat any processed food and that she prefers me to not serve the unhealthy food we normally eat for her girl?
What the heck do I answer back to that?

@StCharlotte "Hello, my name's Poppy and I'm a vegan and I've been picking my nose."

Are vegans allowed to eat their bogies? Does that count as an animal product?

I would ask them to send a packed lunch next time.

Also, If she invites your DD to their house, instruct them to feed her nothing than beef burger and chips. It's no different surely.

I'm vegan and this is just ridiculous.

I wouldn't even dare go round someone's for dinner without them knowing when the convo first comes let alone last minute.

Even with all that if someone is catering to their dietary requirements you can't then be extra fussy by saying no processed food - it's a one off!

I just can't imagine doing this ever...

I'm vegan and aim for whole-food vegan as much as is possible, DD is veggie although eats what we eat at home. If DD were offered falafel and fries on a playdate I would be effusively grateful to the parent who'd gone to such an effort.

I'd be unimpressed with a parent who gave her chicken nuggets "just to see what would happen" though. She's never eaten chicken and I suspect it would make her sick.

Also, If she invites your DD to their house, instruct them to feed her nothing than beef burger and chips. It's no different surely.

Yup. Or a special game where DD only eats blue food, and can't tell the mum until she gets there.

"Absolutely. So when I asked about any dietary requirements and you said 'none', you actually meant 'vegan and whole foods only'. Got you."

Please send that

Thanks for your message.
Given that I didn't know xxxx was vegan until you text me I was actually quite pleased that I managed to pull a suitable meal for the children together using google and running to the shops on my lunch break.
I apologise that my efforts don't meet your requirements.

We have loved having xxxx to play, she really is a delightful child and we would like to have her again. Next time, please send a packed tea so that we are both confident that xxxx's diet is being adequately catered for.

Then, ya know, shout fuck you at your phone and drink some wine

She sounds utterly dire.

Omg

Wow! You did really well meal wise with such short notice.
Can’t wait for their response.....if it isn’t a gushing thanks for your efforts - maybe send them a link to this thread

What a cheeky fucker! 🙄

I do agree with pp (as an ex-vegan myself who may become vegan again in future) that there will be some for whom being 'vegan' is a cover for obsessive/extreme/controlled and sometimes disordered eating. I have noticed this in my friendship group (majority vegan and veggie friendship group).

Also, I do wonder how parents like this will cope when she hits 6 and refuses EVERYTHING!

“the girl is not fussy - likes food"

At that point, the mum should have mentioned she was a vegan.

The mum has a lot to learn. When dc goes on a play date or party, being served chips and/or processed food is par for the course.

Yanbu

Please send pack up if good for child to eat if what I make doesn’t fulfil requirements.

In future pasta with tomato sauce and no cheese for her.

At least you found out early on the parents are nutcases.

Oh well. Plain pasta and corn cobs then for the kid!

Pasta isn't normally vegan though as it's got eggs in it. Although there is vegan pasta but that would require foreknowledge.

"Did you mean to be so rude?" Followed by head tilt emoji.

@LauraMipsum I would never serve nuggets to anybody being veggie or vegan. That's just not acceptable at all. I respect other ppl decisions regarding being vegan, veggi ect. And I really did my best with the dinner, I'm unfortunately neither a great chef nor really good with vegan recipes.

My main annoyance was probably also more the lack of information and the comment about me serving unhealthy processed food ...

Don't use the word sorry/apologise in your response. You have nothing to apologise for. She's being a fucking prick about it. How dare she criticise your choice of food, especially after telling you about her Dd being vegan so late.

I'd say, 'it's a shame you were so disappointed with the meal I provided for your dd, having had very little notice that she is vegan. If I was to ever invite her over again I'd rather you send her food with her. That way everyone will be happy'.

Personally I wouldn't be inviting her again, as I just couldn't be arsed dealing with her mother. No doubt if it's not the food, she'll find something else to criticise.

I’d just pretend she hadn’t sent that and say

“You’re welcome, she’s a lovely girl and had a very nice time”

If I were the cynical sort I'd say it sounds like she was trying to catch you out. All normal vegan parents would spell that out way in advance but she just gives you minimal notice to cater to this new info. Then the vegan food that you did manage to produce was sneered at for not being wholesome enough.

It's a pity the little girl is so nice. Would so much easier to bin the mother if the child was a little horror!

What a complete CF. I could just about accept the short notice on the vegan thing, but the text about the chips afterwards would have pissed me right off.

Her mother is always serving her daughter “unhealthy” vegan food. I’d have just asked her to be picked up before the meal.

@Helenluvsrob pasta isn't vegan unless you get some special ones I found out while googling . That's why I took fries because they were

“You’re welcome, she’s a lovely girl and had a very nice time”

I do like this. ^^

"the family do not eat any processed food"

Wow. No bread. Or oil. Or pasta (even egg free). Or stuff with flour in it. No crisps, tortillas, butter substitute, fruit leathers, fruit juice, peanut butter or even Haribo. They are hardcore. Biscuits & crackers are obviously out, too.