Another AIBU to move to London thread..

[aIways]

I read the last similar thread with interest, but my situation differs in several ways, so I'd be so grateful for advice. I always write posts that are much too long so I'll try and keep it brief, but happy to explain if needed..

I'm in my mid 20s, single mum with a 4yo. My DDs dad was abusive and doesn't see her. I graduated last year, and currently work in a startup which has given me so much experience but there is absolutely no chance of career progression or a pay rise, ever. My salary is low, but I like and respect my boss and am really grateful for him giving me a shot, especially in the unusual circumstances I was hired.

I live in a city which is almost as expensive as London, but has none of the career opportunities. It's a 2 hour commute each way.

I first properly looked for another job last weekend due to my being pissed off at not getting paid on time yet again (though I always keep an eye out for things in my area), just to see what was out there elsewhere, and found a grad job which required no experience, but pretty much all of the tasks listed are things I already do in my current job. The office seems young and fun (though I’m very aware that a single parent in a new city has little opportunity for non-child related fun and I can absolutely live with that). I applied Sunday night and Monday morning the recruiter got in touch with me, seemingly really keen.

It mostly appeals for the decent salary, the development budget for each staff member, and the scope for career progression. Also the work seems interesting and I'd be very comfortable and confident that I could exceed doing it. I’ve searched hard, and I can’t find that anywhere near where I live.

I have always loved London and my favourite days are going with DD to new, interesting places. The idea of taking her to the science museum, or the history museum or Tate modern etc for free whenever I like actually gives me butterflies

I couldn’t commute, it’d take too long and cost too much that I would be more skint than I am now. I’ve had to move my dad into my poky 2 bed to afford to live. It’s squished and I love him but he’s really messy/ unhygienic and there’s not enough room for us all. He’s cool with us moving, he'd miss DD desperately but has a friend to move in with, and just wants me to be happy and then ok for money so is hoping I get the job.

So.. I’m sure this will be controversial, but my starting salary is 30k, so about 2k take home, and if I moved I'd get an estimated additional 1k universal credit. I know that’s really generous, but I’m mainly moving for the career progression and am planning to work my arse off to make sure I contribute to society’s ‘pot’ in the long run. I’ve been at the mercy of in-work benefits and their random reductions, overpayments and suspensions for years and it’s made me literally suicidal; I dream of being without them (though am obviously appreciative to life in a country where they’re awarded). Annual promotion is typical within the company, and each staff member has a generous development/ training budget which they can spend as they wish.

So that’s 3k a month. My office will be near Shoreditch. I’m scared about finding DD a school, but apparently 2015 was a really low birth year and though the borough I’m looking at doesn’t publish primary intake data, neighbouring boroughs say they have over half of schools undersubscribed.

I’ve found some nice enough flats for £1500. Though I don't know the areas, so I'm going to commute for a month and scope out which ones are too stabby to consider.. I’m estimating my bills to be £500-600. So that leaves me £900 for food, petrol, treats, savings etc. So so much more that I have now. Does this all sound about right to any Londoners? I'm pretty streetwise, have grown up in a not nice area and am not expecting Notting Hill, but I don't want to live anywhere we are at serious danger of getting hurt obviously.

Atm, even with my dad chipping in for bills, my income is barely more than essential outgoings. With my DD sharing a room with me, and a fairly long commute with absolutely no scope for career progression.

The lady in the other thread was overwhelmingly told that she was crazy to move for 55k, a little more than my gross salary (I’m told I can expect bonuses etc but obviously my universal credit will reduce due to these). But I’m desperate to be free from benefits, and to be successful and build a great life for my DD. There was 4 of them, they already had a nice house and life up north. There's just 2 of us, and we're barely surviving.

I haven’t got it yet! But it’s all progressing very quickly and they seem very keen. That wasn’t short at all! But am I mental?

Sorry £10 an hour!

I lived quite well on £30k in London, I lived in East London, so to get to work on Canary Wharf was 25mins & £16 a week. But that was 6years ago when my rent was £850.Since then rents have gone thru the roof. A 1bed in East or North London is £1300 ish now. Have a look on some property sites before you decide.

