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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That if you kid is vegan you don't withhold that information till 6 hours before the playday?

316 replies

Luxplus · 09/07/2019 20:41

Sunday a girls mom from nusery txt me and wants to plan playday for today with dd1. All well, arrange that I pick the girls up at 2.30pm after I get off work and the girl eats here. I ask the mom regarding allergies ect and get told "the girl is not fussy - likes food" all well and good.
I buy and plan to make pasta carbonara with corn hobbs (a favourite dish with my dds).
9am this morning get a txt from the mom "oh btw you do know that girl is vegan?" ... Nope did not know that Shock
So spend my break and inbetween time at work searching for vegan recipes for kids... Hurried out after work to shop vegan stuff and managed to make falafel in lettuces burgers with fries. Was actually quite proud of myself for pulling it off (not a confident chef). Dad turns up and it turns out that the family only eats fries for birthdays Confused ... No received a txt from me asking me to plz remember that the family do not eat any processed food and that she prefers me to not serve the unhealthy food we normally eat for her girl? Shock
What the heck do I answer back to that? Confused

OP posts:
NCBabyBoy · 09/07/2019 20:43

Nothing. And no more playdates at yours ever again. Sheeeesh!!!

Whackitupto200 · 09/07/2019 20:43

Tell her to fuck off. What does she think you are? A restaurant?

Original poster
Luxplus · 09/07/2019 20:43

Opps missed
Now received a txt from the mom

OP posts:
sweeneytoddsrazor · 09/07/2019 20:45

Tell her you wont feed her.

MammaMia19 · 09/07/2019 20:46

I’d send a pointed message back that she should really inform people about her extreme diet requirements beforehand and not to worry about it as there won’t be a next time!

Purpleseastars · 09/07/2019 20:46

I’d txt back saying 1 it’s rude to txt and ask about a play date and it’s you who’s having to have it at yours when it was her idea. 2 telling you she’s not fussy when clearly her mother is and 3 not letting you know her dd is vegan straight away.

What a CF.

Original poster
Luxplus · 09/07/2019 20:46

But the girl is realky sweet and well behaved.. Think it's a shame if they can't play together Blush

OP posts:
Winterfellismyhome · 09/07/2019 20:46

Ask her to send her daughter with a packed lunch next time to avoid any issues

Summertimeatthebeach · 09/07/2019 20:46

4 hours before our bbq on Saturday I got a text from a dm with a list of issues her dd had with regards to her unbeknown to me autism....
I feel your pain op...

Imjusthere · 09/07/2019 20:46

If there homemade cut them a different shape = wedges 😂
Seriously tho, that's crackers!!! No more playdates

cushioncovers · 09/07/2019 20:46

Bad manners not to let you know in advance. But having said that there is soooo much vegan food out there it's really not a hassle to pick something up.

Celebelly · 09/07/2019 20:47

What a CFer!!! Poor kid with a mother like that.

TheCrowFromBelow · 09/07/2019 20:48

That’s just rude.
She’s invited her daughter to your house (watch that, it’s usually called “childcare” and then moaned about some chips?
I would just leave it and not reply - and no more play dates!

StCharlotte · 09/07/2019 20:48

I met a three year old who introduced herself thus: "Hello, my name's Poppy and I'm a vegan and I've been picking my nose." Your visitibg child needs better training from her exceedingly rude parents.

Passthecherrycoke · 09/07/2019 20:48

I would just text back and say “you didn’t tell me until the last minute that she was began so I did my best in the limited time available to change my menu plans to something she could eat. Sorry it wasn’t to your standards- next time let’s do a play date without the meals”

TheCrowFromBelow · 09/07/2019 20:49

they can play together at nursery.

LokisLover · 09/07/2019 20:49

Bloody rude of her, I am amazed at some people and their ways. If they are so worried about what she eats at other’s houses they shouldn’t let her go or send her with her own packed meals.

NavyBlueHue · 09/07/2019 20:49

I think I’d reply sarcastically tbh. Something along the lines of, “Ah shame she won’t be able to come again due to her food control issues. Hope it gets better in time. Good luck working on that.” .... then block her number.

Mentalist CF of the highest order!

IDontGiveABagOfDicks · 09/07/2019 20:49

You could be goady and ask if they eat any vegan subs at all like Violife because that is processed as fuck.

IntoValhalla · 09/07/2019 20:50

Nope.
Tell the mother to fuck all the way off Hmm

I have a child with genuine, medical dietary needs and I’d never drip feed that information to someone else providing food for him Hmm

StripeySocks29 · 09/07/2019 20:51

I’d just text back “don’t worry, there won’t be a next time.”

BusySittingDown · 09/07/2019 20:53

She'd hate me.

My kids aren't fussy and we generally try to give a varied and healthy diet but for "play dates" I usually give food that children tend to like eg. Nuggets, pizza, chips etc. It's just easier and quicker when they don't care about the food anyway, they'd rather just be playing!

They sound like pains and I wouldn't be inviting the child again. I'd be happy to cater for a vegan diet but I wouldn't be dictated to.

dontforgetto · 09/07/2019 20:54

"Absolutely. So when I asked about any dietary requirements and you said 'none', you actually meant 'vegan and whole foods only'. Got you."

Celebelly · 09/07/2019 20:55

Plus isn't the point/fun of play dates that you get to do stuff and eat stuff you don't do at home?!

Pipandmum · 09/07/2019 20:56

Did she actually phrase it that way? Did she actually say the food you serve your child is unhealthy? Id text her back saying you had asked her what her child ate and planned a menu accordingly. That you then adjusted it to be vegan and if what you had planned is not adequate she should pack a meal for her child. The child may not be fussy but her parents sure are!