To ask for help :-( **Graphic - Thread title edited at OP's request**

[boredaloneandwaiting]

Just had a baby (three days ago!)

All well but had a pretty traumatic birth ending in forceps and episiotomy. Was in hospital then got early this morning. Before being discharged I had to do a wee (after catheter removal) and have my bladder scanned. All good.

Tonight I went upstairs to do my first poo (sorry!) and before I even got my pants off I lost complete control of my bladder. Cue bleeding and weeing on the floor. :-( think the bleeding was from my stitches (I've had bleeding there since birth).

I also haven't managed to do a poo as it was so painful I couldn't even sit on the toilet or push at all.

I tried pressing a wet flannel on my stitches but that didn't really help :-(

Any advice or similar stories??

Please I'm feeling particularly crap tonight :-(

Run a warm bath, strip off and go in the water. A bit messy but it doesn't hurt.

Same traumatic birth with forceps abs episiotomy.

Take lactulose. My first couple of times at the loo were fine but then I got constipated and felt like labour all over again.

Get your stitches checked. I ripped mine and that was fresh hell. It felt like I was sitting on glass. Couldn't sit/stand/lie without pain.

Download the Squeezy app and do your pelvic floor exercises religiously.

Congratulations xxx

I peed myself a lot for the first two weeks.(chest infection too so lots of coughing). No bladder sensation or urge to void. (Open episiotomy wound). Lots better now.

Yes thank god for lactulose and dulcoease! It’s a shock to feel so terrible after the birth but you will get better. I felt like an old lady after my forceps birth, hobbling and shuffling about in pain, slowly sitting down on a soft cushion and never straying too far from the loo. You are allowed to feel sorry for yourself.

I didn't dare poo for a week after my first birth and then it was so enormous I had to show my partner . You could try pooing in a warm bath as the water will soften and ease its exit, then you can scoop it out and flush. It does get better , but no one warns you how much it hurts after giving birth.

I did my first few poos in the bath after DC1. It wasn't pretty but did what I had to do.

Dried apricots, OP, they work bloody WONDERS!

Get lactulose over the counter tomorrow and take the max dose and plenty of water. I had baby blues with all 3 of mine at around day 4. Hang on in there and it usually gets much better after a few days. You’re doing brilliantly. You just have to feed and clean baby and yourself- don’t try to achieve anything else!

Congratulations!

I’d say go easy on the laxatives/prunes etc because if there is something physically stopping you from pooing you can end up in a world of pain that way. Make sure you’re drinking plenty of water though.

If you still can’t poo tomorrow morning and you’re in pain or discomfort with it, don’t be afraid to go back to the labour ward (if you don’t feel they’re listening to you and you have a good GP, you may well have more luck going the GP route). Don’t want to scare you, just to avoid you having to go through what I did... I spent a whole day trying to get a poo out (day 5), in progressively more and more pain and discomfort, trying everything I could think of (mostly the same sort of things you try in labour!), ended up in an ambulance in the middle of the night after a nurse friend had tried everything possible at home (I can just about still look her in the face ). It wasn’t until about 10 o’clock the next morning that they thought of ultrasounding my bladder - turns out you can be weeing regularly but the bladder’s not actually emptying!

Wasn’t until that afternoon that I managed to poo and it was so big it blocked the hospital toilet . I was peeing into a bag for the next week until my bladder figured out how to empty itself properly. I should have just called the hospital instead of trying to tough it out because ‘the first poo’s always hard’. It’s so hard in the first few days because you feel like you’ve been hit by a bus anyway (specially with a difficult birth) - but if you feel something’s really not right give them a call.

And bloody well done - you GREW A TINY HUMAN! Bet it’s gorgeous. Sooner than you think, all the trauma of these days will be a hazy memory.

Oh, I just re-read and saw they did actually scan your bladder before you went home (they didn’t mine, although they were supposed to) so you almost certainly don’t have the same problem - sorry! Ignore the horror story! Maybe try painkillers though if you’re no longer taking them for the stitches - they told me they thought it was actually the pain from my bladder that was stopping me from going.

OP I had a really similar birth to you & would recommend getting something in the loo that you can pop jury feet on that elevates then, so your legs are at a 90 degree angle when you try to poo 🦵 and then rock backwards and forwards u til you feel the urge to push. The hospital physio suggested this to me at discharge and it helped so much. I use a sitz bath to rest my feet on, it helped so much I'm still using it now at 11 weeks PP; not because I need to but it makes poking so much more comfortable!! (Also had 2 massive prolapsed piles after birth so feel your pain completely!))

other thing I'd say is make sure you're on enough pain relief. Makes such a huge difference to your quality of life these next couple of amazing but absolutely exhausting pain.

Also agree with Pp's re Witchhazel, I sprayed mine directly onto my maternity pads. Also Boots pads I found the best. Don't think you can migrate onto Always pads when your lochia is lighter; they will rip at your stitches. Stick with boots and move onto the thinner ones.

Try to avoid codeine based painkillers as codeine makes you constipated (they are usually prescribed because they are cheap).

