That if you kid is vegan you don't withhold that information till 6 hours before the playday?

[Luxplus]

Sunday a girls mom from nusery txt me and wants to plan playday for today with dd1. All well, arrange that I pick the girls up at 2.30pm after I get off work and the girl eats here. I ask the mom regarding allergies ect and get told "the girl is not fussy - likes food" all well and good.
I buy and plan to make pasta carbonara with corn hobbs (a favourite dish with my dds).
9am this morning get a txt from the mom "oh btw you do know that girl is vegan?" ... Nope did not know that
So spend my break and inbetween time at work searching for vegan recipes for kids... Hurried out after work to shop vegan stuff and managed to make falafel in lettuces burgers with fries. Was actually quite proud of myself for pulling it off (not a confident chef). Dad turns up and it turns out that the family only eats fries for birthdays ... No received a txt from me asking me to plz remember that the family do not eat any processed food and that she prefers me to not serve the unhealthy food we normally eat for her girl?
What the heck do I answer back to that?

Bizarre that she expected you to know all of this, 99% of people aren't all raw/unprocessed/whatever the trend is vegans.

Hell, most vegans aren't, its awkward enough following a vegan diet, nevermind if you're not allowed processed food (chips are a staple!).

You need to let her know her communication is lacking, though tbh I probably wouldn't offer to feed her dd again regardless. Also on another note, so what if chips are for special occasions only in their household? is dinner at a friends house not a special occasion?

The not telling you she’s vegan until late could be forgiven but it’s rude to criticise what you’ve given their DD; I wouldn’t have a polite response to send back so I’d ignore it for your DDs sake

Yanbu! Omg you went to all that effort and they were still rude to you. Next time if she comes round I would just be offering snacks (fruit, nuts, crackers etc).

Many years ago we had this bbq type thing for local play groups in our community, one little boy (must have been about 5ish) came up and asked for a sausage. All good until his mum went mental at us because he was vegetarian, like hell we were to no he actually enjoyed the sausage

What a weirdo. Tell her bollocks

I’m vegan and I wouldn’t invite them round again. Whole foods vegans are a challenge. I organised a vegan Easter egg hunt this year it went well but quite a number of vegans wouldn’t come because their kids aren’t allowed refined sugar.

Most vegans are fine but for some veganism is just part of extreme eating (to the extent on one group I’m on someone suggested carrot juice as an appropriate alternative to formula because it was more similar to breast milk) I tend to avoid that type of vegan as I’d just offend them with my cake and chocolate loving kids

Surely if you call to arrange a play date you have them over to yours? She is one CF!

Well yes, BagOfDicks, the only unprocessed vegan food I can think of is vegetables and pulses.

Poor little girl. Fries for birthdays? Aww, that's really not much of a treat is it. I bet she'd wolf down a slice of birthday cake. I can see some particularly disordered eating in this girls future.

I had a mum tell me her child was vegan. So I made a really lovely vegan pasta bake my kids love. The child then said "no, I don't eat that. I am vegan." Turns out that the child isn't vegan at all. She is just so, so fussy that she only eats bread, spread, chips, crisps and quorn nuggets.

To be fair, it’s a reasonable assumption on her part that you would know they were a vegan family, as you’d known them for more than 5 minutes.

If you want to do another play date just tell the mum to pack a lunch for DD to avoid any further concerns.

Or you could give her a bowl of raw, organic carrots.

@ellisandra

@cushioncovers I'm sure there is but I had very limited time and although we eat all different kind of veggies we are not used to vegan dishes...

@Passthecherrycoke thats a good txt. I will try txting something similar, thanks

My go to meal for playdates when DD was little was pasta with home made tomato sauce, and served with broccoli. It covered all bases and always went down well. Grated cheese was an optional extra.

In this case the parents of this child were :

a) cheeky to ask for a playdate at your house
b) inconsiderate to only inform you of the child's diet with very little notice
c) ungrateful of the time and effort that you went to to make what sounded like a delicious meal

I would be very inclined to message back that as they don't seem to be able to trust you to provide what they consider a decent meal for their child they should provide a pack up for her if she does come to your house again.

I hope the kid ate the fries!!

You say she’s a friend from nursery, so presumably 4 or under. Does she even want to be a vegan? Surely she’s too young to make a choice and shouldn’t have a difficult diet forced on her by her parents.

I’d have been tempted to give her chicken nuggets just to see what would happen.

@dontforgetto love the suggestion

Get the mum to collect before tea. Problem solved!

I'd say, 'I had very little notice about x being vegan and had to serve what was available. Wish you had told me her dietary requirements when I asked, as I had another meal planned originally, which had to go to waste'.

CF

I bet the girl "likes food", if she only gets steamed organic kale at home...

I'd reply that unfortinately we only have unhealthy processed food in the house, would she prefer to drop a lunchbox over?

they can play together at nursery.

This. Honestly, don't reply and don't have her round again.

I'd be inclined to have her over more to give her a break from her ridiculous micromanaging parents!!

Given that the mother contacted you, she should have hosted the play date. They can’t just dribble out a series of rules of hosting to you like this.

I suspect you’re just the latest on their list, and there’s a trail of pissed-off former play date hosts in their wake.

@Ithinkmycatisevil she ate loads of fries should perhaps have been my warning something was up she is 4 years and was really wellbehaved and polite...
Sent a reponse a long the lines of the suggested answers and awaiting now if something comes back.

I think I would write "ha ha! See you tomorrow (or whenever)" and watch her fall over herself to explain that she genuinely was criticising you.

She contacted you about a play date, so why did you host It?

She also sounds bloody mental. Poor kid.

I'd probably reply with something like "I'm not sure what to say to that. I think it's quite rude to comment when I went to a big effort to make a vegan meal at only a few hours notice. Let's avoid playdates over meals in future."