Another AIBU to move to London thread..

[aIways]

I read the last similar thread with interest, but my situation differs in several ways, so I'd be so grateful for advice. I always write posts that are much too long so I'll try and keep it brief, but happy to explain if needed..

I'm in my mid 20s, single mum with a 4yo. My DDs dad was abusive and doesn't see her. I graduated last year, and currently work in a startup which has given me so much experience but there is absolutely no chance of career progression or a pay rise, ever. My salary is low, but I like and respect my boss and am really grateful for him giving me a shot, especially in the unusual circumstances I was hired.

I live in a city which is almost as expensive as London, but has none of the career opportunities. It's a 2 hour commute each way.

I first properly looked for another job last weekend due to my being pissed off at not getting paid on time yet again (though I always keep an eye out for things in my area), just to see what was out there elsewhere, and found a grad job which required no experience, but pretty much all of the tasks listed are things I already do in my current job. The office seems young and fun (though I’m very aware that a single parent in a new city has little opportunity for non-child related fun and I can absolutely live with that). I applied Sunday night and Monday morning the recruiter got in touch with me, seemingly really keen.

It mostly appeals for the decent salary, the development budget for each staff member, and the scope for career progression. Also the work seems interesting and I'd be very comfortable and confident that I could exceed doing it. I’ve searched hard, and I can’t find that anywhere near where I live.

I have always loved London and my favourite days are going with DD to new, interesting places. The idea of taking her to the science museum, or the history museum or Tate modern etc for free whenever I like actually gives me butterflies

I couldn’t commute, it’d take too long and cost too much that I would be more skint than I am now. I’ve had to move my dad into my poky 2 bed to afford to live. It’s squished and I love him but he’s really messy/ unhygienic and there’s not enough room for us all. He’s cool with us moving, he'd miss DD desperately but has a friend to move in with, and just wants me to be happy and then ok for money so is hoping I get the job.

So.. I’m sure this will be controversial, but my starting salary is 30k, so about 2k take home, and if I moved I'd get an estimated additional 1k universal credit. I know that’s really generous, but I’m mainly moving for the career progression and am planning to work my arse off to make sure I contribute to society’s ‘pot’ in the long run. I’ve been at the mercy of in-work benefits and their random reductions, overpayments and suspensions for years and it’s made me literally suicidal; I dream of being without them (though am obviously appreciative to life in a country where they’re awarded). Annual promotion is typical within the company, and each staff member has a generous development/ training budget which they can spend as they wish.

So that’s 3k a month. My office will be near Shoreditch. I’m scared about finding DD a school, but apparently 2015 was a really low birth year and though the borough I’m looking at doesn’t publish primary intake data, neighbouring boroughs say they have over half of schools undersubscribed.

I’ve found some nice enough flats for £1500. Though I don't know the areas, so I'm going to commute for a month and scope out which ones are too stabby to consider.. I’m estimating my bills to be £500-600. So that leaves me £900 for food, petrol, treats, savings etc. So so much more that I have now. Does this all sound about right to any Londoners? I'm pretty streetwise, have grown up in a not nice area and am not expecting Notting Hill, but I don't want to live anywhere we are at serious danger of getting hurt obviously.

Atm, even with my dad chipping in for bills, my income is barely more than essential outgoings. With my DD sharing a room with me, and a fairly long commute with absolutely no scope for career progression.

The lady in the other thread was overwhelmingly told that she was crazy to move for 55k, a little more than my gross salary (I’m told I can expect bonuses etc but obviously my universal credit will reduce due to these). But I’m desperate to be free from benefits, and to be successful and build a great life for my DD. There was 4 of them, they already had a nice house and life up north. There's just 2 of us, and we're barely surviving.

I haven’t got it yet! But it’s all progressing very quickly and they seem very keen. That wasn’t short at all! But am I mental?

I think you've had plenty of advice financially - so if I could just throw in a few more socially-oriented points:

1. Most people at London techy startups don't stay long. They aren't often a basis for a long term career as they are full of young people wanting to progress. People tend to move around jobs in London a lot more often than in other places.

2. If you are looking to meet a new partner at some point, it will be very difficult in London. The dating scene is very hookup-app/young professionals with no responsibility. Nearly every young woman I know in London is struggling to find a partner. Not saying it's your priority at all!

