Be honest - would you judge the girl under 20 who has 2 children?

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Honestly, what would your thoughts be at this?? Especially if the person looks under 20.

Wouldn't judge on age as they obviously made the decision the have the children. That said though doubt if they would be able to financially support them and some would probably need support input. It would be those issues I would be inclined to be judgemental on.

I might have when I was younger and a bit of a twat
Couldn’t give a shiny shite now. You do you.

Ultimately it really doesn’t matter one iota if people judge. I know I made more of myself because of my children. I didn’t really care for my own sake but I wanted them to have a good life so I strived to do better for them. Something I’ve seen in a few posts on this thread. Some of you get that motivation from your own parents. I didn’t. I was on a road to nowhere when I got pregnant. I can 100% say I would have achieved less without them because I know the path I was on back then. They took their inspiration and motivation from me and now, as adults, are both happy in what they’re doing and how their lives are going. Judgement is actually quite a good motivator! I proved all the doubters in my life wrong. Me and my DC are very happy and that is really all that matters to me.

I’d probably think ‘bloody hell they look young to have two kids’ but I wouldn’t think badly of them or that they were necessarily bad parents.

I got pregnant as I teen, and I would have been a good mum at that age. I would have sang to them, clothed them, breastfed, played with them, read to them, adored them. I would have ended up a single mum, and had to drop out of uni and move back in with my parents. I would probably have had to take on a minimum wage job to provide for my baby, which I absolutely would have done with no issues.

I didn’t want that, so I had a termination. That was the best choice for me, and a choice I do not regret at all. Not ever. But it’s a choice which isn’t right for everyone and I wouldn’t judge anyone for making a different decision to me, because I know too easily how pregnancy can happen when you least expect it.

No I wouldn't- I would wonder at her story though.

No, why would I judge? I had dd when I was 40 and wondered if I would be judged but I’ve never felt like I was.

It wouldn’t have suited me to have had 2 children so young but at 46 I am shattered with a 5 year old so I really envy (much) younger mums who have all the energy I don’t have.

I feel for them - can't be easy particularly without much money. Though i also think at least they're young enough to have the energy to stay up half the night.

Nope.

I had two by 20. It was hard and I did make some crap decisions along the way. Particularly in terms of relationships (it actually took me until I was 30 to get out of that cycle with men). But would I judge? No. I am, though, involved as a volunteer with a group that supports teen mums. And honestly, some of them are amazing. They work, they study, they support each other, and they’re great with their kids.

I had 3 at 20. My pregnancies, births & looking after them as newborns was actually much easier than the one I had at 40. I got my degree after they were all at school. I wouldn't reccomend it though, it was hard....but I wouldn't judge. I loved their childhood but studying when they were small was hard.

My sister's had her children around that age and now in their 50s are free adult children to perdue careers and interests. They missed out in travelling etc but I am now approaching 50 with 2 teenagers. So I wouldn't judge. It might make more sense in the long run

it's a complete moot point, you will never know what you would have achieved and where you would be now if you had children a bit later.

You do know there are plenty of women who have kids later and don't have great careers?
It is a middle class trajectory of build up your career and have kids later. But if you are always going to be in lower paid work, and plenty of people are, then having them when youre younger and have more energy is sensible.

I’m not sure it’s about judging individuals as bad people but understanding the impact of teenage parenting on the wider society and the long term impact on both the young mother and their families. Unfortunately it is the mother in most studies because all too often teenage fathers move on far more easily.

Those who become teenage mothers are less likely to be in work, work fewer hours, and earn a lower hourly wage than those who do not. There is no difference in the likelihood of having a partner, but the partners of teenage mothers have lower educational qualifications and labour market status than the partners of those who did not become teenage mothers. It has also been shown that teenage mothers’ families have greater needs - as determined by their family size and composition - for any given level of income.

Families of teenagers are likely to have worse educational outcomes, more likely to end up as single parents and more likely to be living in poverty. Sadly the very girls most likely to become teenage mothers tend to come from a disadvantaged background.

Evidence suggests that those girls who became pregnant as a teenager and had an abortion may be characteristically different from those who did not have an abortion. Those who have an abortion are more likely to be from a higher socioeconomic status and have greater professional career potential .

Interestingly, the results of research suggest that the impact of teenage motherhood is greater in the 18 – 20 years age group than in the less than 18 years age group. This could be due to the negative outcomes associated with teenage motherhood being temporary such that the negative impacts for the younger age group have tailed off, or that the younger group (

And being perfectly honest, I would have been a better mum at that young age. I used to work long hours with kids and had so much energy and patience. Boundless patience. Then I got older, got crabbier and way less patient.

Somebody has probably already said this but I think that's where the expression' life begins at 40' comes from

cherrypavlova And I think that is precisely because it does tend to be working class young women who raise their kids if they get pregnant at that age, rather than having an abortion like middle class young women. You would need to compare those young mums to their working class peers, not to middle class young women. If you are born into a working class family, you will on average earn less than those born into a middle class family.

In addition to increased health risks, children born to teenage mothers are more likely to experience social, emotional, and other problems. These problems may include the following:

Children born to teenage mothers are less likely to receive proper nutrition, health care, and cognitive and social stimulation. As a result, they are at risk for lower academic achievement.

Children born to teenage mothers are at increased risk for abuse and neglect.

Boys born to teenage mothers are 13 percent more likely to be incarcerated later in life.

Girls born to teenage mothers are 22 percent more likely to become teenage mothers themselves.

Teenage parenting is not something that should be encouraged but it’s been happening since time immemorial so isn’t about to stop anytime soon. It’s not appropriate to be critical after the event and we have a societal duty to maximise the chances of both the mother and children but policy has to work towards reducing the number of young mothers.

Like some previous posters, in my late teens early twenties I would have judged, probably in a negative way.
Now early 40's with a 9 and 12 yr old no certainly not, I can now see the benefits of having them younger just as much as the benefits of having them when I did. Its horses for courses, swings and round abouts.

jennymanara It’s impossible to compare because there’s no control group. It is girls coming from disadvantage predominantly and that needs addressing but we can’t just say it’s fine, they’d have been living in poverty anyway.

Er no I wouldn't judge. Because I'm not a twat.

But why can't we just say that? You are blaming teenage pregnancy for all those things without knowing if things would be any different if they had had their kids in 10 years time instead?
Without knowing that, the statistics are pretty meaningless.

It was drummed into me that having children young would ruin my life.

I wish I hadn’t listened.

I have 2 beautiful children but if I had my time again I would have had them in my teens.

Ffs some ppl are showing their class! She's an adult, her kids are fine. It's a very modern idea to have your first child late. No judgement needed.

It's a very modern idea to have your first child late.

so is women voting, having their own bank account and so on, so not sure what your point is

Joke aside, there's a difference between having children young and children when you are just a teen. It's not about younger mother vs older ones as such.

Yes it is about younger mother versus old, we are not talking about children having children, but adults.