Thank you all 😊 I've given up for tonight (uncomfortable but guess that's post birth life!) and will speak to my midwife tomorrow about getting some softener 😊

I'm taking paracetamol and ibuprofen but it doesn't seem to be touching the sides tbh. I thought it would be enough!

Yes my baby is absolutely gorgeous and although I hate all this I can't for a moment take my eyes off them :-) I'm actually currently sat watching them sleep even though I should definitely be sleeping!!! 🙈

This is exactly how I was 15 weeks ago and I honestly for the first week or two thought that was it forever.

Delivery was forceps, episiotomy, spinal, catheter etc and for the first 5 days I had no control so took myself to the toilet hourly to avoid accidents... Luckily I was in hospital 4 days for monitoring and recovery but it was still embarrassing so had huge maternity pads.

Suggestions that helped me where
Regular toilet stops even if you dont think you need to
Lactulose for a few weeks to help poo come out softly along with plenty water
Large maternity pads
TENAs on hand for first couple weeks leaving house

It has improved for me but I am also under consultant/physio for recovery now. Make sure you let midwife/GP etc know if improvement is slow so you can have help and support.

Get on the lactulose. Then when you need to go, hold a flannel on your vulva. My sisters advise was to push/breathe it out much like giving birth! I know that sounds ridiculous but it helped! You will be ok...it’s scary though, I know. I had just the same birth as you with my first. I was offered, and did, some group physio for women who’d had forcep delivery which helped.

I dosed myself with a double combination of movicol and lactulose

Man nothing sucks more than that first poo.
Put your feet on a stool, put a flannel against your perineum with a little pressure then just gently try to push it out. Loads of water will help.
Don’t worry about wetting yourself, I’ve had three kids who are older and last month I had pneumonia. Bloody weed my pants every time I coughed. So much washing!!
When you can try to do your pelvic floor exercises a few times a day.

Just to add that day 3/4 is the WORST. You'll be super emotional and overwhelmed. But this is normal.

And the loss of bladder control is because you've just stretched all the muscles down there. Empty your bladder frequently, practice your pelvic floor exercises & tell your midwife when they visit- they'll want to keep an eye on this & May refer you for some physio.

You've had lots of responses from Mumsnetters because many of us have been here. It's hideous but will pass!

Congratulations on your baby too.

Don't let the poo thing drag on, take lactilose/movicol as advised asap and make yourself get over the fear and go when you feel you can rather than holding it back. I don't want to scare you but I ended up with really severe constipation after a similar birth to you and it was honestly the most miserable few days of my life! I ended up having to ask a family friend who was a midwife to bring me an enema from work to shift it, it was horrendous. So yes, get that side of things in hand first and then see where you are with the weeing etc, it's still very early days and your body has been through so much

I think you've had enough advice on pooing but i also found that a sitz bath was brilliant for my stitches and easing the swelling. You fill it with warm water and it really eased the pain. DD was a massive baby and I tore badly so had loads of stitches.

www.amazon.co.uk/Sitz-Baths/b?node=2826331031&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&ie=UTF8

When I had my DS last year, I had an episiotomy with ventouse assisted delivery. I lost control on my bladder the once which thankfully was pretty much over the toilet anyway!

Stool softeners are definitely the way to go, I felt like that really helped me. I also ate as much fibre as I could and drank loads to dilute my wee so it didn't hurt as much. It does get better I promise

For the poo, if it's really bad see the doctor. I got anaesthetic suppositories after a faecal impaction. And sprayer for the water or kids watering can with shower like head.

Just seen that paracetamol and ibuprofen not enough. You are absolutely entitled to more pain relief if you are in pain. Do not be fobbed off. Ask your midwife or GP and then a different GP if they won't help.

I had to really push for for diclofenac (trade name Voltarol) after my difficult birth. I was so sore and it made it hard to care for my baby. It is safe for breastfeeding and yet some HCPs are reluctant to prescribe it. It made a world of difference to me. It is the same family as ibuprofen (so you can't take them together, but can take it with paracetamol) but stronger.

It is probably best to avoid opioids like codeine as they can worsen constipation.

After my second birth, I was still in need of extra pain relief and just sent my husband to the pharmacy to buy Voltarol for "his bad back". Not advocating anyone else does that but that is what I did.

Watch out for signs of urine infection after having had a catheter. I got one that ended in kidney infection and readmission to hospital because I didn’t spit the signs and thought it was normal after childbirth. I was also peeing blood but couldn’t tell because of the lochia.

I too had forceps and episiotomy. I ended up pooping in the shower I just stood with the warm water on my back and held my undercarriage due to stitches. I took lactulose too. It's really scary having that first poop - I did about 10 little hard balls due to all the pain killers including the morphine. Sorry TMI but I called it my second labour. Once it was done I weirdly went the other way to slurry poop due to the lactulose. Labour is really hard on the body.

Also do take care of yourself if you feel odd do not let yourself be ignored. I ended up with an infection in the episiotomy area that no one picked up and was really poorly.

I'm about the go into labour with baby number 2 so it's all worth it in the end but just take care of yourself physically and mentally - you've done an amazing job!