I live near Walthamstow it a bit rough and ready in parts, other parts are really lovely. There are lots of fantastic schools and so much to do with the kids. I think it’s a great place to live with little ones.
My husband works near shoreditch he gets the overground train to Liverpool Street and walks to work (about 10 minutes walk) his whole journey takes about 45 minutes door to door.
Hope you manage to sort something out, sounds like a fabulous opportunity for you and your child.

Totally do it, brilliant opportunity. Most schools have after school clubs.

Have a look at Epping, and maybe childminders.

3k a month is like getting paid 49k so not that much different to the other thread. Do you get UC now?

Nope, I get TC. Entitledto reckons I'd get more with UC and it sounds like there are much fewer fuck ups, but I'm scared to switch due to the long wait for the first payment. A lot of grad jobs I have seen have offered a bonus or an interest free loan once you first start. This doesn't, but the salary scale is 28-32k. So I'm tempted to ask if it is an option, but don't know if that's too cheeky. The recruiter seems almost unbelievably keen on me, but my university isn't particularly high in the league tables, so there's that. But I think I'm a good candidate (gotta back yourself ). If I don't get this one, I reckon I'll get another one soon.

I do have almost 2k to get back from the deposit where I live. I've seen some properties where you just pay a weeks rent in place of a deposit. This would really help. My mum/ dad would loan me a few hundred if needed, but probably not too much more. I'm going to try and save every single penny I can - absolutely no frivolous spending over the summer!

You could go further out on the central line to find somewhere cheaper, some bits of Essex are v nice and v affordable

Personally I don’t see that you have anything to lose, and potentially a huge amount to gain. I think you should go for it. Work out the financials, if you can manage to put away a bit each month, however small, you’ll have a little bit to fall back on if you get a lean month. There’s tonnes of free stuff to do with kids here. I personally don’t find things like food and utilities etc to be any more expensive than anywhere else. You will always get the people on MN who say you can’t live in London on less than 100k but it’s bollocks quite frankly!

Second the idea that it would be good if your parents could help for some of the holidays.

You will probably need to spend two weeks of annual leave each year on inset days days when your child is ill and parents evenings / nativity plays.

That isn't unique to London though.

They say being a Londoner is a state of mind and you sound like one to me! Well done on all you have achieved in the last 4 years, not easy at all! You sound hard working and committed, I think you’ll nail it!
London is a wonderful place to grow up, so much culture, free exhibitions and kids theatre and lovely parks.
There is a real sense of community on many areas, we all help eachother out.
No matter where you are in london you can escape to greenery in half an hour and life is pretty convenient. And diverse.

I’m not sure how universal credit works but I assume it reduces as your salary increases so your disposable income may not change for some while.

I think you lose 63p for every pound you earn (something like that) and similar grad schemes seem to be around 5k extra a year for a few years (hopefully this is similar), so that's about £155 a month extra each year. Nothing to get terribly excited about of course, but it would make a big difference to us - we're really in a terrible place money wise ATM. There are lots of bonuses too apparently. Plus they have a big budget and place a lot of emphasis on training and development so I reckon it could lead to bigger things, there or elsewhere.

Also, I fucking hate being on benefits and knowing that my money can be stopped at a whim, due to the most nonsensical calculations. I'd work 10 times harder and longer for exactly the same money if it means I wouldn't need to be at the mercy of the government. I've been through some awful experiences due to their cock ups over the past few years, even though I've worked my arse off throughout and done nothing wrong. I'm desperate to be free from their incompetency.

I’m afraid I don’t know much about renting anymore but you can try & negotiate a higher salary once you have a job offer.

Out of interest have you considered other cities? Depending upon the sector the salaries are often comparable particularly once you factor in the reduced cost of living. I don’t want to sound negative & you’re young & clearly have a bright future but I think young people should avoid London. I say this as a born & bred Londoner who loves it buts it’s just so expensive for people who didn’t get on the ladder yrs ago, have lots of equity, social housing etc. & even with a good salary I’m not sure it’s worth it.

*But if you need to get to work for 9am surely you will need breakfast club from 8am?

I would always tend to allow an hour for a London commute as transport can be unreliable.*

See, this is what I need to scope out. But schools generally start at 8.15, right? It obviously depends where DDs school is. But I'm looking at flats like the following, which says it takes 34 mins door to door. Do I really need to allow an hour?

