Another AIBU to move to London thread..

[aIways]

I read the last similar thread with interest, but my situation differs in several ways, so I'd be so grateful for advice. I always write posts that are much too long so I'll try and keep it brief, but happy to explain if needed..

I'm in my mid 20s, single mum with a 4yo. My DDs dad was abusive and doesn't see her. I graduated last year, and currently work in a startup which has given me so much experience but there is absolutely no chance of career progression or a pay rise, ever. My salary is low, but I like and respect my boss and am really grateful for him giving me a shot, especially in the unusual circumstances I was hired.

I live in a city which is almost as expensive as London, but has none of the career opportunities. It's a 2 hour commute each way.

I first properly looked for another job last weekend due to my being pissed off at not getting paid on time yet again (though I always keep an eye out for things in my area), just to see what was out there elsewhere, and found a grad job which required no experience, but pretty much all of the tasks listed are things I already do in my current job. The office seems young and fun (though I’m very aware that a single parent in a new city has little opportunity for non-child related fun and I can absolutely live with that). I applied Sunday night and Monday morning the recruiter got in touch with me, seemingly really keen.

It mostly appeals for the decent salary, the development budget for each staff member, and the scope for career progression. Also the work seems interesting and I'd be very comfortable and confident that I could exceed doing it. I’ve searched hard, and I can’t find that anywhere near where I live.

I have always loved London and my favourite days are going with DD to new, interesting places. The idea of taking her to the science museum, or the history museum or Tate modern etc for free whenever I like actually gives me butterflies

I couldn’t commute, it’d take too long and cost too much that I would be more skint than I am now. I’ve had to move my dad into my poky 2 bed to afford to live. It’s squished and I love him but he’s really messy/ unhygienic and there’s not enough room for us all. He’s cool with us moving, he'd miss DD desperately but has a friend to move in with, and just wants me to be happy and then ok for money so is hoping I get the job.

So.. I’m sure this will be controversial, but my starting salary is 30k, so about 2k take home, and if I moved I'd get an estimated additional 1k universal credit. I know that’s really generous, but I’m mainly moving for the career progression and am planning to work my arse off to make sure I contribute to society’s ‘pot’ in the long run. I’ve been at the mercy of in-work benefits and their random reductions, overpayments and suspensions for years and it’s made me literally suicidal; I dream of being without them (though am obviously appreciative to life in a country where they’re awarded). Annual promotion is typical within the company, and each staff member has a generous development/ training budget which they can spend as they wish.

So that’s 3k a month. My office will be near Shoreditch. I’m scared about finding DD a school, but apparently 2015 was a really low birth year and though the borough I’m looking at doesn’t publish primary intake data, neighbouring boroughs say they have over half of schools undersubscribed.

I’ve found some nice enough flats for £1500. Though I don't know the areas, so I'm going to commute for a month and scope out which ones are too stabby to consider.. I’m estimating my bills to be £500-600. So that leaves me £900 for food, petrol, treats, savings etc. So so much more that I have now. Does this all sound about right to any Londoners? I'm pretty streetwise, have grown up in a not nice area and am not expecting Notting Hill, but I don't want to live anywhere we are at serious danger of getting hurt obviously.

Atm, even with my dad chipping in for bills, my income is barely more than essential outgoings. With my DD sharing a room with me, and a fairly long commute with absolutely no scope for career progression.

The lady in the other thread was overwhelmingly told that she was crazy to move for 55k, a little more than my gross salary (I’m told I can expect bonuses etc but obviously my universal credit will reduce due to these). But I’m desperate to be free from benefits, and to be successful and build a great life for my DD. There was 4 of them, they already had a nice house and life up north. There's just 2 of us, and we're barely surviving.

I haven’t got it yet! But it’s all progressing very quickly and they seem very keen. That wasn’t short at all! But am I mental?

Exactly. Rude.

OP, I admit to starting reading your initial post and thinking you are naive (mainly due to the increased costs of living in London negates any additional salary) but on further reading you have really thought this through. Please check all your calculations because so much depends on this. I am only saying this because I have not come across parents, single or not, being able to claim anything near this amount after £26, 000 these days.
I think you need to do a bit more research than using online calculators.
You sound like a complete assest to any employer. You are motivated and a problem solver. I mentor and train as part of my role and an attitude such as yours is really noticeable to employers. It may not be advisable to mention all you have achieved whilst being a single parent to future employers (not sure of which sector you are in but lots of unfounded bias remains in many). However both you and I know you know you have had to go the extra mile, be incredibly focused, organised and disiplined and continue to be so.
Go for it but really think about childcare. You will not be working 9-5.
Also attending a Russell group university is increasingly unattractive to employers (and I attended one as an undergraduate). Their ratings are based on research rather than their churning out employable professionals. A huge number of highly rated degrees in several professions are not from the top 20 universities.

