AIBU or is DP? He's ignoring me please help

[Inahuffpuff]

My DP and I made plans on Friday to do something today (Monday) we barely spend any time together, so was looking forward to it. We don’t live together btw. Sunday night he tells me he can’t make it because he needs to see his friend. I lost it, and sent him a long message basically venting my frustration with everything that’s been going on. At the end, I tell him I won’t make anymore plans and to go to hell. He ignores the message, and the 4-5 messages I sent him today. I’ve even called him a few times, he’s ignored that. I’m now sitting here reading my messages that I sent to him trying to figure out what he could be upset about, and I think it’s the ‘go to hell ‘ bit. He’s the type that will ignore you all day if you swear at him or send him an angry text.

Ive apologised before when I’ve sent angry texts out of frustration but with this one I don’t know. AIBU or is he? Would you be upset if someone told you to go to hell in anger and ignore them all day? I’m tempted to call him again, cuz I want to know what he’s angry about. Please help me

The 'type' who doesn't like being sworn at? That's a fair few people out there. However, if you genuinely don't spend much time at all together then he's probably BU.

Did you enquire after his friend? Perhaps something awful had happened?

Are you sure you want to be with him? It all sounds a bit rocky.

Do you send a lot of angry texts? Maybe he's had enough. I can see why you are disappointed though

It sounds like he’s being manipulative- ignoring you because he knows it’ll annoy you. I would do the same. If you ring again he’s not going to answer.

I can see why you were upset too.

Could it read like you're ending it?

Why did he need to see his friend?
I wouldnr respond to someone who 'lost it'and swore at me either?

Sorry but I would be ignoring you too, more for the fact that you've been told he needs to do something else, see a friend in this case and you basically went off at him for it.
long message basically venting my frustration with everything that’s been going on. At the end, I tell him I won’t make anymore plans and to go to hell.
Were the frustrations relationship related or personal to yourself? If it relationship, there is more of an issue than you telling him to go to hell, slight over reaction in my opinion.
Also the fact you've sent multiple messages today and called him would also wind me up in his position.

Is this cancelling for a friend a regular occurrence or a one off?

I'd suggest 4 or 5 ranty texts might have put the nail in the coffin of your relationship.

Ive apologised before when I’ve sent angry texts out of frustration

Perhaps he's tired of being verbally abused?

You told him to go to hell in your message to him and you're wondering why he might be angry with you? OP, you were really rude. I understand you were frustrated and maybe there is more of a back story here but I wouldn't want to speak to my DH if he told me to go to hell so I understand his reaction. Have you apologised?

Why did he need to go to see his friend instead of adhering to your plans?

It sounds like you broke up with him via text.

You told him to go to hell. That's probably why he is angry. It does sound like you've ended the relationship by saying that and it wasnt particularly nice. Did you ask if friend was ok?

Sounds like a bit of an OTT reaction and whilst I understand you were upset at him bailing on you, it may better if you don't lash out.

'Go to hell' along with other angry texts - that's ending the relationship.

No angry texts, more like 'I don't understand why you're treating me like this' kind of texts.

I don't know why he needed to see his friend, because he's not responding to my texts or calls. I feel like an idiot for sending so many texts and calling. I guess it's the 'go to hell' bit that pushed him to the edge.

So did you apologise for your angry text in any of your texts today?

I'm be upset if I received a text like that, and if you have form for getting angry and ranting at him, I can see that he is probably reevaluating your relationship.

He didn't sound like he was making much effort with your relationship at all. Now ok, you got angry but to be honest, why do you even want to restart this relationship? Leave it be now and move on.

Why didnt you ask before you went off on one?

You have apologised before for sending angry texts, now saying the texts werent angry? I am confused as you also said you 'lost it'.

No I haven't apologised. He will probably ignore that text too. Should I just leave him alone til he gets back in contact?

OP, what if his friend is seriously ill or something and he cant take your calls? Sorry, just trying to consider possibilities. I cant understand why you didn't ask about the friend first before jumping off at the deep end unless theres a back story.

You sound like you massively overreacted.

How long have you been together and how many times have you had to apologise for sending angry texts?

Yes, I think you should definitely just leave it be now. If he doesnt want to talk, well there's your answer

a long list of things that have been bugging you about your relationship followed by go to hell sounds like a break up text to me, there could be many reasons for his silence, sulking, stonewalling, busy with his friend, maybe he has muted you for the evening because he’s sick of angry texts off you, maybe his heart isn’t in it any more and he wants to have a proper talk with you about what you said when you have calmed down and not play angry text tennis...

If i was you I wouldn’t send him any more texts, depending on the content you could be harassing him. If you have apologised he can choose to accept your apology or not, if you’ve raised issues he wants to discuss he will discuss them in his own time, tbh it all sounds like hard work and hassle to me on both sides.

"Sunday night he tells me..."

Was this in a call or by text? Why didn't he explain further? (Did you give him a chance to?)

Him cancelling on you isn't OK, unless it was an emergency, so you've a right to feel angry and upset. But IMHO it isn't OK to be abusive.

How would you feel if the boot was on the other foot?