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AIBU?

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Original poster

would you have your wedding on your birthday as a twin?

369 replies

Zipliner · 24/06/2019 08:11

my fiancé suggested that we have our wedding on my birthday and i am excited over this...
but my twin feels its unfair as our birthday would no longer take prominence within the family
if you were a twin would you consider this or should i just give this idea up?

OP posts:
Corkchester · 24/06/2019 08:12

Daft idea.

Snappedandfarted2019 · 24/06/2019 08:12

Personally I would pick another day especially when you have a twin.

WildIrishRose1 · 24/06/2019 08:12

I wouldn't. What was his reasoning for suggesting it?

LittleCandle · 24/06/2019 08:13

A friend had her wedding on her 21st and the marriage didn't last. She felt her birthday was spoiled as a result. I wouldn't anyway, but especially if I was a twin!

BummyKnocker · 24/06/2019 08:13

No, I'm a twin and I'd not do it.

BrillyPribble · 24/06/2019 08:14

I wouldn't have a wedding on my birthday anyway, I'd want them to be separate special occasions. And I certainly wouldn't do it on another family member's birthday, whether they were a twin or not.

cherryblossomgin · 24/06/2019 08:14

I would ask your twin first and see how they feel.

RuggerHug · 24/06/2019 08:14

It's ridiculous. What good reason could he have for it besides easier for him in the future to remember one date and anything you want to do on your birthday can be veto-d as 'it's my wedding anniversary too'.

NewAccount270219 · 24/06/2019 08:14

our birthday would no longer take prominence within the family

Does she mean for that one year, or forever? Because yes, one birthday would be overshadowed by your wedding day (is it a milestone birthday for you two?) but unless your family is considerably more into each others' anniversaries than mine it won't matter beyond that. DH and I got married on my birthday and it is still very much my birthday to my family (and everyone, including me and DH!)

Disfordarkchocolate · 24/06/2019 08:15

I'd be fine with it. When you're r married surely you'll be spending your birthday with your husband, not your twin. Also, most people don't do much for wedding anniversaries most years, if you have children you don't have the time, energy or money for a while.

curiositycreature · 24/06/2019 08:15

Unless it’s a big birthday I don’t get the big deal. (Or if for some reason your family would care about your subsequent anniversaries.) Having said that, she’s told you it bothers her, so I think you ought to respect that.

AyBeeCee10 · 24/06/2019 08:15

You have 364 other days to do it. A bit selfish to do it on a day that you share with your twin.

NewAccount270219 · 24/06/2019 08:16

Clearly I am going very much against the grain of the thread here (and we didn't deliberately plan to have a wedding on my birthday, it was just the only date the venue had available and we didn't see any issue with it) but I loved getting married on my birthday. But I didn't have a twin to consider.

Calic0 · 24/06/2019 08:17

I have to agree with @RuggerHug - is this so he only has to remember one date going forward? Otherwise I don’t really understand the rationale. That’s beside the point though - if your twin has expressed an issue with it then that is their prerogative and personally I wouldn’t do it and risk a family fallout when there are 364 other possibilities.

needsomesleepy · 24/06/2019 08:17

our birthday would no longer take prominence within the family

It doesn't anyway. You are both adults. It is just a birthday.

That said, you have 364 other days to choose.

IceRebel · 24/06/2019 08:18

You have 364 other days to choose from. Picking this day when your sister has already said she feels it would be unfair is just setting yourself up for family drama for no actual benefit.

LL83 · 24/06/2019 08:18

Means you will be celebrating anniversary instead of birthday so effectively losing birthday.
Even more important as also your twins birthday. Do you often celebrate together or as a family? Means you would miss out or twin would have to celebrate a different day. I wouldn't do it for yourself and for your twin.

Of course you know DP best but I question his motives is he trying to take over shared birthday?

bigbeans · 24/06/2019 08:18

I know a few couples who got married on on of the party's (it's always the wife funnily enough) bday and they're all divorced now! Doesn't bode well Grin

I'd want a completely separate day that way DH wouldn't get out of getting me a separate anniversary gift

MrMeSeeks · 24/06/2019 08:19

Choose another day.

NewAccount270219 · 24/06/2019 08:20

Means you will be celebrating anniversary instead of birthday so effectively losing birthday.

I genuinely find this is a very surprising attitude as I think a birthday is much more of a big deal than a wedding anniversary. If anything, DH and I lost a wedding anniversary by getting married on my birthday (but I know we'd have barely bothered with it anyway). Similarly (and I am now getting so outting!) his birthday is Valentine's Day, so we don't do Valentine's Day. A birthday just seems like a bigger deal than either of those, and we don't exactly go mad for our birthdays either.

Original poster
Zipliner · 24/06/2019 08:21

Does she mean for that one year, or forever? = ^^one year as my wedding is definetly next year
Because yes, one birthday would be overshadowed by your wedding day (is it a milestone birthday for you two?) = We are turning 40

but unless your family is considerably more into each others' anniversaries than mine it won't matter beyond that. = they are

DH and I got married on my birthday and it is still very much my birthday to my family (and everyone, including me and DH!) = this is my reasoning too

OP posts:
NewAccount270219 · 24/06/2019 08:22

I know a few couples who got married on on of the party's (it's always the wife funnily enough) bday and they're all divorced now! Doesn't bode well grin

Oh no, I'd better tell DH!

Every couple I know who divorced didn't get married on either of their birthdays...

AyBeeCee10 · 24/06/2019 08:22

So your dp and you want to go away every year for your anniversary, and your twin would like to see you on your birthday. Cant you see the complications that could come up.

IceRebel · 24/06/2019 08:22

We are turning 40

You only get one 40th, to deliberately choose to get married on this day is very unfair. She won't be able to celebrate with family as they will all be at your wedding.

MarthasGinYard · 24/06/2019 08:23

Why would you?

Pick another day