To ask for help :-( **Graphic - Thread title edited at OP's request**

[boredaloneandwaiting]

Just had a baby (three days ago!)

All well but had a pretty traumatic birth ending in forceps and episiotomy. Was in hospital then got early this morning. Before being discharged I had to do a wee (after catheter removal) and have my bladder scanned. All good.

Tonight I went upstairs to do my first poo (sorry!) and before I even got my pants off I lost complete control of my bladder. Cue bleeding and weeing on the floor. :-( think the bleeding was from my stitches (I've had bleeding there since birth).

I also haven't managed to do a poo as it was so painful I couldn't even sit on the toilet or push at all.

I tried pressing a wet flannel on my stitches but that didn't really help :-(

Any advice or similar stories??

Please I'm feeling particularly crap tonight :-(

Few drops of lavender and tea tree essential oil in a bath. It really helped me with the healing. I’d do it several times a day sometimes and then made a spray bottle up so I could spray it on. Wee in the bath so you don’t get stung. I also used to lean as far forward as I could on the toilet to angle my wee away from my stitches.
You can also put a drop or two of the oils on maternity pads to help with healing.
After a wee or bath dry your stitches with a hairdryer (on a low heat!) and air them as much as possible. They need the air rather than being next to a lochia soaked pad. Change pads very regularly.
My first poo wasn’t as bad as I feared. You just need to get it over with but do try a stool softener.
Pelvic floor exercises are essential as soon as possible as often as you can.
Good luck

Big load of toilet tissue and hold over (press and support) the stitches area when u poo. Also stool softener. Good luck. This will all pass. Your body will recover. It's hard at first.

Prune juice!!!!!!!

Definitely do the lactulose. It's a stool softener, so will just mean you don't have to worry about pushing hard. I can remember being in almost the exact same situation, it's horrific, but it will get better really quickly.
Also second the witch hazel thing. I think I used to soak a pad in witch hazel and stick it in the freezer, then use it like the most soothing ice pack ever. I'm almost certain that was Mumsnet advice so it's good to pay it forward!

You're never unreasonable to ask for help, especially with a newbord!

Make sure you drink plenty of fluids, especially if you're bf. Eat prunes, apricots and other high fibre foods. You shouldn't need to push a poo out, it should come out on its own. Ask the midwife to check your stitches next time she comes round (if it's not soon, book an appointment if you're worried) and go to the pharmacy to get something to help you poo. I didn't find my first poo painful, don't let the fear hold you back.

I had forceps and an episotomy, when I needed to poo I could not wait at all (difficult when you're holding a newborn baby that's only just gone to sleep). It's got much better now, he's nearly 9 months old. I went to see the physio though, she did amazing things.

Also, how is your pain generally? The best advice I got post birth was from my mum who was a nurse. To sort regular pain medication out. I spoke to GP who prescribed me Kopake over the phone (that DH could collect), then alternated it religiously over every 24 hours with ibuprofen and it made the world of difference. Your fanny has been hit by a bus. Any other situation you'd be given all the drugs automatically.

I was given lactulose to help with having a poo I think it's called after my 2nd I had a 3rd degree tear and ended up In theatre may be worth asking about that x

I had no bladder control for a week or two. A sneeze and that was it.
My gp gave me a liquid senna type thing to keep the stool. Soft. Maybe worth asking?
All normal try not to stress and relax,

With my 1st dd they wouldn't let me leave hospital unless I had been for a poo and the numpty I was didn't think about lying. 2nd dd my stitches were so tight I was adviced to let some air get to them, dhs aunty walked in on me. My 4th ds was so big he had squished my placenta, I had pieces coming out for ages after.

Prune juice or lactulose (or both). Make sure you’re really hydrated.

Also - gross, but if needs must - you can try a poo in a warm bath. I know, I know! But in the same way a water birth is easier then it’s the same sort of thing. My midwife recommended it and I felt like you after my first.

Also the flannel against bits when trying to go really helps.

First of all you have been though a lot. So be kind to yourself. Your body has done something amazing and you have a lovely baby. 2nd I had exactly the same birth and found lactulose worked wonders. Eat plenty of fruit and drink lots of water too.
3rd the bladder issue is completely normal, you are still healing. I lost all control getting up to feed my ds one night. Thank god for laminate flooring.

I'm really trying to focus on the positive that I'm home with a healthy baby but at the same time I'm just so down :-(

Oh, sweetheart, please be prepared for the day 3/4/5 ‘baby blues’ - a horrible WTF feeling that comes along with your milk coming in. It passes and then you’ll be fine but this first week or ten days is such a rollercoaster you just have to relax and go with it. It’s all normal!

