To ask where in Kent/SE to move for better schools & nicer families?

[Corblimeyguvnor1]

NC for this - because I’ve spoken to lots of friends about it so it’s a bit outing.

We live in Bexley, an 11+ area and I have one child in yr 4 and one in yr 1. The non-grammars aren’t great (though many parents swear they’re better than their results/ofsteds suggest) and I’m not thrilled about my kids having to go through the whole process.

Also, although a lot of my children’s friends are lovely as are lots of my mum friends and I feel like we’re all quite similar - decent jobs, good education, similar parenting styles and outlooks - mostly the area does generally seem to be populated with the kind of people/kids I don’t really want me or my kids to associate with. For example I went to a kids’ party the other day with my younger child (I don’t know his class and the parents as well as my older child’s) nearly every mum had the identikit lip fillers, orange skin, mahogany caterpillar eyebrows look. They were swearing within earshot of their children and all spoke with that awful, lilting “asking a question” tone of voice. I tried to talk to one of the mums and in passing mentioned Brexit and she said she “doesn’t really take any notice of all that politics shit”. I feel like these parents are becoming more and more typical of the area.

Also Bexleyheath is bloody awful but being the local town, that’ll be where my kids want to hang out when they’re teens.

My children would be devastated if we moved them away but I think we really need to consider it.

I’m sure some posters will call me a snob but AIBU to consider moving somewhere a bit less, well, chavvy (there, I said it!). And where in the SE could I move to that’s a nice area/community, decent commute to London, good schools and no bloody 11+?

@Snowdrop30 husband needs L Bridge/Cannon St

Train fare horrific from here though, Bexley was 'cheap' in comparison.

You can't generalise and say EVERY school in an area is bad. You'll hear people slating Medway and bigging up Tunbridge Wells for example, but Medway has some excellent schools and TWs has some dire ones. Just like any area. It's a mix wherever you go.

I’m from your neck of the woods OP, I say from, I moved here, by choice from around the M25. Ok, bexleyheath isn’t the greatest of town centres but lots of town centres are pretty identical - and every area has good and bad parts. Im also pretty much the opposite of the TOWIE vibe -
Do you mind us asking how old you are?

Did you grow up in Bexley OP?

@bored sure, I’m 40. True what you say about town centres...

@CJ201 I grew up in Medway

I live in Bexley, it's not that bad OP.....

Do you own your house or rent? If you own, You'll make a lot of money on your house in Bexley ( London market) and you will be able to get a great house down this way ( market is less crazy)

We were in a similar boat in terms of commuting necessities. The best option we found was commute to Cannon St from Audley End (easy bike from Saffron Walden). Top notch mixed state schools there, unlike most of Essex, friendly easy going town and pretty countryside. My friends who moved there are v happy.

@CJ201 I own.
@PeonyTruffle sorry, I don’t mean to offend fellow Bexley-dwellers. I just get a bit dismayed by the TOWIEness of some people around here.
Admittedly I am prone to bouts of “I’m failing my kids” paranoia which doesn’t help...

If husband need London Bridge then you could try Oxted, which has one large secondary, or Redhill/Reigate area (More hit and miss for secondary).

Have to comment that it seems harsh of you to partly judge people by their looks/style/make up etc!

But in response to your query I would say, there’s much nicer areas in SE London, I’d move into London though rather than out. I’m in Blackheath/Greenwich and it’s leafy and friendly, had a ‘village’ feel but is also liberal, interesting and central (Cutty Sark is Zone 2, other stations 3). Dulwich is also nice. I’m not mad on some parts of SE London, Bexleyheath, Eltham, Sidcup, Welling etc... you could move out to Bromley but it is a little bit boring IMO.

Bromley grammars are also super selective. So several non selectives are good. E.g. bullers girls, which also now has a boys. Ravenswood boys also good. Langley boys/girls also good but small catchment. Worth a closer look imo.

@swiftier I’d like to think I don’t judge people on looks but I’ve yet to meet an orange-skinned, marker-pen eyebrowed, lip-fillered person who doesn’t live up to the stereotype!

@Swiftier and yes, Blackheath is lovely but v pricey!

Get your house valued Op. Sevenoaks / Hildenborough/ Otford / Tonbridge / Tunbridge Wells sound like they may suit you.

Have you looked around Purley? Sanderstead and Woodmansterne in particular are both lovely. Quick trains to London Bridge, feels quite rural, no 11+ and great schools - Riddlesdown is outstanding. I live in the area and it's not TOWIE at all!

Wadhurst is also on the L Bridge line, it's just over the border from Kent into Sussex, and is meant to have cracking state schools. V pretty and Tunbridge Wells 15 mins away for shopping etc.

You sound a total snob, and teaching your children to look down on others is detestable tbh.

Can I ask what Folkestone is like now if anybody on the thread knows it? I grew up there, left in 1977. I hanker to go back to visit but fear that it won't be like when I was a young girl.

I always think of Kent in 'Darling Buds of May' tone and I'm sure it's not. Nowhere's like that anymore, is it?

Sorry to hijack with irrelevance!

Lol. Thinking you are better than others when you hail from Medway! And casually mentioning Brexit. How effected.

@2eternities bit strong. I talk to anyone and judge them on their ability to have a half intelligent conversation, be pleasant, not ignorant or racist. I don’t think they’re particularly high standards to have. Swear at your kids, refer to anyone who isn’t white in a derogatory way or dismiss politics as a “load of shit” and damn right, I won’t be rushing to be your friend. Unfortunately, the orange/eyebrow/lip filler brigade tend to live up to the stereotype but I’m happy to be proved wrong.

Other PPs, thanks for the area suggestions.

I've NC for this but I agree with you. I grew up here and the level of violence in Bexleyheath at school kick out time is awful. Never witnessed it myself as I'm too scared to go up there at that time but the posts on the local FB groups says it all. I'm determined to move before DC start secondary school so I'm following this with interest. Plus the amount of kids riding their bikes into oncoming cars is ridiculous.

That being said we just moved to Welling near a secondary school and I was expecting it to be hell but actually the children seem great and we have had no issues. A lot of the children seem more intimidating than they actually are.

My friends have secondary aged school children and go to Crown Woods which I hear is a really good school. They have had no issues so I think it has a lot to do with the parenting.

And YY to the racism. The amount I hear and see on FB is really sad.

I’ll second sarahb083’s suggestion of Purley or Sanderstead. Also Kelley and Whyteleafe. A lot of the areas to the south of Croydon are lovely, have good schools and fantastic transport links to London. Just avoid Croydon itself