Who was being unreasonable - vegetarian or host?

[neverendingflorist]

Going to try and keep this as short as possible.

Person A invited a group of people over for dinner, including person B who is a vegetarian. A didn't know B was a vegetarian at the time, but B let A know when accepting the invite. A said this was fine. A made lasagna for everyone for dinner, subbing the meat out for roasted veggies for B to make a separate dish. When dinner came round A explained to B what she had made for her and explained what it contained including parmesan cheese. B said sorry, she could not eat it as parmesan is not vegetarian. A said B should have really told her she could not eat parmesan as A thought vegetarians could eat cheese and wouldn't be expected to know these things as she hasn't cooked for vegetarians before. B said lots of things are not vegetarian that aren't just meat/fish and it would take forever to make a list of all things including which cheeses she could/couldn't eat. A thinks B has been very rude and B thinks A has been a poor host.

So who was being unreasonable? I am aware this is pretty much a non-event and should not have escalated in to a big disagreement, but I am interested on general opinions.

Why, what's wrong with parmesan?

Parmesan contains rennet which is not vegetarian.

The onus is on B to explain what she can and cannot eat, as when you're telling a host what allergies or dietary restrictions you have. Vegetarian doesn't automatically equal vegan, so B should have made it clear what else she didn't eat.

When B said they were vegetarian A should have asked them to provide more details/ suggestions and cook accordingly

B was rude. A made an effort to try to cater for them.

Im a vegetarian and I would have just eaten it.

A is being unreasonable. I checked with a friend as some cheeses are made with rennet including parmesan. If in doubt Google it or ask - better not to assume. But B was a little precious / rude too, though difficult if they really are a strict vegetarian.

Wait, just googled it. Tbh, I think no one was unreasonable. It was a genuine mistake- I never knew before today that some cheeses are not vegetarian. My DM is a vegetarian and I'm pretty sure she doesn't know!

B is unreasonable, A can't be expected to know the ins and outs of vegetarianism as a meat eater.

I think the vegetarian is being a little unfair.

The host made a mistake, after going out of their way to ensure they cooked something the vegetarian could eat. Not everyone knows Parmesan isn’t vegetarian.

As the host I would have made sure that the meal I provided was vegetarian. It's not exactly difficult to google vegetarian meals.

B is probably vegan. B needs to communicate better or gratefully accept what she’s offered

@kingsassassin she isn’t vegan she’s vegetarian. Parmasean isn’t vegetarian it contains cows stomach.

If you have dietary requirements, surely it’s up to you to fully inform the host. The rennet issue isn’t well known to everyone.

It wouldn't particularly cross my mind that cheese isn't vegetarian.

6 of 1 and half a dozen of the other really.

B could more helpfully have said 'I'm quite a strict vegetarian and so this doesn't mean no meat and veg but also some cheeses, and jelly(?) and Y and Z too'. At least it would give a heads up it could be complicated.

Neither's position was unreasonable. It's a misunderstanding.

A tried but wasn't well-informed enough to cater to B's level of strict vegetarianism.

Make up.

*for clarity, when cooking for a veggie friend for the first time I told her what I was cooking and what was in it so she could let me know if it wouldn't be suitable.

I think B should have just eaten the parmesan. Yes, it's not strictly vegetarian but it's one meal that's been made for her and it won't kill her.

And I am vegetarian.

I think it's a pity the host didn't know that parmesan isn't vegetarian but to be honest, a lot of people who aren't vegetarian don't know this. So B should really have been gracious about it. Politely saying she couldn't eat it, explaining why and moved on. Not ideal, of course, especially if the host didn't have a fridge full of alternatives.

I didn't know not all cheese were veggie until a few years ago. And in my experience, most vegetarians will still eat parmesan if it's offered, understanding that most people simply don't realise this.

I’m vegetarian so of course know that Parmesan, jelly, Haribo etc aren’t vegetarian.

However I’d have just eaten it.

I feel sorry for both parties

I think the vegetarian was a bit rude. The host actually tried to make an effort and cater for the veggie. Lots of people don't know that parmesan isn't suitable and the host had tried to make reasonable adjustments.

Ah, you see I didn’t know Parmesan was not vegetarian so B was still BU but perhaps a little less so than I first thought.

B is being unreasonable.

Vegetarians don't eat meat. If B doesn't eat cheese then she should have made that clear. Most people would expect vegetarians to eat cheese.

Regan rennet is an animal product.

The person cooking the meal should have checked all the ingredients they used to make were vegetarian, BUT most people would assume that parmesan was ok. The host had obviously tried to make the dish veggie and made a mistake.