To ask where in Kent/SE to move for better schools & nicer families?

[Corblimeyguvnor1]

NC for this - because I’ve spoken to lots of friends about it so it’s a bit outing.

We live in Bexley, an 11+ area and I have one child in yr 4 and one in yr 1. The non-grammars aren’t great (though many parents swear they’re better than their results/ofsteds suggest) and I’m not thrilled about my kids having to go through the whole process.

Also, although a lot of my children’s friends are lovely as are lots of my mum friends and I feel like we’re all quite similar - decent jobs, good education, similar parenting styles and outlooks - mostly the area does generally seem to be populated with the kind of people/kids I don’t really want me or my kids to associate with. For example I went to a kids’ party the other day with my younger child (I don’t know his class and the parents as well as my older child’s) nearly every mum had the identikit lip fillers, orange skin, mahogany caterpillar eyebrows look. They were swearing within earshot of their children and all spoke with that awful, lilting “asking a question” tone of voice. I tried to talk to one of the mums and in passing mentioned Brexit and she said she “doesn’t really take any notice of all that politics shit”. I feel like these parents are becoming more and more typical of the area.

Also Bexleyheath is bloody awful but being the local town, that’ll be where my kids want to hang out when they’re teens.

My children would be devastated if we moved them away but I think we really need to consider it.

I’m sure some posters will call me a snob but AIBU to consider moving somewhere a bit less, well, chavvy (there, I said it!). And where in the SE could I move to that’s a nice area/community, decent commute to London, good schools and no bloody 11+?

I was born in Welling many years ago and loved the close links to London especially when I started working there.

I can’t speak about what its like now, but I would say different areas have different issues, I’ve lived at Kings Hill in West Malling and hated it as I found a lot of the residence were more upper class and I had nothing in common with them and then there were other residence who tried to pretend they were upper class but come from similar areas that I came from but were in denial about it they were the worst.

In the end I moved to Norfolk lovely place and the children have thrived.

Here is a 4 bed close to warlingham and Riddlesdown secondaries, where you have an extraordinary view, and park IN YOUR OWN ROOF!!!!!

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-81151883.html

I grew up in Bexley and am happy to have left. We are now in East Surrey and, as others have suggested, it might fit the bill for you. Decent schools, reasonable commute now southern have stopped striking and I have yet to see an orange person with caterpillar brows locally. It's still a bit Brexity and I preferred living in more central London, but as a place to bring up kids within a reasonable commute of London, it's not bad.

Property should be within your price range too, eg www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/51864192?search_identifier=6ba4dda7ce8fed46aeafe111ad3c46fb

Someone up thread mentioned Oxted, which I would avoid like the plague as the school at the minute is awful. There's time for it to change of course.

Sevenoaks is a good place to live, but expensive and competition for non grammar schools is high. Knole is a good school, as is trinity although that's all girls. But if you live too far out of Sevenoaks you're risking not getting a place at your first choice. A little bit further out is Edenbridge and you'd get a lot of house for your money there compared to Sevenoaks, but the school situation is dire. There are still children who don't have a school place for September this year.

Have you thought about East Grinstead? Easy commute into London, couple of really good schools and generally a nice place to live.

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-72324883.html

This is in East Grinstead, well under your budget.

I know someone who moved to Redhill, Surrey specifically to maximise chances of good school places. Not researched the area myself but I'd trust their judgement enough that it seems like a good idea to look around there.

East Grinstead traffic is hell on wheels, though.

Is that problem in Edenbridge at primary or secondary?

Bromley. Just make sure you move very close to one of the mixed comps (Hayes?) or the Langleys ( single sex, one of each).

Have nothing to add, as a northerner, but the house with a garage in the roof is just fantastic and bizarre in equal measure.

OP - Just because an area has the 11+ system doesn't mean you have to put your child through it. You can just opt for them not to sit the tests. The Maidstone area has some excellent secondary schools.

And I wouldn't want to discuss Brexit at a children's party either!

Isn't it just, Unicorn? There's a row of about 10 of 'em. Never been inside one, but I would so want to install a fireman's pole for dramatic homecomings.

Another vote for Orpington area - the 11+ system is easily avoided (some people do enter their children for surrounding areas (Bexley, Kent) but there are very good primaries and comps, so why bother 🤷‍♀️)

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-82909571.html#_full-description

@MrsBertBibby primary school places are fine currently, but they've just built a massive new housing development and another is currently waiting on PP, with no intention of building another primary so it won't always be that way.

