Another AIBU to move to London thread..

[aIways]

I read the last similar thread with interest, but my situation differs in several ways, so I'd be so grateful for advice. I always write posts that are much too long so I'll try and keep it brief, but happy to explain if needed..

I'm in my mid 20s, single mum with a 4yo. My DDs dad was abusive and doesn't see her. I graduated last year, and currently work in a startup which has given me so much experience but there is absolutely no chance of career progression or a pay rise, ever. My salary is low, but I like and respect my boss and am really grateful for him giving me a shot, especially in the unusual circumstances I was hired.

I live in a city which is almost as expensive as London, but has none of the career opportunities. It's a 2 hour commute each way.

I first properly looked for another job last weekend due to my being pissed off at not getting paid on time yet again (though I always keep an eye out for things in my area), just to see what was out there elsewhere, and found a grad job which required no experience, but pretty much all of the tasks listed are things I already do in my current job. The office seems young and fun (though I’m very aware that a single parent in a new city has little opportunity for non-child related fun and I can absolutely live with that). I applied Sunday night and Monday morning the recruiter got in touch with me, seemingly really keen.

It mostly appeals for the decent salary, the development budget for each staff member, and the scope for career progression. Also the work seems interesting and I'd be very comfortable and confident that I could exceed doing it. I’ve searched hard, and I can’t find that anywhere near where I live.

I have always loved London and my favourite days are going with DD to new, interesting places. The idea of taking her to the science museum, or the history museum or Tate modern etc for free whenever I like actually gives me butterflies

I couldn’t commute, it’d take too long and cost too much that I would be more skint than I am now. I’ve had to move my dad into my poky 2 bed to afford to live. It’s squished and I love him but he’s really messy/ unhygienic and there’s not enough room for us all. He’s cool with us moving, he'd miss DD desperately but has a friend to move in with, and just wants me to be happy and then ok for money so is hoping I get the job.

So.. I’m sure this will be controversial, but my starting salary is 30k, so about 2k take home, and if I moved I'd get an estimated additional 1k universal credit. I know that’s really generous, but I’m mainly moving for the career progression and am planning to work my arse off to make sure I contribute to society’s ‘pot’ in the long run. I’ve been at the mercy of in-work benefits and their random reductions, overpayments and suspensions for years and it’s made me literally suicidal; I dream of being without them (though am obviously appreciative to life in a country where they’re awarded). Annual promotion is typical within the company, and each staff member has a generous development/ training budget which they can spend as they wish.

So that’s 3k a month. My office will be near Shoreditch. I’m scared about finding DD a school, but apparently 2015 was a really low birth year and though the borough I’m looking at doesn’t publish primary intake data, neighbouring boroughs say they have over half of schools undersubscribed.

I’ve found some nice enough flats for £1500. Though I don't know the areas, so I'm going to commute for a month and scope out which ones are too stabby to consider.. I’m estimating my bills to be £500-600. So that leaves me £900 for food, petrol, treats, savings etc. So so much more that I have now. Does this all sound about right to any Londoners? I'm pretty streetwise, have grown up in a not nice area and am not expecting Notting Hill, but I don't want to live anywhere we are at serious danger of getting hurt obviously.

Atm, even with my dad chipping in for bills, my income is barely more than essential outgoings. With my DD sharing a room with me, and a fairly long commute with absolutely no scope for career progression.

The lady in the other thread was overwhelmingly told that she was crazy to move for 55k, a little more than my gross salary (I’m told I can expect bonuses etc but obviously my universal credit will reduce due to these). But I’m desperate to be free from benefits, and to be successful and build a great life for my DD. There was 4 of them, they already had a nice house and life up north. There's just 2 of us, and we're barely surviving.

I haven’t got it yet! But it’s all progressing very quickly and they seem very keen. That wasn’t short at all! But am I mental?

Actually I am wondering about the £1k UC too - I'm no expert but I've never been entitled to anything except child benefit and the 30 hours. Definitely check that out, OP, because it could make all the difference in your case.

I'm in C London, on £19k (previously 17k with no benefits) and my colleagues (on the same) managed to afford to live in flat shares.

If you moved a bit further out into Z3 or 4 then I think you could be fine. Might have to live in a small flat or not great area but the opportunity sounds worth it.

I cycle to work which saves my transport and live being here.

See attached. Local housing allowance is very high in that area, almost double what it is in my area and I only a pay a few hundred less than a comparable property in London.

Sorry, afterthought- you can look at doing a houseshare with another single parent - I know people who have done this.

I keep reading about this! I'd definitely look into it.

London is expensive... and don't forget the £1000+ council tax every month

Take it you mean year? From the flats I've looked up, council tax is quite a lot less than what I pay now. I think the council tax is generally lower in London? Not sure why.

