MIL from Hell, like she's actually a Demon

[FirstTimeMummyDS88]

A few of you may remember my previous post about my situation with my DP's family, I'm not going to list every single thing that has happened between us because it would take me about 3 days but I'll just post about the latest argument

So due to a load of arguments and frankly disgusting comments about myself from my partners family but mostly his mother I have gone completely NC with his family, I allowed visitation 5pm-7pm in a Tuesday every week and a few hours every weekend, PIL would call DP when outside and he would take DS out to car and same when they brought DS home so I don't have to see them. Anyway almost 2 weeks ago now I got a text from my DP's cousin saying she was looking forward to seeing me and DS that afternoon, without going into too much detail about all the drama I explained I wouldn't be going but I was glad MIL was taking DS to visit cousin and her DC, during the course of the conversation cousin mentioned that MIL was taking my DS to cousins house to have his hair cut, this was arranged completely without mine or DP knowledge and I was furious, mostly because it's his first haircut and when he is ready for a haircut I feel me and his dad should be the ones to take him. A few MN users suggested cousin maybe knew that it was behind my back and that's why she text (was unusual for her to text me) I have since spoken to cousin again (her child was in hospital so I rang to see how her DD was) cousin confirmed she felt uneasy doing the haircut without speaking to me but she also told me that MIL has been calling me all sorts behind my back and has stated "I will have my boys back with me before Christmas" meaning my DP and my DS, this was all discussed in front of my DS who yes may be a baby now and not understand but he eventually will and I do not trust her to not speak negatively in front of him.

I have sat my DP down and now told him that the Tuesday contact will be stopped and that if she wants DS on a weekend for a few hours then my DP must also go with them, she is not to have my DS unsupervised. DP seems to have located his spine suddenly because he actually completely supported me and agreed (think he was fuming other family now also been dragged into it)

Now my MIL is threatening to call social services on me (I'm emotionally abusing my DS by keeping him away from his family) and she will be seeking legal advice about taking me to court for visitation, I will post this in the legal section too but I was just wondering if anyone has any experience with social services or grandparents rights

Surely this mental woman can't get legal unsupervised time with my child?

She has no rights as a grandparent so ignore her nonsense. Block her on your phone and on social media if you haven't already

I remember your last post! Sorry the situation has deteriorated further but I am glad your dp is now backing you fully (also your cousin seems to be someone you can rely on). Someone better qualified will be along in a minute to advise but I am pretty sure that grandparents have no rights as such. Delighted to be corrected but, if this is the case, she can go ahead, fill her boots (and the lawyers pockets!) on a wild goose chase that will leave her looking very foolish!

Tell her to bring it on. You have the texts from cousin, no doubt at all that MIL is batshit.

She has no rights. Social services has better things to do.

You need to go completely NC. Your husband needs to be fully behind you.

Can you move?

Grandparents have no legal rights (the only exception would be if the parents were either dead or completely unfit and GPs given legal custody or something like that).
Have you got stuff like texts and emails from her that you could hang on to, in case things escalate?

I agree that you’re being extremely generous allowing her to see your son at all from this point onwards. What a poisonous bitch. Hell would freeze over before she saw my DC again.

Revolting woman. No contact between her and your DS in future. Can you imagine what he’s going to grow up hearing about you from her?! Nuh uh. Enough.

Not a lawyer, but its about the child's right to a relationship, not the grandparents, and if you're offering supervised access, you're offering access so both parties can have a relationship, I doubt they can argue its best for the child to be on its own without a parent.

Doesn't mean she can't cause trouble in the meantime, I'd start a log with dates, times etc. of what she's been up to.

She'll be wasting her money going down the legal route so let her! Crazy woman

Tell her to knock herself out. She has no rights as a GP.
Your DP should really put his foot down and stop this nonsense.

Stop all meetings.
Don’t let her see your child at all.
Don’t trust your DP in regards to relationships with his family.

She's using scare tactics that's all your the parents at the end of the day nobody has more rights than you and once she realises that she needs you on her side and not against the better.

As above posters have said grandparents in this situation have no legal rights whatsoever. If she had been caring fur him for a period or was a very significant person to him she could apply for leave from the court to apply for an order around contact.

She has no rights, let her waste her money.

Try and take a step back emotionally, she’s trying to hurt you.

Glad your partner has begun to support you, she sounds like a nightmare and honestly I’d stop all contact.

100% agree that you shouldn’t allow any access to your ds without your dp direct and constant supervision

If she doesn’t like this, then your dp needs to go nc with her too, but that is his decision

Do post on the legal board OP as I’m afraid finefinedandy has a point...

Stop all contact. Block and delete on phone, social media etc.

She won’t be able to legally enforce visitation as a grandparent, particularly in the circumstances you describe. She sounds awful! Think you and your husband are doing the right thing.

My mother stopped me seeing my grandmother and it hurt me badly. They did not get on but my grandmother was always incredibly loving to me. And my mother hurt me alot by doing what she did , to this day I have problems forming relationships because I was taken away from a natural relationship ( grandmother is very important in a child's life). Please look at it from the child's side

I believe there's only a potential "right" for a grandparent if the child has a long ongoing relationship with said grandparent and it had suddenly ceased.
In your case, you've offered supervised contact and your child is very young so I don't think granny has a legal leg to stand on.
Thank goodness your partner has found his spine!

I have to say that you ARE emotionally abusing your ds by keeping him away from his family. It is a terribly hard one because when people do not like each other , they use the child as a pawn to hurt each other, and the child always suffers. She wanted to give him a haircut, she spoke badly about you (and you about her) i dont think either of these add up to never letting him see her again

shes insane - she has no rights. Let her pay for a laywer and drag you to court. Call her bluff.

Anyone think of the child in this? That he would miss his granny. I hate these things because it does not matter if the granny is a loving granny or not, if the mother does not like her she will be jealous, wield her power and remove the child. And yet another child suffers. I can tell you that I suffered terribly from not being allowed to see my granny. Put your child first!

If you're concerned about hurting your DS in the long-run by not allowing him to see members of his family, then go down the route of supervised visitation with your husband.

You haven't actually stopped her from seeing your DS, you've told her she can't see him on his own because she cannot be trusted. Far apart from her being rude about you, taking your DS for a haircut without parental permission is just really odd.