3. 'Nice areas' is a relative term in London. Walthamstow, for example, has some bits which are really nice, and other bits for example where my friend lives and people are regularly shot and stabbed outside her house. Teen gang culture is getting worse in many areas.

If your sims are right, do it. You’ll have much better career prospects.

Good things: there is a glut of 2-bed flats to rent, so you could get one for £1250 in many decent areas. And the majority of primary schools are very good - there's a lot of churn as people move, so getting a space in a good school is feasible, but don't set your heart on The Only Desirable School in the area - it'll often be impossible to get in and may not be that great anyway.

Your biggest problem will be wrap-around childcare. There's often a shortage of childminders willing to do it and not enough places at school clubs, and even then with school care you are glued to 8-6 - childminders can be more flexible. If you have a 2 bed flat then you could get a summer au pair, maybe, or have your parent to stay and do childcare for a few weeks.

Look around Blackhorse Road. V easy to get to Shoreditch, loads of good school with breakfast and after school club.

I was going to say look south of Blackhorse road. That way you can get the overland from st James Street into Shoreditch or jump on Victoria Line at Blackhorse road. There is loads of green space with the wetlands. I live in Walthamstow and know lots of people who work for digital start ups so it will be easier to make friends. Good luck!

Those suggesting Wanstead, Epping, etc - the OP is only going to be earning £30k and fares are expensive. If possible, she needs to look in a zone much nearer where she is working. Walthamstow/Blackhorse Road is quite good, I think, as someone has suggested, though suggest you look at fares OP to make sure you can afford to travel from whatever area you are considering. My sister lives in Blackhorse Road area and it is next to the Walthamstow marshes/reservoirs - lots of lovely nature, good walks, nice cafes. Also, easy ride to Epping Forest (chingford) at weekends if you want some greenery. Good transport links so if there is a transport difficulty on one line, you can maybe use an alternative or bus that day.

Shoreditch is really not a place to bring up a child. Dirty, smoggy and hipstery. Try somewhere a bit further east with some big green spaces and more community - Leytonstone, Wanstead etc.

I think with a young child I would be looking at Islington/hackney borders, but something tiny, maybe a studio or 1 bed. I think that without family support etc you want school and home to be as near to work as possible, and both Islington and Hackney have some excellent schools. Agree that the move would be great for you. Sounds like a brilliant opportunity, and I love being a parent in London! Can I ask does your child have any additional needs? If so, Islington is better than Hackney for Sen provision.

I'd suggest you live as close to work as feasible. A commute at the mercy of public transport problems when you absolutely must get back for a fixed time for pick up is highly stressful.

I would suggest location close to work should take priority.
Look at ex council rentals close to Shoreditch where you can walk or cycle back.
You would get a proper 1 bedroom decent size flat for less than 1500pcm and there are a handful of 2 beds on at that price

Hackney primary schools are very good in general. Tower Hamlets more mixed but definitely has some excellent schools too.

Loads of good parks, activities, clubs etc in the area for kids.

Council estates much more diverse than you might imagine here - 1/3 of my block is privately owned or rented.

I would really strongly suggest avoiding long commutes on a train if you are a single parent with no local support to do pick up when something goes wrong. Stay in walking distance, make life much less fraught

@MissB83

How the heck are you entitled to £1000 in UC? I just moved from London earning £47k part time salary and I was entitled to nothing...

are too seriously wondering why?

The OP will earn 63% of what you earn.
The OP will be working full time and have full time childcare costs
You work part time and will have less childcare costs

It’s not brain science why she is entitled and you are not

1) Most people at London techy startups don't stay long. They aren't often a basis for a long term career as they are full of young people wanting to progress. People tend to move around jobs in London a lot more often than in other places.

The recruiter told me that the employer is very aware of this, so there's a big development budget you can spend as you wish because if you want to go into research, project management etc they'd rather keep you and have you growing into your preferred kind of role there, as I understand it. The Glassdoor reviews mostly back this up.
*
2) If you are looking to meet a new partner at some point, it will be very difficult in London. The dating scene is very hookup-app/young professionals with no responsibility. Nearly every young woman I know in London is struggling to find a partner. Not saying it's your priority at all!*

Yep, completely get that. I'm not sure how the logistics of dating would work anyway. I haven't dated since I left my abusive exP a couple of years back and it's not a big priority for me. If it miraculously happens, great. If not, I'll be embarking on this fab adventure and growing my career and stuff so will be fulfilled in lots of other ways (hopefully)!

