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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for help :-( **Graphic - Thread title edited at OP's request**

151 replies

boredaloneandwaiting · 30/06/2019 21:02

Just had a baby (three days ago!)

All well but had a pretty traumatic birth ending in forceps and episiotomy. Was in hospital then got early this morning. Before being discharged I had to do a wee (after catheter removal) and have my bladder scanned. All good.

Tonight I went upstairs to do my first poo (sorry!) and before I even got my pants off I lost complete control of my bladder. Cue bleeding and weeing on the floor. :-( think the bleeding was from my stitches (I've had bleeding there since birth).

I also haven't managed to do a poo as it was so painful I couldn't even sit on the toilet or push at all.

I tried pressing a wet flannel on my stitches but that didn't really help :-(

Any advice or similar stories??

Please I'm feeling particularly crap tonight :-(

OP posts:
FudgeBrownie2019 · 30/06/2019 21:05

Oh you poor thing. No advice but a hug and a handhold. These first couple of weeks can be so, so hard on your body. Flowers

Hopefully good advice will be along shortly.

Laiste · 30/06/2019 21:07

Advice for weeing with stitches:

we in the shower with the shower head in your hand, water on gently warm and point it at your bits as you wee.

Don't leave it too long before really encouraging a poo. With some coffee, or a bowl of bran flakes or some syrup of figs.

Flowers
Laiste · 30/06/2019 21:09

Oh and get hold of the biggest 'mattress' like sanitary pads you can find (or get someone else to find) and don't be afraid to put a couple on at once. Nice and soft to sit on AND soaks up the blood.

Sexnotgender · 30/06/2019 21:11

The first week or two sucks ass unfortunately.

The bleeding will be lochia.

If your bladder issues continue go to the GP.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 30/06/2019 21:13

I had a fairly straightforward birth with only stocked and I was in agony for weeks, so it must be awful for you OP. Please go easy on yourself and don’t worry about the blood and wee etc. Do you have someone to help with your baby?

thedevilcamefromthehimber · 30/06/2019 21:13

Try and pour warm water on yourself when you wee. The first poo is always daunting and it probably will hurt, try and do small little ones if you have any control. Also warm salt baths were a life saver when I had my first! But if your in a lot pain or you think your stitches have split maybe ring 111.

user1493413286 · 30/06/2019 21:14

That happened to me; I had my catheter removed and did a wee then the next day suddenly lost control of my bladder and had a big bleed. It was only that time it happened and all has been fine since.
Could you get some lactulose or anything to make things a bit softer? That really helped me.
Also congratulations on your baby!

AshesOfEden · 30/06/2019 21:17

I had a c-section so didn't have the deal with this side of recovery, but my friend who gave birth the following day used to leave a plastic bottle of warm water on the toilet tank to squirt whilst having a wee. Said it helped ease the pain loads! Worth a try maybe?

Diangled · 30/06/2019 21:17

These first couple of weeks are very hard on your body. Go very easy. Hopefully the midwife will be round to see you tomorrow & you can be reassured.
Congratulations on your new baby Smile.

flobella · 30/06/2019 21:19

My friend had exactly the same thing after an episiotomy and difficult birth. It will get better, I promise!

Put those pads that you can get for protection when your waters might break under your sheet but on top of your mattress.

Keep a jug of lukewarm water by the loo so you can douse your stitches and alleviate the stinging.

Rest up and let everyone look after you.

Congratulations on the birth of your little one, you’re doing amazingly well x

Imicola · 30/06/2019 21:19

Another vote for lactulose! I waited a couple of days as I was paranoid, then used lactulose to help with the pooing. Don't worry too much about the weeing at this stage, your pelvic floor has taken a hammering and it will take time to go back to normal, but speak to a midwife/HV for advice. The bleeding is most likely the normal post natal bleeding (lochia) which will last a good few weeks, but your midwife should be checking your stitches when they visit so can flag up any problems. And congratulations on your new baby!

marciagetscreamed · 30/06/2019 21:19

Oh goodness you poor thing! I can almost feel the pains as I read your post Sad.

I) get some suppositories from the docs to help you Poo

  1. do not do number one less you have someone to help with the baby. It may be messy.

  2. warm flannel held to your bits is good advice, do that every time you pee, if only to make it seem like you're insides aren't actually going to fall out.

  3. congratulations - you've done a bloody brilliant job in giving birth to a human being Smile

Diangled · 30/06/2019 21:19

Oh yes & definitely ask for lactulose!

