To ask where in Kent/SE to move for better schools & nicer families?

[Corblimeyguvnor1]

NC for this - because I’ve spoken to lots of friends about it so it’s a bit outing.

We live in Bexley, an 11+ area and I have one child in yr 4 and one in yr 1. The non-grammars aren’t great (though many parents swear they’re better than their results/ofsteds suggest) and I’m not thrilled about my kids having to go through the whole process.

Also, although a lot of my children’s friends are lovely as are lots of my mum friends and I feel like we’re all quite similar - decent jobs, good education, similar parenting styles and outlooks - mostly the area does generally seem to be populated with the kind of people/kids I don’t really want me or my kids to associate with. For example I went to a kids’ party the other day with my younger child (I don’t know his class and the parents as well as my older child’s) nearly every mum had the identikit lip fillers, orange skin, mahogany caterpillar eyebrows look. They were swearing within earshot of their children and all spoke with that awful, lilting “asking a question” tone of voice. I tried to talk to one of the mums and in passing mentioned Brexit and she said she “doesn’t really take any notice of all that politics shit”. I feel like these parents are becoming more and more typical of the area.

Also Bexleyheath is bloody awful but being the local town, that’ll be where my kids want to hang out when they’re teens.

My children would be devastated if we moved them away but I think we really need to consider it.

I’m sure some posters will call me a snob but AIBU to consider moving somewhere a bit less, well, chavvy (there, I said it!). And where in the SE could I move to that’s a nice area/community, decent commute to London, good schools and no bloody 11+?

Bromley. Chislehurst is a nice area to live. Bromley has two good grammars and there's an excellent comp actually in Chislehurst.

Im in bexley and none of my friends are orange or have trouble discussing current affairs! I think you need to be more careful about who you socialise with!
Describe what you look like and that might make it easier to work out where you would fit in...

Still on the edge of London but I've got some recommendations. I'm in LB of Sutton, and whilst it's a grammar area, the comps are great too.

A very lovely area to live would be Cheam (nice shops and amenities, lovely parks, cricket, tennis and rugby clubs) etc

The local comp is Cheam High School which is co-ed, Ofsted outstanding and has high attainment. There's also the outstanding teaching school called Glenthorne (co-ed and especially good for arts). If you're interested in STEM subjects, there's the newly opened Harris Academy (still being built and first students started in 2018) and linked to the Royal Marsden with top-notch science provision.

If you'd prefer single sex schools, then over the boarder in Epsom they have the outstanding and high attaining Glyn (boys) and Roseberry (girls).

@Corblimeyguvnor1 that's exactly why we moved from Gillingham (my hometown, we were within two minutes of Priestfield) to Berkshire when DD was 6 months old, thinking we would be far better off.
I've hated it ever since and we've been here 13 years now. We just don't fit in or aren't allowed to.
Medway, I'm told, has gotten very bad since we left, it doesn't surprise me, as it was pretty bad then before austerity and Brexit, especially with racism and drugs. We actually had Nick Griffin come to our school during an election as if it was the most normal thing in the world (I'm 38 so was mid nineties).
But I wish we'd had gone somewhere nearby like Broadstairs or similar.
We looked at Folkestone about two years ago, it wasn't great either.
I've thought about Canterbury but then it's McDonald's was the most crime ridden in Kent including Medway and that put us off.

Another vote for London borough of Sutton here. Also great primaries since your children are still primary age. 11+ can be an option (Nonsuch, Wallington etc) but the high school comprehensives are v well regarded- see post above for names.
Cheam is great. Catchment for Cheam high is pretty tight I believe so worth researching.

Carshalton also has a nice feel (though I don't know about schools). I'd avoid Sutton town centre but the surrounding area is nice (and Sutton town centre is fine, it's got a Waterstones at least, a few coffee chains, and the cinema has been revamped... Although it's not particularly pretty it's useful and I'm glad it's there!).

@Rosti1981 What's this with Sutton bashing again The high street is very average (still very handy and actually quite a few independent coffee shops, restaurants and pubs towards the station). The residential areas are very green, clean, well maintained and there's lovely housing stock -especially in South Sutton for bigger budgets).

I actually do agree @Jojo and usually defend Sutton on any bashing threads. So I didn't mean to have a go! As I say, high street is fine/functional/useful, I wouldn't want to live right on it but that's more because I don't like high street shopping/ bars type areas full stop. And you don't have to go far to hit nice residential areas. South Sutton is posher than we could afford when we were looking to buy! Sorry if it sounded a bit bashy!

@SmiledWithTheRisingSun I know...and it used to be the home of the BNP and it sadly still shows...
I'm from the North but I know Paul Golding (Britain First) lives in Erith. There's nothing snobby about not wanting your children to grow up amongst that type.

I grew up there and ..... I completely understand. It's almost like at some point it will eat itself. As an adult I lived more into South London but once you have children the nightmare of schools starts. We were in an awful car cement and facing your dilemma I visited and researched loads of schools/areas etc. I also wanted to avoid 11+. We moved to a village with a lovely orange Mary school in East Sussex (in hindsight I'd have gone nearer the border with Kent because otherwise you fall into Hastings catchment) but my DC are now in a great non- selective secondary near Kent border. If you get over the Kent border to East Sussex there are some good non selective secondary schools with good commuter links.

