To ask for help :-( **Graphic - Thread title edited at OP's request**

[boredaloneandwaiting]

Just had a baby (three days ago!)

All well but had a pretty traumatic birth ending in forceps and episiotomy. Was in hospital then got early this morning. Before being discharged I had to do a wee (after catheter removal) and have my bladder scanned. All good.

Tonight I went upstairs to do my first poo (sorry!) and before I even got my pants off I lost complete control of my bladder. Cue bleeding and weeing on the floor. :-( think the bleeding was from my stitches (I've had bleeding there since birth).

I also haven't managed to do a poo as it was so painful I couldn't even sit on the toilet or push at all.

I tried pressing a wet flannel on my stitches but that didn't really help :-(

Any advice or similar stories??

Please I'm feeling particularly crap tonight :-(

I was really worried about the first poo, I remember popping into my parents on the way back from hospital, having a quick shower and as I got out had no feeling of needing to poo but involuntarily pushing happened; thankfully I was near the loo! I didn't have much feeling for a while though, but a few months on it started to feel back to normal. I bought some of the bottoms up spray and put it onto a thick maternity pad for the first few weeks, and sat on a cushion rather than just the sofa or a chair. It sounds fairly normal, but mention at your appointments if you are concerned or want some advice. Also make sure you go for a wee often, otherwise the pressure becomes really uncomfortable. Congratulations and its so hard to cope with a newborn and healing but it does get easier.

Gloved finger, glycerine suppositories and then break up the mass manually (gloved finger again).

If you can do it in the bath it helps.

I had this after a c-section and it was hideous.

Hi OP, I'm a midwife. I'd see if you could get a community midwife to come and see you today to get some face to face advice and support. If they can't come out, maybe a phone call to cover off a few points that you raise in your OP.

Re the dreaded post-birth poo, its very common to feel like your stitches are going to come apart, but it's very, very rare that they actually do. You could try holding a maternity pad soaked in warm water over your perineum as you poo. It helps relax the area, and you'll feel that your stitches are more supported.

Also, if you can put your feet up on a stool or similar (Like thos squatty potty things, but most women make do with whatever they have around the house, rather than buying something specific!) when you try to poo, that helps tip your pelvis into the best position for defecation and eases the process somewhat!

Keep your diet healthy - lots of fresh/dried fruit, water etc. Speak to your midwife about trying a stool softener, she'll probs tell you to buy it OTC but do run it past her first.

And start doing your pelvic floor exercises as soon as it feels comfortable to do so. The Squeezy app is brilliant, it's designed by specialist physios.

Congratulations on your baby.

My (only) baby is now 29, but I still remember losing control of my bladder and weeing over the floor in my hospital room, as I moved a chair.
This was after a forceps delivery; it never happened again.

Ahhh I feel your pain. Happened to me the day I gave birth and my birth was very straight forward! DP had popped out to go to the shop and I had been feeding LO. I was dying to wee but he took ages. When he came back I handed over LO and stood up to walk to the bathroom and just pee’d myself. I was so embarrassed/horrified and thought this was going to be my life for the foreseeable. It only happened once more after that and that was when I was very sick with mastitis around 4 months but not sure if that was to do with birth or just being out of it

Also I was way too scared to poop for at least the first week, so I wouldn’t stress! Did you pick up any softener? It really does help. When I finally went I didn’t really push, I just sat on the loo for a long time and let my body naturally expel it, was way less scary! Sorry for tmi

You’ve had a tough time, please be gentle on you and your body! You’ve just done an amazing thing and you are so strong! X

Thank you everyone again :-) I haven't pooped yet but I had a bath at 6am and it felt amazing 🙈 I'm about to have one now and will probably try 🤞

God pregnancy and labour and post birth are so glamorous 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

I'm still waiting to be contacted by a community midwife as I don't have one assigned yet but I'll definitely be asking her what I can take (already got dh to get some lactulose!) This is really tmi but I assume lactulose won't soften what is already there so I probably need a suppository as well?

Feel guilty leaving my newborn to lie in the bath but my husband made me laugh earlier by pointing out if he had just been through what I had then he would never leave the bath 😂 thank god I have a healthy baby and a very supportive family :-)

I had a forceps birth with quite severe injuries which were repaired at the time. I had dual incontinence for about 6 months after. I was not offered any additional help as there was no funding in my area for it (London). I researched online and bought my own kegel 8 machine. I have unfortunately never really recovered physically from my birth (8 years ago). And have not been able to access any further help. Please let the midwife and GP know about your issues and don’t be fobbed off. I didn’t fight for help at the time and have regretted it ever since. Good luck OP.

Congratulations on your arrival of your baby!! I remember the early days of feeling like I'd been split in two, I sympathise. Not read all the replies, but my midwife said about putting a pile of books on the floor by the toilet, put your feet up on them when you (try to) poo so your knees are up higher and your bum lower. Gravity kind of takes over (sorry!) and I remember it did make things easier. That and sitting on a swimming ring (but not on the toilet, that would be a bit dangerous! ).

