To email burns nurse 2 years later?

[whatdoyouthinkk]

Two years ago DS burnt his hand on my straighteners which was obviously an accident and as if I didn't feel like a bad mum enough the nurse made this report.

The first referral she made got closed she then contacted them again to express how frustrated she was that the first referral was closed as she had a major concern about the care of my son and for the case to be reviewed. It got closed again.

I've only just read it now as it was delivered to my mums house and I feel so bloody angry I was driving 100 miles to take DS to his burns appointments. Not once did I show any behaviour to suggest I couldn't care for my son.

I understand it's her job to refer to social services but to contact them twice in a week after they already closed it makes me so angry.

Aibu to email her?

Sorry, what do you mean ‘driving 100 miles an hour to take DS to his burns appointment’?

YABU by the way. I’m a nurse and if I was contacted by someone that I made a safeguarding alert about/referral for I’d be concerned.

TheRealShatParp it says "I was driving 100 miles to take DS to his burns appointments." Distance, not speed.

I think a broken bone on a non mobile baby is an automatic referral - otherwise it's a 'if the injury doesn't match the explanation'

And I know under a certain age all A&E visits are notified to the HV

All accidents are flagged up to SS, but it’s up to the SS in your area to follow up

I got a call from the SS team in the area the hospital was in, but as I live in another, it was referred to the team local to me. My local team didn’t make contact

Age does play a part I think. I was told all child injuries were referred

Nurse is actually a bit of a judgemental busybody, and is narked when she's told 'No further concerns' instead of happy and relieved. She sees you, young mum, coming in for dressings changes and decides to busybody away, and gets back in touch with SS

Oh FFS

And honestly, I think most of us nurses and midwives are fed up and depressed with the amount of safeguarding shit we have to deal with and the sad situations and cruelty we come across. It's not something we do for a laugh believe me!

It’s my job in an education setting to refer to other agencies, inc SS.

If I’m unhappy with a “doesn’t meet threshold” response that I don’t feel takes into account the full picture - or perhaps the response is nfa but why don’t you point parent indirection of XYZ, but I know that won’t work because of distance or whatever - then I refer again. Partly to see if additional info will trigger support, partly so my part of the safeguarding net is really secure.

I’m completely happy to have challenging conversations and be delighted when I’m wrong. I’d much rather that than any child slip even slightly through the net.

I'm glad nurses are reporting things; I'd hate for children to be abused and it NOT be reported.

It was negligent of you to leave straighteners where your baby could get to them. If I was a nurse then I'd have concerns about your parenting too. Whilst I might not report to social services solely on that incident (unless I was duty bound to) other comments you might have made in conjunction with this incident might have given her grounds to suspect your child was at risk.

As for your AIBU - let it go and accept that the nurse was doing her job and actually it's better to be over cautious - which she must have been since the referral was closed down twice.

@TheRealShatParp

Sorry, what do you mean ‘driving 100 miles an hour to take DS to his burns appointment’?

YABU by the way. I’m a nurse and if I was contacted by someone that I made a safeguarding alert about/referral for I’d be concerned.

Italiangreyhound

TheRealShatParpit says "I was driving 100 miles to take DS to his burns appointments." Distance, not speed.

And what if a nurse - given their huge workload - had misread some case notes. Someone could be left with this on their, or their children's, record for ever
I know. It's only a message board and nurses/whoever shouldn't be expected to treat it as though it were work.

In which case, no reason to be puffed up with the "I'm a nurse" thing either.
Here you're a poster.

I'm amazed that you have a nurses e-mail address.

LaMarschallin I don't know what your point is? I was just pointing out the OP was talking about the distance she travelled and not how fast she was going.

The OP has already said she is not going to take it further.

@Italiangreyhound

LaMarschallinI don't know what your point is? I was just pointing out the OP was talking about the distance she travelled and not how fast she was going.

True. Sorry to drag your post in.
I was just using it as an example of how people can misread things and continue a lie.
Your post was misread by a nurse. Fine. But we don't know who are nurses and who are not. Here we're just posters. So if someone wishes to point out they're a nurse but gratuitously misreads a post and repeats it.... Might they do that IRL?
Or just accept they're a poster and give their opinion without the "nurse" thing as a back up?

italian i think LaMars was just pointing out the poster you quoted, the Poster misread something and said im a nurse BTW, which shows even people safeguarding can make a mistake if overworked/stressed.

X post

@InsertFunnyUsername

It was a X post but I wish I'd waited.
You put it a jolly sight better than I did

We raised 2 ds to adulthood without a whiff of any involvement with ss. Then dd came along and they've hardly been away, just stupid stuff that was really no concern and the many cases closed immediately. I'm so glad we were referred on every occasion. It was just inconvenience to me, to ss it's their job to protect children. They know us well in two boroughs now, and I must add my dd has never been in any trouble.

LaMarschallin but the poster being a nurse was relevant to what they were saying because they were saying how they would feel if contacted after two years as a nurse.

I don't think the implication is that a nurse cannot misread something necessarily.

My mother learned from the number of times she took one of my brothers to A&E that nurses make referrals if they're concerned about potential non accidental injuries or if they get grief from the parent about it.

She didn't take me for anything but dislocated shoulders, where she could blame another of my brothers for picking me up wrong.

I therefore have a wonky and almost useless finger where it was broken and left to set without treatment (I sellotaped it to a pencil to try and stop the pain), a misshapen toe where it was broken and left to set without treatment from being stamped on, a permanent limp from being told I was making a fuss about nothing when I'd broken my ankle running to escape another battering, and a large scar from falling through glass dumped in the garden and I got a couple of punches for deliberately smashing up her precious fishtank that had been left in the grass for at least a year by then. I also sustained a number of head injuries, usually from being shoved, punched or in some other way deliberately hurt.

The only time I would be taken to hospital for treatment was if I had been injured at school. That meant nobody actually got to see my permanently bruised arms and legs, either.

I wish I'd seen a nurse like the one your DC did. One prepared to question the disinterest of Social Services.

You're going to have to let it go, as contacting her now could be interpreted as being consistent with an abusive or neglectful parent trying to get incidents wiped/a report discredited to protect themselves from further necessary SS involvement - or as out and out threatening. Had such things as getting copies or having details of a reporter's identity & contact details been a possibility when I was a child, I am sure without a single doubt that somebody reporting my injuries would have been subjected to my mother's wrath for many years afterwards.

She did what she thought was right. Nothing came of it. Leave it.

By the way this is totally out there but I ran the bath for my son really too hot today, and fortunately he didn't need a bath so I had it and added cold water... but... I have a theory sometimes if you read a lot about something you kind of make it more likely you might do it! Like reading about dropping your phone down the loo and then doing it (which I have done).

So if you have been reading this thread be careful with hot things!

LaMarschallin

"Your post was misread by a nurse. Fine. But we don't know who are nurses and who are not." It wasn't my post, I am not the OP I just wanted to point out it was not about driving 100 mils an hour.

MitziK your post is heartbreaking, I am so sorry you had all that happen.

LaMarschallin yes, I did get what you meant after you explained it. I wasn't being awkward just couldn't see it first time.

@LaMarschallin nobody is getting puffed up about being a nurse, in this thread being a nurse or social worker is relevant. Being a mother who allows children access to straighteners is relevant.

A teacher letting us know they're a teacher in a thread about school is relevant. What a weird thing to get worked up about.

And also v weird that you're pointing out that a nurse read something wrong out of work!

You left hot straighteners near a baby. Of course she had concerns!