3) 'Nice areas' is a relative term in London. Walthamstow, for example, has some bits which are really nice, and other bits for example where my friend lives and people are regularly shot and stabbed outside her house. Teen gang culture is getting worse in many areas.

Absolutely understand that. Somebody told me today that Peckham and hackney are actually up and coming and fine to live in if you're in the right 'part'. Don't know what you guys make of that? If it was just me, I wouldn't be as bothered - like I said, I'm pretty streetwise and grew up in a pretty dodgy area myself. It's just my DD. So that's why I'll definitely commute for a month or so (£600 it's going to cost me! Couldn't believe it) to scope out areas.

I'm also a single parent of one - I live and work in London and although my salary is higher (I'm older) I only work 3 days, so it comes to about the same. I love it here and have no problems except morning and evening is tight with the timing, as I work South of the river.

I live in Walthamstow, and you can rent a lovely 2 bed flat here for £1,500 (or less in fact). The primary schools are good, but the secondary options for boys are poor - however that's a long way off.

Personally I'd say it's totally doable BUT.. Think hard about moving away from grandparents etc. I really miss that back-up.

Oh btw I live in the stabby bit, so fair to say my standards may not be super high!

* are too seriously wondering why?

The OP will earn 63% of what you earn.
The OP will be working full time and have full time childcare costs
You work part time and will have less childcare costs

It’s not brain science why she is entitled and you are not*

Yeah, these questions are confusing me a bit too! Don't know if they're completely genuine? It is generous but I've worked hard, I'm sure I'll be a higher rate tax payer one day and pay in what I'm receiving - and I'm glad we live in a (somewhat) meritocratic society where these kinds of opportunities are possible for single parents from a shit upbringing if they have the ability and are willing to work hard enough.

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/property-81284594.html

Look at this studio in St John’s Street. I know it’s small but on budget, perfect location - plus garden! AFAIK Hugh Middleton school nearby was just rated as outstanding.

I would like to recommend peckham you can get the overground loop train and 2 bed flats are around your price. Lovely parks and good schools. The area is full of young families and is incredibly safe.
I have raised two children here on my own for 19 years!! Transport is excellent.
Come check the vibe you will love it.

I just put in £25,000 salary, 1 child, single parent and entitled to quoted me £80 a month plus child benefit. I’m not sure £1000 is correct op

You can just do direct entry for civil service, the graduate scheme is massively competitive. Just look on civil service jobs site and apply for specific roles.

Slightly off topic but a word of warning about the expectation to work 9-5, I've worked local authority and civil service for 15 years and for the wage you are looking for (HEO/SEO grade) it's unlikely you will work just your contracted hours each day due to the pace of work and likelihood of sudden, urgent priorities.

Flexible working benefits are amazing (flexi so days you will finish early and take back hours accrued, special leave etc.) and there is the option to work from home in some roles which helps offset this. Cultures vary by department and team so don't let that put you off, but factor longer hours into your childcare arrangements and costs, whatever job you apply for.

@IheartNiles

Childcare
The giv will pay 85% of the OP’s childcare costs

London is expensive... and don't forget the £1000+ council tax every year

This post was edited at OP's request

I live in London. Yes, you can do this and it sounds like you want to give it a go. I’d look at one bed flats to begin with, even a decent sized studio. You and your child will be fine.

Sorry, afterthought- you can look at doing a houseshare with another single parent - I know people who have done this.

look at the crime rates
www.police.uk/metropolitan/E05009374/crime/

plus the local school has 60% of pupils eligible for free school meals, thats massive.

 are too seriously wondering why?

The OP will earn 63% of what you earn.
The OP will be working full time and have full time childcare costs
You work part time and will have less childcare costs

It’s not brain science why she is entitled and you are not

Well, not really. I understood it was done on take home pay and I think hers is about £600 less a month than mine, so not much difference. I work 4 days a week and my child is 1 so much more expensive childcare.
I do think that something has gone wrong in the calculations though, I don't think you would get £1000 of UC if you take home £2000?

FWIW if you haven't lived in London before then you might find day to day living more expensive than you think, so do overestimate what you need. I seemed to get through a lot more money when I was there.