Don’t worry mum, just trudge along through it because in a few days you’ll be feeling much better

Forceps and epi here too, didn’t poo for 4? 5? days

It was very small and very hard, it stang, it felt massive but it didn’t tear anything and I continued to do hard poos for months because I was so scared that I was holding it in for too long that the poo would dry and it hurt my anus so much to push it out

If I could change anything I would have told that silly suffering me to use glycerin suppositories daily to help the poo fall out without needing to force it and to buy a big water bottle to know I was drinking the right amount of fluid

It’s very easy to dehydrate when you’re a brand new mum, especially if breastfeeding or exhausted

You’ll be just fine

And it helped me to pee tilting right the way forward on the toilet so the urine doesn’t touch your stitches

They’ll be much better in 2-3 days so don’t worry, keep on and take millions of photos of baby despite the pain and suffering because you’ll regret focusing on the misery when your baby is a week old and you don’t have photos to show for it

Keep on top of the pain by alternating paracetamol and ibuprofen if you’re not Bfeeding, if you are check with midwife what you can take, it will make it all feel more comfortable if you don’t get to the point of being in pain and stop it before you get to that point.
Lactulose is your friend, you can buy it over the counter so you don’t need a GP appt, but you need to make sure you drink loads of fluids for it to work effectively, this will make the stool softer and easier to pass, not gonna lie though the first one after giving birth is a nervy time but you’ll feel better once you’ve been! It’s reallh quite rare I think for anyone to actually burst their stitches although it may feel like you’re birthing another baby by the time you do that first poo!
Most of all look after yourself and take all the help you can get!

Stool softeners - don't take senna or biscodyl. Lactulose or movicol/laxido should make it easy to go to the loo. Don't feel bad about doing in the bath - can be so much more comfortable although the thought is very weird. Needs must! The bladder thing will come... seriously, it's very early and don't feel bad. After a catheter even your bladder can be hypersensitive. Just try not to stress, it will settle. This is from someone who had the same happen and also has medical knowledge.

And a reminder to everyone. Regular pelvic floor exercises.

first aid I remember my husband coming back armed with witch hazel and massive pads having been told by a kindly pharmacist. It was so magnificent that I have shared it with every woman to whom it might be relevant.

You've had some good advice here OP, but I'd just like to add - do not do heavy lifting for a good 6 months. Your pelvic floor has taken a battering, and any heavy lifting can damage it further and lead to pelvic organ prolapse (I have it - trust me, you don't want it). If you are using a travel system, do not carry the car seat for long distances (like I did). Always use the buggy frame.

And definitely do your pelvic floor exercises - it will helping weeing and pooing return to normal. See the NHS Squeezy app.

Congratulations on your baby

Oh lovely, I've been there, it's absolutely horrific, but it will pass.

I'd assume you're still on daily midwife visits, speak to your midwife, or GP or get somebody to go to the chemist for some lactulose or similar, you need to get that poo as soft as you possibly can to get it out as easily as possible. Hang in there, it will get better!

Feet up on books is my top tip! I couldn't poo for several days after 4th degree tear, despite feeling the urge. Don't worry, when your body is ready you will poo and you shouldn't need to force it! Definitely take stool softeners, eat dried apricots etc and drink lots of water. I was advised to put feet up on books for optimum on-toilet position and it all went smoothly with no drama. Well, I did cry from fear but the actual poo was fine. Good, even!!

Another vote here for lactulose

Ah I had forceps/episiotomy too😭
Downstairs will be swollen so totally normal re the wee
I had no sensation at all until the absolute last minute for number 2 for around 6weeks. In fact for the first year it was very much oh shit I need to go NOW. So don’t be like me and try to live with it if that does happen and do seek help.
Forceps are like BBQ tongs!!! Did you have a back to back baby?
If you’re breastfeeding (and probably even if you’re not) watch out for getting extremely dehydrated. This can cause a hard poo and you put off going and then when you do...you can imagine. Drink LOADS
Defo get a stool softener yes.
I seem to remember Witch Hazel being useful on a pad and there are ones you can put in the fridge
I did go in the bath once and I squatted many times
You can get numbing sprays on prescription for your bum
I had quite a few salt baths for a very sore backside.
My diet was shit at the beginning as you’re just surviving and I ended up in such pain from not going for two weeks I upped my intake of fruit/veg and lowered my intake of “white carbs” as they were bunging me up. ESP bread.
Sorry for TMI

Deffo lactose it coats your insides so it will just slide out

Hi you poor thing. It is normal and will get better. But lactulose is a must. Take it every day for a while. Also have tepid baths just deep enough to sit in with bread soda. It is v. Calming on that area. Good luck

Yes to lactulose, I dreaded going to the loo, it was awful. Be kind to yourself and give your body all the help you can get, it’s earned it. Hope you feel better soon, congratulations.