AIBU over what DC call their grandparents?

[AmericasDonkey]

I have 2 DC from a previous relationship, and a DC with my current partner. He also has a DC from a previous relationship.

My eldest DC call their grandmothers Nana and Grandma. My partner’s DC calls both their grandmothers Nanny (obviously this includes MIL). When I was pregnant, I said I didn’t want the baby to call MIL Nanny. Her other grandchildren call her Grandma, and I’d have liked our DC to do the same. I find the term Nanny a bit too cutesy. I know lots of people love it, it’s just not for me!

My partner has completely ignored my wishes and insists that MIL is Nanny. Our DC is starting to talk and I’m dreading when they’ll start calling MIL Nanny because that’s what my partner has taught them. AIBU?

We've only ever had grannies in our family. Both my grandmothers were Granny and there wasn't even a discussion about what my mother would be called. We all just assumed, us and her, that she'd be Granny. And Granny she is.

But expecting a child to call their grandmother a different name to the one their siblings use seems silly and divisive. Plus near on impossible to police. Children like to emulate the big kids.

Yes really. Nannies is the plural of nanny.

My ex-mil has other gc who called her g-nan (Great Nana ), and that's what was decided my gc (then 3 ish. now 7 yrs) would call her. Once it was explained to them, they just called her Great old Nana, we all thought that was lovely!

I used to really hate being called grandma (I'm Nana!), so my dc used to say it to wind me up!
So one day I said
'Oh that's the most wonderful and beautiful thing to be called, I am so proud to be a grandma.!
Funnily enough they don't call me that nowadays!

My mum, much as I love her, is a real Hyacinth Bucket type. She didn't get the memo about U and non-U though and referred to herself as 'Nanny' for about the first 12 years of being a grandparent. I then let slip that 'Nanny' was seen by many people as being rather working class. Literally overnight she started insisting that my children call her 'Granny' The really weird thing though, is that she absolutely refuses to accept that she used to be called 'Nanny'. According to her she's always been called 'Granny'. Never mind that they've got birthday cards where she's signed herself Nanny, I'm misremembering. Totally bonkers!

OP, I honestly don't think it's worth the battle with your partner and I also think that it's a bit much to dictate what your child calls his mum.

at your mum, @Reallybadidea. What a nutter. Meant respectfully of course!

My mum HATES the word grandma if my LO called her grandma in the future (he's only 6 months) she would go mad! She says it makes younger grandparents sound old so my mum is known as nanny as requested and I'm certainly not one to argue with my mum lol

Nannys or nannies as plural. Nanny’s when referring to her handbag.

Why do you care?! YABU

I'm Granny. I'm Scottish, we're all Grannies. 😊 My DGC also have a Nana, she's English. I never thought of it as a class thing, more cultural.

My m’n’law wanted to be called Nanny - I hated it because it reminds me of a nanny goat and in London where we lived at time - Nanny was the hired help!
But she insisted and she had a right to - yabu - your m’n’law should be allowed to call herself what she wants.

Sorry- I thought nannys was an alternative plural- it isn’t. Nannies. Never nanny’s

“never thought of it as a class thing, more cultural”
You’d be super posh in England as a granny!

I think you must know you are being unreasonable.

Seriously Let it go.

Yes we know Bertrand, already covered that's it is not nanny's as plural thanks

@FiddleFaddleDingDong

My mum's delusions of grandeur are a family joke To be fair, she is a loving and devoted Nanny Granny

My mother gets called Nanny and I think MIL does too. It matters not a jot what they’re called to me. I think my mum did state a preference early on but I’m afraid it’s long forgotten now 🤭

Both ex MIL and my mum were already Nana's before our DCs were already born (older grand children) so that was already decided for us.

Our kids have a much closer relationship with my parents for a variety of reasons so they call my mum Nana and Ex MIL 'nana in x (location of where they live) when referring to her, obviously not to her face!

I don't really care!

My dad, his grandchildren have always called him is nickname and FIL was dead was long before DCs were born.

My Mum requested Gran. GC1 called her Nanny. GC2 called her Nan. There's no persuading either of them otherwise. They use what they're comfortable with and feels natural for them to call her. I'd feel pretty sad to have to correct them if it didn't suit.

It is all a bit OTT really. I didn't care what my grandchildren called their grandparents. I have one daughter who calls my father grandpa and my other child calls him granddad. They call both grandmothers nanny /nan. My mother was adamant she was not going to be called a granny grunt!

It is all a bit OTT really. I didn't care what my children called their grandparents. I have one daughter who calls my father grandpa and my other child calls him granddad. They call both grandmothers nanny /nan. My mother was adamant she was not going to be called a granny grunt! I quite like granny so I won't be fussed about it if and when I become a grandparent.

I call my Grandma, Grandma. My partner calls his Nan. When we had our son we let each grandparent pick whatever they would be happy with being identified as & therefore our son has both a Grandma & a Nan. It's not what he has to call me so I was happy for those who would be called it to decide what they would like to be called.

Wouldn't it be weird for DH's children to call the same woman different things?

I chose Grandad for my dad. My dd (9) decided she would call him Grampy, even though no one else does. It really doesn't matter. What does matter is they love each other and spend time together.

Surely if they’re not the first grandchild then they’ll call the grandparent whatever their siblings or cousins call them?

My mother has 7 children. She is known as 3 different names - no issues
MIL has 6 grandchildren and 2 different names - no issues

No different to my mum calling me a nickname and DH a pet name and mum of coarse to the kids - oh and I actually have a real name that work use or a short version cousins use

YABU , it's not your name