AIBU over what DC call their grandparents?

[AmericasDonkey]

I have 2 DC from a previous relationship, and a DC with my current partner. He also has a DC from a previous relationship.

My eldest DC call their grandmothers Nana and Grandma. My partner’s DC calls both their grandmothers Nanny (obviously this includes MIL). When I was pregnant, I said I didn’t want the baby to call MIL Nanny. Her other grandchildren call her Grandma, and I’d have liked our DC to do the same. I find the term Nanny a bit too cutesy. I know lots of people love it, it’s just not for me!

My partner has completely ignored my wishes and insists that MIL is Nanny. Our DC is starting to talk and I’m dreading when they’ll start calling MIL Nanny because that’s what my partner has taught them. AIBU?

But she is already Nanny to her other grandchildren, the siblings of your baby so the way I see it Nanny is already her name and you don't have a say in it

Yabu. It should be same name as the siblings use.

I really can’t see why anyone would get worked up about this it’s such a non issue .

Even if you both decided that your baby will use this 'new' name, your little child is most likely to copy their siblings and use the term they do. Your partner's mum is probably used to this name too and is likely to forget herself if there is just the one using this name. It may well get a bit confused between the siblings and the grandmother all trying to use the different names between them.

Nanny's are paid, grandmothers are relatives. I agree with you op. I do think it's a class thing though and you will have to humour it.

It up to MIL and DC to decide really not you, sorry.

I do think it's a class thing though and you will have to humour it.

Alas, this is the risk one takes when one jilts a marquess for a footman.

I asked my in laws what they wanted to be called. Lets call them Susan and Keith. They looked at my like i’d grown an extra head and said “Susan and Keith”. I asked if they wouldn’t rather prefer Gran or Grandad or something. They looked like i’d just suggested ritualised cat murder for an evening’s entertainment.

So there we are - perfectly loving grandparents, just with a naming choice i’d never have suggested. But they are happy and DC is happy, i just have to suck it up.

I asked my DM and MIL what they wanted to be called.

DD called my grandmother Nan and she calls DH’s Grandmother Nana. My DM is Nanny and MIL is Grandma. It helps that they are all different as everyone knows who we are referring to.

Asking them was the important bit though. It wasn’t about what I wanted. No one has ever called me anything other than mummy to DD but she still calls me Mama.

What does MIL want your DC to call her?

How about shortening it to Nan, ASAP.

My parents lets call them Julie and John are grandjulie and grandjohn MIL was grandma and when her own mother died now wants to be granny. I had no say in the matter.

My daughter has already asked me what I want to be called when my first grandchild arrives in a few months. Having chosen, I can't see how her sister can ask me to be anything different to her children when they arrive.
As has been said, your child will copy its siblings, whatever you want them to call their grandparent.

I had a Nannie and grandad.
My children had a Nannie and grandad
So we are clearly lower class. who knew?

Yabu. What a strange battle hill to die on. They can call her Nanny if they want.

My mum refused to allow Nan/ Nanna/ Nanny because she was obsessively aspiring to be middle class 😂

I think you should go with whatever the grandparents prefer.

I think it is up to MIL to decide what she prefers to be called.

FWIW I think Nanny or Nana then later Nan. Makes more evolutionary sense as english speaking babies will have D,M and N amonst thier first constants. Interstingly the Italian is Nonnie

Lol. I am ‘Nana’ to all 8 of my grandchildren, I chose it. I love it. It’s easy for them to say.

I thought that the rule was the grandparent gets to choose. Far better but if one child in the household is already saying nanny that makes sense

Consonants bloody spell check.

My Nan was Nanny to me, then Nan as I got older, my great grandmother was Grandma, my Mum is Nana to my DS(2yrs).

I am Mama and his father is Dada.

We are anything but what some here would call lower or working class my lineage would wipe the floor with most here who class themselves as upper class/upper middle-class.

But generally those who refer to class or are concerned by it, you tend to find have none of it 🤷

Baby should use the same name as his/her siblings.

We let them choose and both wanted to be grandma 😂 one already was anyway so we put the first names on afterwards to make it easier. Sadly we don't need to differentiate anymore as ds lost a grandma at ten months and he started calling the other one by a pet name. But it should always be their choice but if there are children already calling her by one name i think it would be a little unfair to expect a different name

Nanny's are paid, grandmothers are relatives.
Said like a true stuck up M/C snob