The issue is with secondary, currently their nearest school is Oxted, which is in Surrey and not a great school. It's the only school that they get free travel to, even though its not in the same county. The only chance of getting a place at a decent school is if you have a sibling there already and even that's not guaranteed anymore. I know of children who weren't offered any schools on their list, and were given a school in Cranbrook which would mean them leaving home just after 6, getting 2 trains and then a bus or a 20 minute walk. A few of them have got places at other schools via waiting list, several are still waiting on appeals and one girl who's mum didn't listen to advice and accept the place at Cranbrook is still without a school place. The LA have discharged their duty to offer her a place, and because she refused it they're not under any obligation to find her another. Which is why it's so important to accept the place you're offered, even if you don't want it! You can always appeal or go on waiting lists, but if you decline it you're sort of stuck!

Hi OP I don't know what sort of budget you have but places like St Albans and Guildford are very expensive.

Hampshire might fit the bill, schools are all comprehensives and many achieve better results than some of the grammar schools in Kent do. And some areas voted remain, so not too Brexity/racist.

The Kent/East Sussex borders are incredibly pretty and have good schools, you could look at Wadhurst for example - Uplands Community school. But I don't know about house prices there.

A PP has already suggested Tunbridge Wells, but if you're prepared to go a little further out and into East Sussex, a lot of the villages near the Kent/Sussex border are lovely and have good schools, some have surprisingly good rail links, too. Crowborough town centre is ok and there are some terrific areas on the outskirts.

If you don't mind a longer commute, Battle or even Rye might suit.

Closer to London, Oxted might be worth a look. My SIL lives there, and speaks very highly of the schools (she has Y10 and Y7 boys and and girl in Y5), it has a nice town centre with a decent range of shops and trains to Victoria or St Pancras International are under an hour. Fake tans and brows aren't much in evidence but Boden and White Stuff seem disproportionately represented.

Again in Sussex, Lewes might well suit. Very pretty, with a similar liberal/Green/alternative thing to Brighton but without the crowds and crime. The trains share the congested London/Brighton line though, and I don't know what the schools are like (there's one secondary in Lewes itself, but some kids go out of town to secondaries in 2 nearby villages, Ringmer and Chailey).

Can't believe nobody has mentioned the Tenterden/Cranbrook/ Goudhurst areas

Tenterden is lovely - when we lived in Ashford I wanted to live there, but it only works if you don't have to commute (or don't mind driving to the station (Headcorn?) and paying extortionate parking charges).

I second Surrey. Dorking is a lovely market town. Or Reigate. Guildford great but expensive.

I live in t Wells. The schools are all pretty good - st Greg's and SKA both outstanding (Ofsted). Obviously the grammars are good. Trains to London are good but expensive.

Well, who doesn't want to park on their own roof! Lots of posts for me to catch up on here and areas to look at, thank you.

Can I just clarify - I don't aim to strike up conversations with strangers about politics at kids' parties! She just happened to mention something about the news and I said something or other like, "Oh, well, the news is just all about Brexit at the moment anyway" and that's when she declared Brexit and politics etc to be a 'load of shit' that she's not interested in.

Can I just ask - what’s so crazy about the +11’s?

Warlingham. Zone 6, walking distance to statiins on 2 lines (Caterham and East Grinstead. Good schools (Warlingham and Riddlesdown) and primaries (Whyteleafe) . Close to massive open spaces in all directions. Nice village feel.

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-78150773.html

www.compare-school-performance.service.gov.uk

Not sure if you’ve used the above website before, OP, but it’ll be your best friend for factual info about schools. I’ve checked out some of he options suggested above some are indeed worth moving for, others pretty average and some really really dire.

Look at the areas surrounding Lewisham for easy access to London Bridge and cannon st.

Ladywell, Oak, Forest Hill, Sydenham, Crystal Palace. All very close to areas with big parks and good schools.

I meant to add telegraph hill too

I think I may have deflected a politics conversation at a party by saying I wasn't interested. Small talk only at parties!

A bit mean about all the "orange" women. In fact no wonder people are tempted by Brexit and its proponents when people feel quite justified in looking down on what are probably just ordinary working people, when they would never dream of criticising other demographics (who no doubt have their "chavvy" aspects in their own way).

That being said, we all want to stick with our own tribe, and so probably a few day trips to hang around schools and eyeball the type of mum outside would be a good idea. Bear in mind, though, that under the "liberal" appearance, more middle-class parents are seething with competitiveness and one-uppersonship...