To ask where in Kent/SE to move for better schools & nicer families?

[Corblimeyguvnor1]

NC for this - because I’ve spoken to lots of friends about it so it’s a bit outing.

We live in Bexley, an 11+ area and I have one child in yr 4 and one in yr 1. The non-grammars aren’t great (though many parents swear they’re better than their results/ofsteds suggest) and I’m not thrilled about my kids having to go through the whole process.

Also, although a lot of my children’s friends are lovely as are lots of my mum friends and I feel like we’re all quite similar - decent jobs, good education, similar parenting styles and outlooks - mostly the area does generally seem to be populated with the kind of people/kids I don’t really want me or my kids to associate with. For example I went to a kids’ party the other day with my younger child (I don’t know his class and the parents as well as my older child’s) nearly every mum had the identikit lip fillers, orange skin, mahogany caterpillar eyebrows look. They were swearing within earshot of their children and all spoke with that awful, lilting “asking a question” tone of voice. I tried to talk to one of the mums and in passing mentioned Brexit and she said she “doesn’t really take any notice of all that politics shit”. I feel like these parents are becoming more and more typical of the area.

Also Bexleyheath is bloody awful but being the local town, that’ll be where my kids want to hang out when they’re teens.

My children would be devastated if we moved them away but I think we really need to consider it.

I’m sure some posters will call me a snob but AIBU to consider moving somewhere a bit less, well, chavvy (there, I said it!). And where in the SE could I move to that’s a nice area/community, decent commute to London, good schools and no bloody 11+?

@WhentheRabbitsWentWild er, so you’re accusing me of thinking I’m better than others while at the same time judging me for where I’m from?

I live quite close to Bexley and have grown up in Orpington/Petts Wood/ Bromley area. I've had absolutely no problems with the schools here, and being quite young (uni student) i've only come out of the schooling system a few years ago. There are many schools in this area, i've got many friends from many schools and i've never heard of any bad experiences! Really enjoyed my education too

Lots of areas mentioned on here I’ve never heard of - need to get researching!

Thanks @megs910 Good to get a younger person/non-parent perspective.

We moved to Battle, East Sussex. Just our sort of place. Great non selective secondary. Train into London bridge. 20 mins to sea at Hastings or Bexhill. We have found normal friends!

Correction: Audley End gets into Liverpool St not Cannon St

Interesting thread. I grew up in Tunbridge Wells but now in Hampshire and I’m pleased we don’t have to worry about the 11+
Not an expert on your part of the county but friends who are still there have drifted to Wadhurst/Lamberhurst or gone private.

My part of Hampshire is lovely. 1 hr to London (Waterloo) great schools. Eye watering house prices though.

Winchester.
Alton.

Unfortunately I think most of the towns in North Kent have really gone downhill in recent years. We live in a town on the Thames, it's has grammars, and a few good secondary schools. I used to commute to lb and Cs or cx, before Ebbsfleet was available. You also get the commuter coaches. I'd try the villages around the main towns.

I grew up in Orpington, not sure what the schools are like now a days but I didn't go to a grammar school.
Trains into London Bridge,fast train is about 20 minutes if I recall.

Loads of ex Londoners down this way. One thing I've noticed though which pisses me off... loads of people privately educate for Primary, intensively tutor for 11 plus and then snap up the grammar places ie. transfer back into state system.

Whitstable is nice. It’s a beautiful town. A liberal left wing pocket in a sea of Conservative villages!. Lovely and mostly welcoming community although there is the odd ranting nutter on the local Facebook groups complaining about Londoners moving in. The local non-grammars are generally either already good or fast improving.

Canterbury has good non-grammars.

Husband is from Kent, got to be honest all the bits I've seen are as you describe. I think change county! As for the Grammar culture and 'Medway Test' beyond that, it baffles me, people get so snooty about it but a lot of the grammars are no better than comps by me.

What about Sussex? Haywards Heath area good for commuting and no 11 plus to worry about?

Kent is where UKIP are based OP 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thanks you lot. Much more positive response on this than I expected!

I live within Thanet. Some great schools, some not so great. Same as anywhere I suppose. Lots of families here who have moved from London though so there must be something to draw them here! Broadstairs mainly as it's the 'naice' part of Thanet (I find it really snobby though tbh).

@SmiledWithTheRisingSun I know...and it used to be the home of the BNP and it sadly still shows...

I moved from Bexley to Dulwich last year.

I wouldn’t move back to Bexley (for all the reasons you’ve listed and probably more that you haven’t mentioned) but moving more central London hasn’t been easy as a family. I’d definitely move out further if I could move without disrupting the dc again.

I would love to move, it's so busy now, with more roads being built, the towns are dire, the only reason we're not moving is, the children are in good schools. We've decided to stay put until their education is sorted, then will move. I love the idea of Whitstable or Deal. By the coast, would be lovely.

What is your housing need and budget OP?

I moved from bexleyheath earlier this year ... not much help because it's 2 hours away from there!!

I would need a 4 bed (or a three with room to extend) and probably around £650k. Which rules out a lot of places I suppose.

I wish I’d thought about all this before I’d had kids. Or even when they were small. But I only ever seemed to consider each stage of their childhood as it came.