Given that you have done this to him repeatedly - and for imagined infractions - I'm not surprised he doesn't want to communicate with you.
I am surprised that a 31 year old thinks this is acceptable or normal behaviour and actually came on here to ask why someone she keeps sending abusive messages to was ignoring her. Besides which, it sounded like you had ended the relationship, so what would there be to talk about?
If you loved him you would not be mistreating him, would you?
Cancelling on you was rubbish, but it doesn't justify your behaviour.
I'm the type that will react and say certain things, then think about it later.
You're 31. This isn't acceptable behaviour and you need to sort yourself out. I'd cut you some slack if you were a teenager or early twenties, but it still wouldn't be ok. Do you behave like this at work?
Your behaviour and your attitude are the problem here. You don't get to use people as your emotional punching bag. Or use anger to manipulate people into doing what you want - which is what you were going for here, isn't it?
That's why you're so confused, because you thought by blowing up at him he'd come crawling and do whatever you wanted to appease you, right? And then instead he ignored you.
Healthy relationships don't look like this.
You can't go round treating people like you are. Least of all people you claim to love. It's wrong.