AIBU over what DC call their grandparents?

[AmericasDonkey]

I have 2 DC from a previous relationship, and a DC with my current partner. He also has a DC from a previous relationship.

My eldest DC call their grandmothers Nana and Grandma. My partner’s DC calls both their grandmothers Nanny (obviously this includes MIL). When I was pregnant, I said I didn’t want the baby to call MIL Nanny. Her other grandchildren call her Grandma, and I’d have liked our DC to do the same. I find the term Nanny a bit too cutesy. I know lots of people love it, it’s just not for me!

My partner has completely ignored my wishes and insists that MIL is Nanny. Our DC is starting to talk and I’m dreading when they’ll start calling MIL Nanny because that’s what my partner has taught them. AIBU?

“I almost never heard it when I lived in London but it seems to be the norm in the Midlands”

You didn’t really know London did you?

I'm not sure it really matters.

Both my kids grandmothers (so my mam and mil) wanted to be called Grandma. I thought it might be a bit confusing but went with it anyway. When dd was 2 she solved the confusion by referring to my mam as Grandma Precious as mam always called dd 'Precious'.

Actually, I can’t decide which is more “not quite” - “nanny” as a word for grandmother or “hired help”- particularly when referring to the children’s Nanny........

Does it actually matter?

What a very weird comment, @passthecherrycoke.

I worked in SE London schools for ten years and fairly regularly heard secondary school students talk about and address their grandmothers. Pretty much universally they used 'Nan'. I've since moved to the Midlands and students of the same age commonly use 'Nanny'. I wasn't making any grand claims about the sociolects of London teenagers, just making an anecdotal observation.

@AmericasDonkey , I think you have been getting a hard time here.

Who cares about class? It's just preference and some of us hate the word "nanny"!! Me included.

So yes in your shoes, I would be frustrated because it would grate on me forever more that my child used that word but due to her half siblings, you are in a sticky situation.

If you had had an agreement with your husband then I think it is mean of him to go against that with no discussion. I think your only hope is to bring it up with him properly and also ask the woman in question if she would mind another name to be called by your child.

Don't give up yet .

YABU and sound very controlling. Relax

I think grandparents get to choose the name they are called.

And the OP is...where?

Secondary children will say 'Nan'.

They're far too cool to use 'Nanny' past the age of 10!!

We had Nanny & Granddad Smith. Nanny Smith didn't have a paid nanny when she was a girl; she and her sister had a Nurse - then a Governess before they were duly packed off with their trunks on a steamer to Finishing School.

Yippee they get to Nan as a shortened version of Nanny. Like they get to Mum. All my aunties and cousins on my mum’s side are Nanny, as were their mums. They hail from New Cross to Brixton. I expect times have changed as those areas have become more gentrified.

I get it can be annoying. I get annoyed that my husbands two step fathers insist on being called Grandad. My dad is Grandad, so there are now three grandads in the mix. Two of which are not blood relatives! It’s ridiculous in my opinion and it does annoy me.

Unless your ILs want to be called a variant of mum and dad, yabu to dictate. Kids do what they want usually anyway.
Anyone who avoids 'nanny' on the grounds that it is too working class 'cutesie' is fooling themselves if they believe they are convincing anyone they are really MC/UC.

YippieKayakOtherBuckets Nan and nanny are the same name- like mum and mummy, the shortened version is just the one you use when you get older.

Your original post sounded like Londoners all used gran/ granny/ granma (as that’s what the post is about) whereas your hoddlums in the uncivilised midlands were all working class nan users.

My parents chose Grandma & Pops. PILS
are Nanny and grandad. We also have my dads mum who wanted to be Nanny. I love that they have so many people that love them. I don't care how they wish to be called.

This is definitely the weirdest argument I have ever let myself get drawn into on MN

Interesting that people think Granny sounds ancient. If that’s the case I’ll settle for irony. We were going to go for Oma if either of the others wanted Granny.

I had a 'nanny'.

To differentiate from my other nanny she was aka 'Scotch' nanny. As a child I always thought it was because she was from Scotland, now I'm more sure it is because she liked more than just a tipple! 😂😂😂

I would say it's up to your MIL what the grandchildren call her

Unicorn you are quite wrong. You are as common as muck

Apparently so...

No GC as yet but my DB has several. His DC call them by location. Grandpa town, Grandpa (place).

I like the Nordic way of doing it so it's morma and morfa for the mother's parents and forma and forfa for the father's. But presumably some will be both forma and morma!

Most of us got round it in our family by using first names. I hope any GC I have do that!

Ds had two grandmas - one ended up being Little Tiny Grandma. This was MIL. My Mother was 5 foot 2 and pretty slim - she was "Big Grandma" - she just laughed - Nanny or Nanna is utterly fine . I am pretty sure in this day and age any child with a nanny as in looking after you as a job , would call the nanny by their name.

So I do not think Nanna or Nanny is a class thing necessarily. Nor is Granny . Any name which a grandchild chooses do call their grandmother is fine - so My father said - can I be grandad - DFIL was Grandpa - both grandmas were big grandma or little grandma - Nanna can be a lovely name for those who looked after you also after previous generations - just a name you use. My mil ( so not my Ds's grandparent , mine ) wanted to be Nanna to differentiate her from Grandma For the avoidance of doubt I wan't brought up in Downton abbey but nicely done - All grandparents names work well if the grandchild loves them

Nanna is usually used by working class and granny by middle and upper classes.