My primary doesn’t allow drop off before 8.50 otherwise it’s breakfast club.

Commuting always takes longer ime because of the sheer volume of people commuting at the same time & a 5 min delay can easily turn into a 15min one.

On a side note, I actually hate living in London with my kids and never visit the free museums beciase they are always ridiculously busy. I can’t wait to get out of the city for days out with the kids.

Oh I'm also really excited about all the lovely parks. We've been looking at Princess Diana's playground in Hyde Park (I think? With the ship) which looks fab. And just wandering along the Thames on a summers evening. I'm sure I'm romanticising it. But I'm from a big city, everything's already crammed (though I'm aware nothing like London I'm sure), can't say I'm buzzing for us to be tied to school holiday days out here or anywhere.

My DD hates change so I've been kind of chatting with her about the possibility of it one vague day in the future. She's most excited about the world's biggest Ferris wheel

They say being a Londoner is a state of mind and you sound like one to me! Well done on all you have achieved in the last 4 years, not easy at all! You sound hard working and committed, I think you’ll nail it!

Eek 😬 thank you!

In my area CM are generally £5-6/h. Do you cycle? That would make your commute a breeze.

Out of interest have you considered other cities? Depending upon the sector the salaries are often comparable particularly once you factor in the reduced cost of living. I don’t want to sound negative & you’re young & clearly have a bright future but I think young people should avoid London. I say this as a born & bred Londoner who loves it buts it’s just so expensive for people who didn’t get on the ladder yrs ago, have lots of equity, social housing etc. & even with a good salary I’m not sure it’s worth it.

I live in a fairly big city. I don't know if I'm brave enough to move up north or similar, where the career opportunities may not be as great. Plus, as others say, my mum/ dad would likely take my DD for the odd week or two throughout the year if we live in London. It's not too bad to come down on the weekend and see them, or for them to have her at relatively short notice still if needed. I don't ask them to much, maybe 4/5 times a year, but if we were very far away, all this wouldn't be so easy. I've also got great friends here. I think it would be a good idea if I had a partner, but all on my own as a young single parent, I'd be too afraid to be the other end of the country from all of my family.

According to another thread relative poverty is defined as (in 2015/6 for a family of 2 adults and 2 children) as 'only' having £1738 per month after housing costs. So if you take into account a minimum rent/mortgage of 1500 that requires around 55k so I do see where the posters who say you need 100k are coming from.

You will sadly most likely find few people working from 9 til 5.

Most likely you will want to drop at breakfast club at 8, get in for 845 on a good day or 900 if mild delays.

Then rush off at 515 which will feel earlier than everyone else. But you will be fined/lose your place if late for an After school club.

Also my kids primary starts at 855 and finishes at 1515

In my area CM are generally £5-6/h. Do you cycle? That would make your commute a breeze.

Nope. I mean, I can ride a bike (still, I presume - they say you never forget, right ). But I look at cyclists whilst I'm out driving in my city, and think they're absolutely mental. Mentally brave I mean. I think I'd be too scared. Especially as I've been to London, and drivers seem even more crazy. But good cycle routes, I think? It's a possibility. If I could stay in a cycle lane and the journey wasn't too terrible, I'd like it. Good to stay fit, and not at the mercy of public transport delays. My potential new employer is very green, and I think they offer a cycle to work scheme.

Hi, I live in a very commutable area to Shoreditch that takes 20 minutes on the Overground, but you'd have to factor in walking either end, so likely 40 minutes commute (all being well on the train). You could get a 2 bedroom flat near a decent school for under £1500 here. You would definitely need breakfast club though, schools don't let you drop off before 9am usually without paying. At my kids school you'd pay £17 a day for breakfast and afterschool club till 6.15 (which means you would have to pretty much leave at 5 on the dot in case of transport issues- so I'd be careful that you aren't joining a company which has a long hours culture - entry level jobs often come with long hours to prove yourself etc). Anyway, you'd need to budget £340 a month for that during term time. And then holiday clubs range between £25-55 a day so. Travel from zone 3 to Shoreditch is £160 a month.
So make sure the finances add up, but I love where I live, I love raising my kids in London, and there are lots of great career opportunities!

Going to have to say though that I think there are many fun things to do with kids in London for very little cash as long as you make sure you take a packed lunch.