Another AIBU to move to London thread..

[aIways]

I read the last similar thread with interest, but my situation differs in several ways, so I'd be so grateful for advice. I always write posts that are much too long so I'll try and keep it brief, but happy to explain if needed..

I'm in my mid 20s, single mum with a 4yo. My DDs dad was abusive and doesn't see her. I graduated last year, and currently work in a startup which has given me so much experience but there is absolutely no chance of career progression or a pay rise, ever. My salary is low, but I like and respect my boss and am really grateful for him giving me a shot, especially in the unusual circumstances I was hired.

I live in a city which is almost as expensive as London, but has none of the career opportunities. It's a 2 hour commute each way.

I first properly looked for another job last weekend due to my being pissed off at not getting paid on time yet again (though I always keep an eye out for things in my area), just to see what was out there elsewhere, and found a grad job which required no experience, but pretty much all of the tasks listed are things I already do in my current job. The office seems young and fun (though I’m very aware that a single parent in a new city has little opportunity for non-child related fun and I can absolutely live with that). I applied Sunday night and Monday morning the recruiter got in touch with me, seemingly really keen.

It mostly appeals for the decent salary, the development budget for each staff member, and the scope for career progression. Also the work seems interesting and I'd be very comfortable and confident that I could exceed doing it. I’ve searched hard, and I can’t find that anywhere near where I live.

I have always loved London and my favourite days are going with DD to new, interesting places. The idea of taking her to the science museum, or the history museum or Tate modern etc for free whenever I like actually gives me butterflies

I couldn’t commute, it’d take too long and cost too much that I would be more skint than I am now. I’ve had to move my dad into my poky 2 bed to afford to live. It’s squished and I love him but he’s really messy/ unhygienic and there’s not enough room for us all. He’s cool with us moving, he'd miss DD desperately but has a friend to move in with, and just wants me to be happy and then ok for money so is hoping I get the job.

So.. I’m sure this will be controversial, but my starting salary is 30k, so about 2k take home, and if I moved I'd get an estimated additional 1k universal credit. I know that’s really generous, but I’m mainly moving for the career progression and am planning to work my arse off to make sure I contribute to society’s ‘pot’ in the long run. I’ve been at the mercy of in-work benefits and their random reductions, overpayments and suspensions for years and it’s made me literally suicidal; I dream of being without them (though am obviously appreciative to life in a country where they’re awarded). Annual promotion is typical within the company, and each staff member has a generous development/ training budget which they can spend as they wish.

So that’s 3k a month. My office will be near Shoreditch. I’m scared about finding DD a school, but apparently 2015 was a really low birth year and though the borough I’m looking at doesn’t publish primary intake data, neighbouring boroughs say they have over half of schools undersubscribed.

I’ve found some nice enough flats for £1500. Though I don't know the areas, so I'm going to commute for a month and scope out which ones are too stabby to consider.. I’m estimating my bills to be £500-600. So that leaves me £900 for food, petrol, treats, savings etc. So so much more that I have now. Does this all sound about right to any Londoners? I'm pretty streetwise, have grown up in a not nice area and am not expecting Notting Hill, but I don't want to live anywhere we are at serious danger of getting hurt obviously.

Atm, even with my dad chipping in for bills, my income is barely more than essential outgoings. With my DD sharing a room with me, and a fairly long commute with absolutely no scope for career progression.

The lady in the other thread was overwhelmingly told that she was crazy to move for 55k, a little more than my gross salary (I’m told I can expect bonuses etc but obviously my universal credit will reduce due to these). But I’m desperate to be free from benefits, and to be successful and build a great life for my DD. There was 4 of them, they already had a nice house and life up north. There's just 2 of us, and we're barely surviving.

I haven’t got it yet! But it’s all progressing very quickly and they seem very keen. That wasn’t short at all! But am I mental?

OP, a graduate programme, especially in London, where the competition is fierce, may implicitly assume that grads are working until 9-10 pm to show commitment to their career. I obviously don't know all sectors, but definitely so in finance / banking.

I'd say over half of the grad schemes I've seen offer one of the above for all new starters (not specifically for relocation) - between 2 and 10k, so didn't think it a completely ridiculous idea

You can often get an interest free season ticket loan at big employers, and actually you’re right my firm offered a £5k interest free loan to be repaid over 3 years. However if the firm isn’t set up to offer this already I can’t see that they will be interested in doing it just for you. Ask about ‘season ticket loan’ rather than ‘oh by the way I can’t actually afford to move here for this job unless you give me £1k’

I’m with your ex can’t think of anything worse than living in London, but if city living is your bag go for it

Shoreditch is on the Overground, so have a look at the stops on that line when house hunting.

Oh and all the graduate schemes I know of might say 9-5 but read that as 8-8/9. So you really need to factor that in

I think your plan sounds great. I’m another one who loves raising kids in London. Loads of free stuff and we make the most of all the museums, galleries and parks. (They’re 3 and 4).

If you’re serious about looking at big 4 etc you might find them a lot more family friendly than you’d expect. The person I know who works there is more senior than you but wah, flexibile hours, parental leave are all miles better than smaller employers I know.

Lifeover the job OP has applied for is not a graduate scheme.

