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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask where in Kent/SE to move for better schools & nicer families?

153 replies

Corblimeyguvnor1 · 30/06/2019 20:50

NC for this - because I’ve spoken to lots of friends about it so it’s a bit outing.

We live in Bexley, an 11+ area and I have one child in yr 4 and one in yr 1. The non-grammars aren’t great (though many parents swear they’re better than their results/ofsteds suggest) and I’m not thrilled about my kids having to go through the whole process.

Also, although a lot of my children’s friends are lovely as are lots of my mum friends and I feel like we’re all quite similar - decent jobs, good education, similar parenting styles and outlooks - mostly the area does generally seem to be populated with the kind of people/kids I don’t really want me or my kids to associate with. For example I went to a kids’ party the other day with my younger child (I don’t know his class and the parents as well as my older child’s) nearly every mum had the identikit lip fillers, orange skin, mahogany caterpillar eyebrows look. They were swearing within earshot of their children and all spoke with that awful, lilting “asking a question” tone of voice. I tried to talk to one of the mums and in passing mentioned Brexit and she said she “doesn’t really take any notice of all that politics shit”. I feel like these parents are becoming more and more typical of the area.

Also Bexleyheath is bloody awful but being the local town, that’ll be where my kids want to hang out when they’re teens.

My children would be devastated if we moved them away but I think we really need to consider it.

I’m sure some posters will call me a snob but AIBU to consider moving somewhere a bit less, well, chavvy (there, I said it!). And where in the SE could I move to that’s a nice area/community, decent commute to London, good schools and no bloody 11+?

OP posts:
Helpmedecide123 · 30/06/2019 20:52

If you are asking where to find good secondaries outside the grammar system then Bromley borough perhaps?

Beebeezed · 30/06/2019 20:53

Hope you’re ready to be flamed

herculepoirot2 · 30/06/2019 20:54

If you don’t know, you might not belong there... Personally I wouldn’t want someone so judgmental moving into my neighbourhood. Lowers the tone.

Floralnomad · 30/06/2019 20:54

Well Kent is all 11+ so please move somewhere else .

NCforthis2019 · 30/06/2019 20:55

Tin hat on OP.

Deadheadstickeronacadillac · 30/06/2019 20:59

Do you have boys or girls?
The town I live in has amazing girls comp, but the boys one is truly awful.

Corblimeyguvnor1 · 30/06/2019 21:00

Ok, yes, tin hat on but do the people I describe really sound nice to you??

Also - the racism here is rife - I’ve had so many incidents where I’ve had casual conversations with people I barely know and they’ve quite comfortably said something racist and clearly just assumed I’m of the same mindset!!!

OP posts:
Corblimeyguvnor1 · 30/06/2019 21:00

I have a boy and a girl.

OP posts:
ThanosSavedMe · 30/06/2019 21:02

Come in closer to London. Nunhead, Brockley, Catford all have some really lovely areas

user1471449295 · 30/06/2019 21:03

Sevenoaks

MrsBertBibby · 30/06/2019 21:04

Medway is 11+ too.

Corblimeyguvnor1 · 30/06/2019 21:07

I hadn’t considered closer to London, actually - was thinking more rural. But worth a look, thank you.

So if not Kent, where? Surrey?

OP posts:
AuntyMarysBigRedPants · 30/06/2019 21:08

It's all about the 11 + in kent, tut tut OP do your homework

Thenextnamechange · 30/06/2019 21:09

Where do you need to commute/travel to? Budget? Kent is grammar system so heading north to Essex or west to Surrey might be a good bet.

PlatoAteMySnozcumber · 30/06/2019 21:09

I know the area well and know exactly what you mean. As pp have said, avoiding the 11 plus in Kent is tricky, it is very much one of the county’s selling points and am pretty sure Bromley is included in this.

If you genuinely don’t want to go through the 11 plus process or are pretty sure your children won’t pass, you need to move across to Surrey or more into London. If you go a bit further out in Kent you get away from the other things you are referring to, but longer journey time to London and the education position remains the same.

MrsBertBibby · 30/06/2019 21:09

East Surrey. Not as pricey as most of Surrey. Bits are Zone 6. Comprehensive schools are fine. If you buy just over the border in the outer bits of LBCroydon, you even skip paying astronomical Surrey council tax and get reasonable services.

Mind you, your kids might go hang out in Croydon!

Ionacat · 30/06/2019 21:10

Away from Kent, East Hampshire has great schools, comprehensive schools (no grammars at all) and good links to London.

MrsBertBibby · 30/06/2019 21:12

Of course, if you live in Surrey everyone will feel licensed to hate you Grin

MojoMoon · 30/06/2019 21:12

Brighton?
Some good schools, liberal politics, proper choice of things to do?

Sounds like you need to be in a proper town/city and not the burbs.

What about moving to actual London? Good comprehensive schools in Hackney or Muswell Hill, plenty of liberal parents.

MrsBertBibby · 30/06/2019 21:13

LBSutton is also grammar system, btw.

Corblimeyguvnor1 · 30/06/2019 21:14

Sorry, I do know that the whole of Kent is11+ but I guess I was just stupidly hoping they’re might be areas that had better non-grammars but obviously they’re all in the same boat.

Plato, do you mind me asking where you are?

OP posts:
HazelBite · 30/06/2019 21:15

Hertfordshire?
Full of good schools, easy commute to London.... St Albans, Harpenden, Watford, Tring

Corblimeyguvnor1 · 30/06/2019 21:15

I like the sound of liberal parents 😁

OP posts:
GinaLolabridgetoofar · 30/06/2019 21:16

I've done a quick NC to respond to this because I live in the same area as you OP. I've lived here over 50 years and Bexleyheath was lovely once upon a time but the whole area - Bexleyheath, Erith, Northumberland Heath etc - is becoming a right shithole. OP is just being honest in her description believe me!

Eliza9919 · 30/06/2019 21:18

Lolz don't move to hackney for the schools.

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