@GraceSlicksRabbit

You remind me of your employer!

do check that all the flats you are looking at will accept people on benefits

This! Very few landlords will accept tenants claiming housing benefit

Have you considered further out? We're zone 6 (Romford) - 28 minutes to Liverpool Street, you can walk to Shoreditch from there.
Good primary schools, secondaries are a bit of a mixed bag (although the girls secondary school is good) but they might be better in 7 years! There are a number of nurseries with 10-15 minute walk of the station.
It's about £90 a month more for a 1-6 travel card than a 1-3, but you can get a 2 bedroom flat here from £950-1200 a month (there's also a number of shared ownership developments with the potential to get a foot on the ladder in a few years, if that's something you are interested).
There's a new gym, swimming pool and ice rink in the town centre, some nice parks (Raphael's is great) nearby, cinema, bowling alley, and a wide range of supermarkets, shops etc.
I grew up in Walthamstow and don't feel it's any rougher here.

Your plan sounds fine. Many many schools in Hackney have wraparound care, I would assume Walthamstow too. You could always ring and check on care and places in school before taking a flat. As an inyear admission you wouldn't be tied to nearest school and within a square mile there are loads of schools so you are likely to get a reasonable choice. In long-term if you were thinking about buying though I warn you London is dire at the moment!

This! Very few landlords will accept tenants claiming housing benefit

This has been an issue for me in the past but I'm wondering if UC will make this slightly easier as tax credits (which have less of a stigma, I find) are combined with housing benefit into one payment. Also I've read on here that some landlord's mortgages don't allow the acceptance of HB. But doubt they've changed the terms to include UC? Not sure.

I just think there's sooo many flats available to rent atm, over 200 2 bed flats under £1500 within 3 miles of my workplace that they may not have the luxury of being overly choosy? Or maybe there is that many tenants looking in London, I have no idea but I live in a big city and there is nowhere near that amount of flats available here.

Plus I have stayed in my current house for 3.5 years, always paid my rent on time and maintained the house beautifully. If I'm on 30k, with a child (not small enough to be scribbling all over the walls) so won't be having any crazy parties, and with great rental references that can go back 5 years if needed... I'm hoping I stand a fair chance of getting a tenancy.

It's also not like I'm in any mad rush, I'm the one telling my dad I only want to commute for a month - he thinks it'd be more sensible to give it a couple of months (think he just wants more time with DD tbh). I don't want to as I'll really miss seeing DD throughout the week, the commute is going to kill me and the expense is going to be crazy. But at least I'm not having to relocate in time for my first day so I have time to look around and try and find an alright flat that'll take me, which allows a manageable commute, near an alright school with a spare place and wraparound care available (so not too much to ask for then ).

You sound like a complete assest to any employer. You are motivated and a problem solver. I mentor and train as part of my role and an attitude such as yours is really noticeable to employers. It may not be advisable to mention all you have achieved whilst being a single parent to future employers (not sure of which sector you are in but lots of unfounded bias remains in many). However both you and I know you know you have had to go the extra mile, be incredibly focused, organised and disiplined and continue to be so.

Thank you so much for this post btw, such lovely words. I'm going to reread this thread on my way on Tuesday to give myself a confidence boost. Tbh I sound really confident as I always end up counting my chickens before they hatch but I can struggle with anxiety and low self esteem sometimes so I really appreciate comments like these.

Even if I don't get it, it's certainly cemented my decision to move on from the job I'm at now, and it's given me some good experience regarding the application process for 'real' jobs and some confidence that a company somewhere will want to employ me. So win win though I really bloody hope I do get it!

Oh and I'm definitely not going to mention being a parent. I remember going for so many min wage admin jobs whilst at uni and not getting them. If they'd ask me what I was most proud of or to talk about how I am with time management etc, I'd talk about getting a scholarship of academic excellence in my first year of uni even though I had a young baby. First interview I didn't mention her, I got.

It's rubbish, isn't it? If I am ever recruiting for a role in the future, I'll definitely value the skills that working parents have to possess to juggle it all. Conversely though I do see some ridiculously entitled working parents on here who think they should always have first choice of annual leave etc. that ruin it for the rest of us who feel they have to prove themselves even more than their childless counterparts.

I'd check out the housing element of UC as heard it is not as high a tax credits with housing benefit though. make sure you have enough to cover it first. there are calculators online.

I'd check out the housing element of UC as heard it is not as high a tax credits with housing benefit though. make sure you have enough to cover it first. there are calculators online.

Those calculators are what I'm basing my calculations on. Says UC awards more overall both in my current situation and in London. 🤷🏽‍♀️

I've always found the calculators pretty bang on. Have always used them when applying for a new job, moving to a new home etc. and they've been near enough correct to the nearest tenner. But I take everyone's points on board, also obviously UC is relatively new so they might not be as accurate. So if I got offered the job, I'd try to get an appointment with CAB to make sure the sums are right.