Sounds like you really want a new start so go for it , life has a way of working out. Hope all your dreams come true

A) even at final interview stage, or a 30k job with the perks you describe, you will be competing against bright young grads from Russell group unis. The recruiters will have been equally positive with them too.

Yep, but I already do every single thing listed in the role in my current job. It's on a smaller scale, but this has meant I've gained lots of really good experience on the development and implementation of process changes I've actioned, and all the measurable benefits these changes have brought to the business. This is what makes me think (hope) I have a good chance against people who went to a better uni than me.

You’ve got a huge amount going for you and it sounds like you’ve got every chance. My workplace doesn’t care one bit about what university you went to, and experience trumps everything.

At my law firm the name of the university attended by a candidate is no longer given to the interviewers (though HR do see it) and they are not allowed to ask. This is in order to prevent bias, conscious or unconscious.

@GraceSlicksRabbit

At my law firm the name of the university attended by a candidate is no longer given to the interviewers (though HR do see it) and they are not allowed to ask. This is in order to prevent bias, conscious or unconscious..
But that’s ridiculous

It is a “bias” that is ground in fact rather than just opinion. Durham is a lot harder to get in to than university of Brighton. Oxford is a lot harder to get in to than university of bath spa.

And so on.

But who cares if Brighton is easier to get into compared to Durham? it’s not relevant to the job application. It would create bias because you might make assumptions that one candidate is cleverer, has more social nous, would fit in better, is more middle class, will automatically be better at the job, etc, when you don’t know that.

But who cares if Brighton is easier to get into compared to Durham? it’s not relevant to the job application

But it may be. Some universities are known for utterly excelling in certain degrees and even areas that may be particularly relevant to the job in question

Even where university is hidden it's easy to look up a name on LinkedIn. It stands to reason that universities which are academically competitive to enter will have a higher proportion of academically able graduates. Oh and plenty of individuals are just snobby or have been burned. We once hired a guy from a poor academic background who seemed to have all the experience we wanted. He did, but was a relatively slow learner picking up new things and didn't process information or work at the pace needed to progress, so stayed at a low rung a long time before leaving.

Nb of course OP you sound bright and driven but never start making life plans until you have a contract signed!

You could look at Clapton, you could easily cycle to Shoreditch and save on train fares.

You will be competing against bright young grads from Russell group unis. The recruiters will have been equally positive with them too.

Feeling my age here, but Always is in her mid 20s. Still a bright young grad in my ancient opinion! Experience is a huge plus - and being able to demonstrate that you have actual and transferable skills.

Obviously, the recruiters will have been encouraging to everyone who meets the essential criteria but I am still waving the flag for always to shine above another candidate who has not developed the life skills Always has while bringing up her daughter on her own.

It depends what the job is, of course, but the academically able often are not the most able in the world of work. I know several Oxford graduates who failed their probation at my work and are got rid of, whereas those from far, far “lesser” universities succeed.

AmIbeingdaft no need to be so rude, I was just stating a fact. Diversity and inclusion, including social diversity as well as ethnic and gender diversity, are a very big priority for us at the moment and some people may have been socially disadvantaged, stopping them from making Russell Group grades. There is still some level of filtering by HR at the application stage I believe, to take into account the relative academic weighting of various Universities. Beyond that, it’s considered fairer for the interviewers not to know. All law degrees have to cover the same core topics, and skills and aptitude are tested very rigorously in the interview and assessment centre process.

@GraceSlicksRabbit

Rude? Where on earth have I been rude in saying this?

ASome universities are known for utterly excelling in certain degrees and even areas that may be particularly relevant to the job in question**

Genuinely perplexed!

AmIbeingDaft I did not mean that you were rude about the entry requirements for certain universities. I meant that it was rude of you to describe my employer’s attempt to eliminate unconscious bias as “ridiculous”. Why not say you found it interesting or surprising or difficult to understand? Would you have dismissed it so rudely if I had been standing in front of you telling you about it in person?

Obviously, the recruiters will have been encouraging to everyone who meets the essential criteria but I am still waving the flag for always to shine above another candidate who has not developed the life skills Always has while bringing up her daughter on her own.

Ah, thanks so much for this!

I don't back myself 100%, I understand I might not be the right fit. My university wasn't anything to write home about, try as I might I still drop the odd T, I'm not really a trendy young thing (have no bloody idea what to wear)!

But the invitation email today said that the most important thing above all was to be confident, chatty and friendly all day as this is such an important part of the culture. So I need to fake it until I make it!

You sound extremely employable and I admire your attitude and get up and go. I am bringing my DD up in London and have managed to work my way up into a good position in my career. We live in a lovely, big 1 bed flat in a nice area near to an outstanding school which is £1400 a month so it can be done. I would absolutely go for it. You will find a way to make it work financially. And given how positive your attitude is, it may not take you too long to get promoted or move on to the next step up somewhere else. Please update us after your interview. Best of luck.

Why not say you found it interesting or surprising or difficult to understand? Would you have dismissed it so rudely if I had been standing in front of you telling you about it in person?

Because I didn’t find it any of those things
I found it ridiculous

And “ridiculous” is not a word I would have difficulty saying in a discussion with you!