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-82061498.html

Surrey is worth a look OP, if you fancied journeying out a bit further. I know there's a lot of Surrey haters out there but in the town where I live there are a lot of parents who've moved out from London (a lot of arty types!) and we're all very friendly. Woking/Guildford/Weybridge- all have well-performing state schools. Woking in particular has a fast train link to Waterloo.

would need a 4 bed (or a three with room to extend) and probably around £650k. Which rules out a lot of places I suppose.

I can’t comment on some of the places mentioned but you can buy a 4 bed in all of the places in Kent mentioned for that budget. House prices in Bexley have rocketed and while they have increased further out, you can get a nicer house in a nicer place due to the fact they are so much further out and commuting takes longer/ is more expensive. I imagine Essex and Sussex are not dissimilar.

If I were you, I would look at all the villages on the train lines for the station(s) DH needs for work and go from there.

The Canterbury area has a good variety of schools.

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/find.html?locationIdentifier=REGION%5E19767&insId=1&minPrice=550000&maxPrice=700000&minBedrooms=4&googleAnalyticsChannel=buying

Orpington/Petts Wood / Chislehurst/Bromley are in zones 5 & 6 with access to LV, LB & Charing X. You can be at the coast with in an hour or in London within 30 mins. Bromley has good primary schools & none selective comprehensive schools and Orpington & Petts Wood/ Chislehurst are not far from a few grammars.

Have a look at St Albans or Guildford and the surrounds. Both areas are high up in school rankings for private and state.

You’ll get a pasting but most people on here will know exactly what you mean and what you’re after instead. Demographics for a school intake do make a difference. In some areas, the state school parents will be solidly in the professional camp and in others not.

You will find HD brows, trout lips and frozen faces in Petts Wood but they have a bit more money than the tango women of Bexley! Money can't buy class or style it seems!

Can't believe nobody has mentioned the Tenterden/Cranbrook/ Goudhurst areas. Lovely place to live, houses within your budget, good schools and a decent commute. Lots of lovely villages of various sizes and the above mentioned small towns are great. A very different way of life to the Bromley/Bexley you have described. Yes there are a few trout pouts and fake tans but they seem to be across all walks of life these days.

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-62856900.html
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-62926635.html
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-62609127.html

@Corblimeyguvnor1
Would you consider NW London Mill hill, Hendon also Hampstead's nice but expensive.

I grew up here too, and I've worked in most of the secondary schools. Unless your child passes the 11+ I'm afraid you're very much left to swim with the rest. What used to be excellent secondary moderns are now academies with very poor educational attainment.

Parents are parents everywhere. I've yet to see anyone having a deep discussion on the merits of Brexit at the school gates (even the grammars).

I'm from the North but I know Paul Golding (Britain First) lives in Erith. There's nothing snobby about not wanting your children to grow up amongst that type. actually he lives in Swanley, which is Sevenoaks Borough. If it's any help, I've never seen him or come across any of his rallies. Erith is largely ethnic minorities, which is actually the reason your pseudo middle class whites look down on the 'ghettoes' - they don't actually want to live amongst them. Bexley Borough was a large dumping ground for migrants, Thamesmead is known as Little Lagos and has a large Somali population.

Bexley of course is one of the first 'white flight' enclaves, which expanded massively after WWII and the incoming Windrush generation. Those people have now cashed in their council houses and moved much further afield and populate Devon instead. Or as one of the local retailers said to me "when Plumstead moves over the border you know its time to move out " - Plumstead (Greenwich) being largely Asian and West African.

This is a Conservative borough, as is Bromley, we are one of the anomalous London Boroughs. Bromley is equally awful, just wealthier, they pay for their offspring to be bigoted.

Although to be fair, I am neither orange, have fillers , or ever mixed at the school gates. Bexley Village is nice, and it has the better of the two grammars, Sidcup goes in cycles and of course you have the Powerscroft Caravan Estate to contend with, and its schools are dire.

Another vote for West Kent. Sevenoaks/ Tonbridge/ Tunbridge Wells and surrounding. Avoid the Medway towns.

Why not look at Crystal Palace , Forest Hill or Sydenham SE London, 15 minutes to London more diverse communities, some bits quite gentrified but not as expensive as Dulwich or Blackheath, lots of professional families.

I don't get the hate about medway there are some lovely parts of it with some lovely houses for your budget. Rochester, Wigmore, Hempstead. Rainham has great schools both grammar and non selective. London within easy reach for work.

CJ201 Same here in Dorset ,Primary School for many children is private then onto the Grammars .Annoys me as poorer children who could benefit from this sort of Education dont benefit from it!

Friend moved to Erith. Went to visit and felt very uncomfortable. There were England flags all over the place and it wasn’t World Cup time. Strange part of the world.