Mylittlepony374 · 30/06/2019 21:20

I peed all over the floor of a shop the day after I got home from the hospital after first baby. Big puddle. Everyone looking/pointing/laughing. I squelched out as quickly as I could. Then proceeded to pee all over the car. No control at all. Haven't peed myself since, so hopefully yours too is a one off. If not, get referral to physiotherapy.

KateWrong · 30/06/2019 21:20

Firstly Congratulations!! And also poor you... it is so, so hard in the beginning. It will get better, though it may not feel like it now Flowers My midwife suggested stool softeners (Lactulose) which helped a lot with the poo

HertsMum81 · 30/06/2019 21:20

Congratulations on your baby OP (but commiserations on the stitches etc... been there!) A few tips that helped me:

  • prunes/prune juice!
  • pouring a jug of warm water over your bits as you pee
  • putting sanitary towels in the freezer before you wear them (sweet relief!)
  • doughnut cushion to sit on

What you’re experiencing all sounds totally normally for a few days post partum but make sure you get any persistent/worsening pain checked out if you have any (I had an undiagnosed infection in my stitches which even the HV checks didn’t pick up, so ended up on some hardcore ABs. I’m sure you’ll be absolutely fine but just a word of warning!)

Enjoy your new little one Flowers

SinkGirl · 30/06/2019 21:21

Send someone the chemist for some dulcoease (stool softener capsules) and glycerine suppositories (they just soften what’s waiting there and help it to pass)

MadeForThis · 30/06/2019 21:25

Definitely get lactulose. Try to poop as soon as you can. And fart. Wind after a c section can be very painful.

I was advised to get arnica tablets and peppermint oil tablets. Both helped.

Halo1234 · 30/06/2019 21:27

This exact same thing happend to me. Forcepts delivery. Did u have a spinal? I did. Was standing in my bedroom and started weeing with no sensation that I needed. Queue panic. Went back to hospital
Had a catheter put in for 2 days. They didnt really know why. But after second catheter was removed everything went back to normal (well as long as I avoid running/trampolines so a new normal lol) but always felt the sensation. Was worried I would be like that forever. It's a scary experience but i was totally fine. Sure u will be too. Xx

kos88 · 30/06/2019 21:27

I had forceps and definitely the first few times I went for a wee it all kind of ‘fell out’ with zero control. The midwife told me completely normal after the catheter and to go to the loo every 2 hrs until sensation / control came back. The second week was worse with stitches I found them quite sore, but after that all fine. Take it easy, lots of kegels, gentle on your pelvic floor and you should be ok. Congratulations on your new baby x

StopMakingATitOfUrselfNPissOff · 30/06/2019 21:30

Whilst it feels counterintuitive, make sure you get back to doing your pelvic floor exercises asap. It helps I promise.

Passmethecrisps · 30/06/2019 21:34

Bless your heart!

Are you BFing? I ask only as that may alter what you can take.

I had third degree tearing with number two and was given lactulose, dihydrocodeine and husk gel stuff. I was told to take it all.

The other thing which I absolutely swear by is witch hazel in the fridge. Keep a bottle in the fridge and when you feel the need to go for a poo pour a lot onto a large pad. Hold the pad against your stitches to provide some resistance when you push. You will feel more secure and be witch hazel is cleansing and cooling.

I also just wore the pads soaked in the stuff and healed amazingly well from both births.

It is an awful phase and you feel terribly vulnerable. Take what you can and make yourself as comfortable as possible.

Original poster
boredaloneandwaiting · 30/06/2019 21:35

Thanks everyone :-)

I'm really trying to focus on the positive that I'm home with a healthy baby but at the same time I'm just so down :-(

It's mainly the pooing that's the issue 🙈 I can wee fine I just lost control that time :-( no idea why :-(

Pooping (sorry tmi) I can feel something is there I just can't bear down to get it out without feeling like my stitches are tearing. Very painful :-(

OP posts:
Passmethecrisps · 30/06/2019 21:37

We will have cross posted but defo hold a cool pad against your stitches when you bear down. The likelihood of bursting your stitches is very slim but the feeling is terrible.

You are very early stages so do be very gentle with yourself

Teaandchocolatecake · 30/06/2019 21:39

I was urine incontinent after my first. Wee just fell out of me I had no sensation at all. Had bladder scans and saw a physio within the first few days and was also given the same advice as a pp, sit on the loo every couple of hours. It didn’t take long for sensation to start returning. I bled for 8 weeks though. Could also only sit on one bum cheek because of bruising!

It will pass and is perfectly normal. You may find that you wet yourself if you bounce on a trampoline in the future or do anything else that’s high impact (very common amongst my friends)!