I know people are being realistic but from the things you've said, you're a pretty determined woman! I really think you will make it work. Please do come back and update us, I'm really rooting for you!

Live in South London but commute to central London and pretty good on most parts of London except west.

Was going to say that inner London councils often have better services in terms of after school/breakfast/holiday clubs but I see you have already been checking things out always. And public transport is so much better and cheaper. I think it’s having more independent grocery shops Which means that fruit and vegetables are often cheaper than supermarkets.

Agree with Solittletime that a smaller flat in a more convenient location will make life a lot simpler.

I’d say go for it! Good idea to commute for a month to see if job is what you want though.

Council tax is a bit variable, some boroughs are a lot cheaper than others so worth looking into before you decide on an area.

I live in Crystal Palace 20 minutes on overground to Shoreditch, lots of families, green spaces and lower rentals than Shoreditch.

Houseshare is exactly what I came on to post about. When I was a teacher in London , I shared with a A&E doctor single parent. I did some after school and holiday childcare and had reduced rent allowing me to save for my own flat.

London council tax is generally lower than in other parts of the country. I’m in what is often touted as a high council tax area in London, but when I checked it was actually average for London and less than many other parts of the country.

You will be ok. I managed with small dd on around 30k (now on 50k ish and it is easier but I wouldn’t have had the career opportunities and promotion outside of London) I also live around shoreditch area and a 1 bed flat was fine for me and small dd. Cost is definitely in line with what you’ve seen.
London is second to none for career development. Plus there’s loads of free stuff going on for kids and if you’re smart about where you live you can walk or bus a lot of places.

Another vote for south east London, you do get a lot more for your money than in east London, more green space and good transport links using rail or the Overground line.

I have no idea about what benefits you can get on a £30,000 salary - but would suggest, like a pp, if you're going to go for it that you find a house share with another single parent. This is becoming increasingly popular here. You might hate London, you never know!

@theWarOnPeace are you really suggesting a mum and daughter live and sleep in one room?! That would be horrific.

You sound completely brilliant OP. Determined, insightful and clever. Do it and good luck!! You will make it work.

User, I hope you’re being sarcastic. I know a mum, dad and a five-year-old living in a studio. It’s not uncommon. A decent sized studio for a mum and child would be OK.

Come on, nobody lives with parents (s) and child in a single room unless they have absolutely no option. What do the parents do when the child goes to sleep? The OP has plenty of two bedroom options.

I can assure you they do. Because the mum owned the studio first, then she meets the dad and they have a baby. London is expensive to buy and they owned this place, with mortgage. Having two bedrooms is unnecessary. A one bed flat is fine.

So the Dad has no income to allow them to move somewhere bigger then? In other words, they did not have an option. And now you say 1 bed is fine, so what is it, one bed or studio that is fine?
It’s really not OTT for someone earning 30k to plan on the basis that parent and child will have a bedroom each.

The dad had an income, yes. But he has another child he supports. But most people in London don’t earn mega bucks. In my job, average salary is 21k with a max of about 25. That doesn’t get you far. A one bed flat with the child in the bedroom and the parent in the living room is very normal and is not even considered overcrowded.

Thank you for all of the lovely comments, and thanks even more to the people who have given location ideas. This is helping so much! Really glad I asked.

I obviously might not get it, and if I don't, I'll probably try and hold out for a public sector grad job if poss as I am worried about the long hour culture and not being able to work as much as others due to childcare restraints. But I am excited and very qualified for the role so think it's worth a shot. Will keep you all updated

Yes user because it’s the best short term way to make it work, otherwise OP loses her opportunity. Short term in a lovely location near to work and school while OP gets her bearings, is not my idea of hell. Lots of people, including me for a bit, have had to have their kids in with them. I’d rather have a chance at bettering my situation, than everyone keeping their own room but not moving forwards financially or career-wise. Sacrifices always have to be made in order to progress. OP is sharing with her daughter now because her dad is living with her, because she can’t afford not to. I don’t see the difference except in this way she gets an opportunity to really start her career and build up her prospects. So yes, I am suggesting share a studio flat with her young daughter.

A studio is not ideal long term, though people seem to manage fine, as I’ve said. But in the OP’s situation it will likely only be short term. I’m in a two-bed place and there are five of us- two adults and three teens. The teens share one room. It’s no problem.

always you sound lovely with a great attitude.

I'd echo the suggestions of not having a long commute, a 30 minute walk is better than a 30 minute train as there's no delays. I'm in Hackney and there's so much on for children, most of it free or cheap.

The other thread was a very different situation, I think she was set on a house? But it doesn't sound like you have much to lose from giving it a go, and you come across as someone who would dust themselves off and find a solution if it didn't work out.