You'll feel better by the time baby is about 16yrs old...! Just joking, you'll heal soon. Sending you x

Sending hugs OP. I also had forceps and episiotomy and I can fully sympathise, so much so we won't be having a second DC. If it's any consolation when we got home from the hospital I full on shit myself as I walked through the front door and had to crawl up the stairs like gollum to sort it out, which got the first poo over and done with I suppose! I also weed myself loads to start with but it does get better, which doesn't help. But by 6 weeks my stitches had healed and we were ready to DTD. Warm baths we're my saviour, I had at least 3 a day and we're the only time I felt comfortable. Once the stitches are a bit more healed try dabbing with witch hazel to help soothe them and prevent infection. Really really feel for you right now but it will get better.

Hi OP has anyone recommended splinting whilst you poo? Use a pad of tissue or even a maternity pad and press where your stitches are as you push the poo out. You may even need to use another one opposite to work against too. You'll feel like you're delivering your baby again but it will help you. Congratulations on your new baby. X

@Namechanger001 I genuinely thought that said sprinting at first and was thinking 😳😳 I can barely walk 😂

@PinguForPresident I hope you don't mind me asking and please anyone jump in if you know the answer! I've been given blood thinning injections for 10 days but no one really explained why I need them? My dh thinks they said something to me when I was in recovery about it being because I lost a lot more blood than they would have liked and I do remember them discussing at one point during the whole thing whether or not I need a transfusion but I don't understand why the blood thinners would be needed now?

Thanks in advance!!

And thank you again so much to everyone who has commented :-) I don't know if you want a tmi update but if I ever poo again I'll let you all know 😂😂😂😂

@boredaloneandwaiting they are either to prevent clotting or encourage it, can't remember which haha but even though they sting worth completing the 10 days.

OP: everyone is scored for VTE risk ante-and post-natally and there's loads of different risk factors that you're assessed on.

In my Trust if you hit 3 risk factors (or 1 higher risk factor) you get those blood-thinning injections you mentioned. Risk factors include being over 35, being a smoker, having your 3rd or subsequent baby, raised BMI, having bad varicose veins. There's loads of them. When you see your community midwife, ask her which risk factors you hit. V common to have them.

@PinguForPresident thank you :-) I'm a 29 year old non smoker and my bmi was 31 (🙈) at 38 weeks so I am curious as to why I have them 🧐 I will definitely ask :-) I hope I actually get a midwife today as I'm out of hospital area and they haven't been great at passing info on so far 😳 do you think my gp midwife would mind if I gave her a call regarding stool softeners etc? I don't want to bother her but would like to speak to someone today!

Call her - what’s the worst that can happen? She says “can’t help”? Genuinely my go midwife wanted to see the baby after I’d given birth as she’d looked after me throughout pg so wanted to see the result 😂

Do you have a phone number for the Community Midwives covering your area? In my Trust it's on the front of your post-natal notes. Did they say when you'd be getting a home visit? We visit all women on thier first day at home. It might be worth calling back to the post-natal ward at the hospital you delivered at to see if they can put you in touch with the Community Midwives.

Did the MW at your GP look after you throughout the pregnancy? I'm sure she'd be happy to speak to you, but you might need to wait for a break in her clinic for her to call you back.

Midwife just turned up haha all good :-)

Checked my stitches and said they are fine so I just need to get pain relief sorted and get taking some lactulose :-) she said I need to stop being harsh on myself and realise I just gave birth three days ago 🙈

Anyway she complimented my bf and how healthy baby is so I'm currently feeling like super woman (a slower version!)

I ended up having to send DP to the shop for a home enema kit for my first post-birth poo. And hold a cold sanitary towel under me to support the stitches while I did it. Hideous and undignified but it was a big relief..... and did get much easier from then onwards.

Lactulose isn’t a great remedy tbh. It’s very mild and can take ages to work. And if you’re badly bungled up at the bottom end it won’t even soften that.

My advice? Movicol. A much more effective softener. Plus glycerine suppositories to soften up the blockage. The last thing you need is a massive hard poo busting your stitches.

Both can be bought OTC or obtained from your GP on prescription, but the former will be quicker.

Definitely try raising your feet so your in a more squatted position. I was so scared to poo with the stitches and after 4 days and belly ache I tried this (plus a warm flannel) and it worked. I felt as well because of the position I wasn't going to tear the stitches.

You are super woman!

Congratulations on your beautiful new baby and good luck with everything

Congratulations on your new baby op!

I had 60 stitches and a ventouse birth so I get exactly where you're coming from. I promise it will pass. Your DH sounds lovely. Good luck OP

i think my first poo was more painful than giving birth!! Ended up having a stick up your bum tablet to help things along. made sure i was alone and screamed and shouted as loud as i needed - the relief was immense and nothing after was as painful.

Lactulose is good - really helped that first poo. I had so many problems pooing after my baby (episiotomy and forceps), I was on laxatives for months and basically ruined my arse so please speak to your midwife/go if you are still having problems in a week or so.

I once walked to the kitchen and promptly pissed myself. Didn't even know I needed to go. Mortifying but only happened once. Still can't cough with confidence though!

Congratulations on your baby OP.