Ok- that's good to know.

Also really happy to hear everybody calling me organised. I actually have (inattentive type) ADHD, though have gone on medication this year and have really worked hard to hone some techniques in order to work on my organisation and time management skills.

What with these comments, and the personality games I had to do as part of the application rating me as very attentive, I feel this week has been always 1 - ADHD 0.

Can you tell I'm boring all of my family and friends with talk of this job and London, hence the multiple long posts?

Good luck Always. Will be waving my flag and keeping fingers crossed for you today.

Good luck for today always we’re all cheering you on!

So sorry I didn't update! Trying to cut down on MN (it's so bloody addictive ).

I didn't go. There was a newspaper article written at the weekend about the company, and that staff were being expected to work 12 hour days and the environment was really toxic. So I then looked on Glassdoor and people were saying their contracts were being changed so you were asked to work anytime between 7am and 10pm, and one weekend a month. Plus there is practically no chance of career progression and it really is just glorified customer service. In future I will be looking on Glassdoor prior to making any applications!

I know it probably would have been good experience but I didn't want to waste a day of annual leave and have to find £60 for the train fare which although I would get back eventually, it's a tight week for me money wise so wouldn't have been ideal.

I think maybe I'm going to struggle with finding a grad job without this kind of 'stay late' culture. Might just have to hold out for the civil service scheme, it's just annoying as applications open mid August but you don't actually start work until September 2020. It does sound like an absolute dream job for me though, and obviously very stable and from what I've heard, working late isn't the norm and they are used to flex working requests (so if I found I was needed to do extra hours at some times of the year, there's a chance I could work from home when DD was in bed instead). I got through to the final stages a couple of years back but forgot to arrange the video interview within the required 5 days (prior to my ADHD diagnosis ) so that was the end of that. But I've got lots more experience and stuff now so I think I'd stand an ok chance, though I know it's v competitive.

It has made me value my own job a lot more. I can work from home, it's flexible, I'm really valued and my ideas are respected and often implemented - I have a lot of autonomy.

I think me and my colleague have kicked up such a stink re getting paid on time and getting payslips and stuff that hopefully my boss has got a bit of a wake up call. And he was supposed to be chipping in for a masters for me in September, but couldn't pay it all, and I didn't realise I needed to apply for student finance 9 months before (!) so I had to shelf that, but I'm thinking maybe I could ask for a pay rise instead. Then I could maybe ask my dad if he was OK with moving out after Christmas or something..

I also went to my DDs future primary school's information evening last night, and just fell in love with it and the teachers. It's the one I used to go to and I love it so much.

Not sure, I was so excited for this new adventure and I will keep looking but the last thing I want to do is start a job where it's not physically possible to complete the tasks expected of me and pick my DD up on time, with no family around to assist. What do you guys think? Is there much chance of getting a suitable grad job outside the public sector?

You can apply for Civil Service Fast Stream as an existing employee - so it might be worth looking at other CS roles in the meantime (I'm starting FS in September, I chose CS due to the work-life balance, but there are lots of roles advertised outside of the scheme too). Good luck x

I agree that sadly many grad jobs will involve longer hours. Not necessarily silly long, but in London (especially the better paid graduate jobs) certainly 8.30-6.30pm is extremely typical, and in any job there are busy peaks where the junior grads are often the ones who have to work late. It's better now as there's more working from home but often that's not encouraged at lower levels as junior staff can need more contact with senior staff in terms of supervision and learning.

Of course companies don't require this but the majority of young grads don't have any family responsibilities and thus are competing to learn and progress rapidly, so those who cannot commit to this stand out and can easily get overlooked/left behind.

I would definitely target civil service & public sector as the hours are known to be much better.

It seems you've learned at least some useful stuff from this whole exercise OP, so that's positive. You've more of an idea of the maths if you wanted to move, your boss has had a bit of a wake up call and you now know you definitely want to go down the CS route. Those things are all valuable.

If looking for another job makes you feel happier about your current one, that is no bad thing! The long hours culture is pretty rampant everywhere but the public sector is better at flexible working. Good luck!

Doesn't the Fast Stream involve several moves over two years? Or am i confusing it with something else?

The Fast Stream can involve moving - they encourage out of London placements but you can possibly argue it is too disruptive.

OP, it's not a choice of nothing or the civil service.

You say you work in a start up now - in a tech role? What would this masters be in? What coding languages are you most familiar with?

There are lots of opportunities in the tech sector and often hours are quite reasonable because good staff are in short supply. You can tell them what you want to some extent.

The Fast Stream usually involves moving, but OP has caring responsibilities so can ask for an exemption, especially with a child enrolled in school.