To email burns nurse 2 years later?

[whatdoyouthinkk]

Two years ago DS burnt his hand on my straighteners which was obviously an accident and as if I didn't feel like a bad mum enough the nurse made this report.

The first referral she made got closed she then contacted them again to express how frustrated she was that the first referral was closed as she had a major concern about the care of my son and for the case to be reviewed. It got closed again.

I've only just read it now as it was delivered to my mums house and I feel so bloody angry I was driving 100 miles to take DS to his burns appointments. Not once did I show any behaviour to suggest I couldn't care for my son.

I understand it's her job to refer to social services but to contact them twice in a week after they already closed it makes me so angry.

Aibu to email her?

If you email her you're likely to just stir her into reporting you again.

Plus if she had concerns then she's obliged to report them.

YABU. It was two years ago and it's part of her job to report concerns. What would your email say?

How have you got her email address?

Yes, she was doing her job and looking out for your child. Her being wrong and no action taken by SS is preferable to her being right bit not having acted.

And as for contacting them twice, in my job I also question decisions if I think they are wrong. Sometimes people make mistakes.

Thing is though, she’s trained to report suspected abuse.

She reported, it was closed. It’s over. Let it go.

Leave it. You would only look defensive and trigger concerns again. Why did the letters go to your min's house? It must have been pretty serious an accident and she had a duty to flag it.

Email her and say what?! How dare you do your job 2 years ago? Your child managed to have access to hot straighteners, you can hardly take the high ground here.

Would you prefer it if issues slipped through the net and children suffered as a result?

Think you’ll just have to ignore it. Annoying though.

She had concerns, she reported them. She believed there was concerns, so reported again. She’s a nurse, who’s job is to report concerns. Why wouldn’t she?

What do you think you will get from emailing her? How do you know her email address anyway? Stalker?

She's reported it because she was concerned. She shouldn't be punished for that.

Your response is a little OTT

Yes see that behind you, it's your past.
You don't live there any more. Move on.

Write a letter to her then rip it up and put it in the bin.

I don't even know really I would like to know what her concerns were. Why she didn't mention them to me when I took DS to have his dressings changed all them times, if she was so concerned to refer to social services twice.

Raising safeguarding issues means not discussing it with parent/carer. That is the protocol. How old was your ds?

I would be really upset in this situation, but you also have to look at it from the point of view that she has your son's best interests at heart.

A friend works in health care and they are told not to discuss any concerns with parents (don't know whether it's the same in all areas/for all types of HCPs).

TBH I think it's great to hear of someone who is doing her best to look out for children - her instincts may have been wrong on this one but surely it's better to err on the side of caution.

I don't think she was required to explain her concerns to you. She was obviously worried enough to report her concerns, it was up to SS to do what they felt was appropriate with that information. No one should be made to feel uncomfortable for raising concern for a child's welfare.

Ds3 got burned by my straighteners when he was 9 months old. They didn't refer me to social services, although as a social worker myself I thought they should have, assumed they would and even drew them the diagram of where we had all been at the time ds3 got burned with notes explaining how he had reached the straighteners and why I had not realised he would be able to... Actually maybe that and my repeated blaming myself and being distraught is why they didn't refer.

When ds3 had a HV check not long after she didn't know about it and I was stunned- ok so they clearly weren't concerned enough to refer to SS but you would think our own HV team would have been informed!

If the nurse was concerned she has a duty to refer, if she thought the decision to nfa was wrong and she remained concerned she had a duty to follow that up. I know it feels horrible and like you're being persecuted. But better that than the alternative, don't you think? Far too many children who ended up dead or very seriously harmed by abusive carers could have been safeguarded if people had acted on concerns and followed referrals up earlier on. That's why a concerned health professional refers and follows it up- not because they want to hurt you but because they want to be sure they have done all they can to ensure your child is safe.

@LIZS I just moved to my mums when it happened so that was the address they had down. DS was 9 months I think he just started crawling so managed to pull the straighteners down.

She was doing her job. If you were concerned that a child was being abused or neglected by its mother, would you speak to the mother? No. Appreciate it was a shit time for you but she was raising her concerns. Nothing came of it so let it go. If one of the children she reports has an abusive parent and this is followed up then she has done her job excellently.

Yet another reason why we cannot recruit into nursing degrees or keep them .. you can’t do right for doing wrong.

As much as I get why you're upset I would rather innocent parents are looked at if there's someone concerned than guilty ones slipping through the cracks.

She was doing her job, why would you email her now? What would be the point? and she's hardly likely to respond.

Yes, please email, and tear strips off, someone for doing their job well, and looking out for the safety of a child. I despair sometines, I really do.

You could make an appointment with PALS and ask if you can discuss your concerns regarding her interpretation. She sounds overly judgmental, but I think better that than the reverse, really. It may well have timed out though.
No point in emailing her - it just makes it personal.

I’ve just had some NHS training about safeguarding and child protection. How this works with children’s injuries is that staff need to be alert to some of the danger signs for abuse. This includes particular types of injuries and how they manifest and the age of the child concerned. Eg a child who pulls down a hot drink on themselves will have a distinctive splash pattern while a scale with a defined edge is more indicative of potential abuse.

Something triggered this woman’s concerns but upon review a group of people decided there wasn’t even enough cause for concern to interview you. This is the system working as it should.

Don’t fret over it. Just be confident that it was an accident and one that, I assume, you made sure wouldn’t happen again. Whatever triggered the initial concern was not deemed an issue necessary for further action.

If you think of this person at all just think it’s good she’s trying to be alert for signs of abuse and grateful it wasn’t needed in your case.