Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What the hell with colleague

287 replies

SalemShadow · 30/05/2019 21:56

We have a colleague who is always instigating work socialising and organising nights out. Prob is she never wants to pay for anything. She never ever buys a drink. She always asks me and my colleagues to get the bogof drinks and she will get the next ones but she never does. She has blagged lunches off colleagues by forgetting her purse app and never paying back. We went out yest and my colleague said she would get the first drink but she needed to get the next ones. She never did. It was awkward as she just sat there with empty glasses. A couple of times she has been on lunch and said she needed a sandwich but forgotten her purse. We went in the sandwich shop once on her request and I'd already eaten a sandwich from home as trying to save money. She looked in her purse she only had some pound coins which she is collecting app. She then proceeded to ask me to pay for her sandwich as she can't spend her coins as collecting. She's asking me and a colleague to come on a few nights out with work in the next few months and trying to convince us to come for a break away. I don't know how to deal with her politely as she won't pay for anything! It's really starting to piss me off. Aibu?

OP posts:
Teachermaths · 30/05/2019 21:58

"xx it's your round now" and stare until she goes to the bar.

stanski · 30/05/2019 21:58

Exactly what @Teachermaths said. It's either that or you just don't go out with her again

SabineUndine · 30/05/2019 22:00

I wouldn't go out with her again and I certainly wouldn't dream of going away with her. If she persists I would say 'You never pay for anything and I can't afford to subsidise you.' I don't think that's half as rude as not paying your way.

SouthernComforts · 30/05/2019 22:01

The problem is you've let her get away with it all this time. She knows you're an easy target. Get some backbone!

In my workplace she'd have been called out the second time we went out. "Oi Sarah, it's your round." Job done.

Bookworm4 · 30/05/2019 22:02

I must try that one, 'sorry I'm collecting £10', call her out on her tight fisted rude behaviour. If she suggests a night out just ask her to remember her purse and if you go do NOT buy her a drink. Time to shame this freeloader.

TurboTeddy · 30/05/2019 22:02

Sorry OP you went to the sandwich shop, she had money but didn't want to spend it because reasons so you bought her lunch! I wish I had that much cheek. I think you need to say that you cannot afford to subsidise her and so will have to drive social invites. I think with the drinks you could have pushed your glass towards her and casually said, "your round, I'll have...... " I think the next time she forgot her purse mine would be empty.

Singlenotsingle · 30/05/2019 22:02

Just say something! You're just encouraging her if you let her get away with it.

Chickychoccyegg · 30/05/2019 22:03

you need to be really firm with her, its your round" stare at her until she goes, do not sub her at all, do not pay for any thing, if she suggests you pay for her lunch, laugh and yell her to get lost ,def dont go on a holiday with her,not even any more nights out, shes obviously getting away with it, and is pushing her luck, she sounds a total pita!

TanyaChix · 30/05/2019 22:03

State the facts. “I bought the last round so it’s now your turn.” I was in a group like this years ago at uni where one person did this and what we ended up doing to eliminate the issue once and for all was getting everyone to put a tenner or a twenty in a pint glass at the start of the night and we’d use that kitty to buy each round until it ran out.

TurboTeddy · 30/05/2019 22:03

decline not drive

BummyKnocker · 30/05/2019 22:04

I really wonder why you put up with this, what advice do you want?

a) Be nice, she is broke, carry on paying for her.
b) Just stop funding her.

You choose.

OKBobble · 30/05/2019 22:05

Buy a round and forget hers!

Will you buy my lunch? No I won't.

Easy really.

Littlechocola · 30/05/2019 22:05

I don’t understand why no one has said anything!
Stop doing it

Karigan195 · 30/05/2019 22:05

A firm isn’t it your turn?

nelsonmuntzslingshot · 30/05/2019 22:06

In the sandwich shop why didn’t you just walk out when she wouldn’t pay for her sandwich (which she had money for!)?

S1naidSucks · 30/05/2019 22:07

Why the hell are you worried about being polite? She’s a sly fucker that is having a great social life at your expense, while she hoards her money. I saved over £800 worth of coins in one years and I wouldn’t be at all surprised she has well over that!

Do you realise that you are working hours to pay for her social life? You work, say 1/2 hr to buy her a sandwich or drink, 2 hours to pay for HER meal. How many hours of your work do you want to continue doing to benefit her? If your boss told you that he/she wants you to start working an extra hour a week for free, what would you say? That’s what you’re currently doing for her.

janetforpresident · 30/05/2019 22:07

Next she mentions a night out say "sorry but i don't think people will want to as It's getting awkward that you never buy a round and people are noticing, I wouldn't organise it unless you are going to buy your share of the drinks"

ilovesooty · 30/05/2019 22:08

I'd be past dealing with her politely by now.

Dyrne · 30/05/2019 22:10

I can’t afford to buy lunch out; so I don’t - I bring it in from home. She needs to do the same if she is skint - I wouldn’t dream of making my colleagues buy anything for me.

Pinkyyy · 30/05/2019 22:14

Why the hell did you pay for a grown woman's food because she didn't want to spend her money? No wonder she's acting the way she is if you are that easily walked over. Time to start speaking up OP, don't allow yourself to be treated like an idiot.

SalemShadow · 30/05/2019 22:15

The last time someone was buying her lunch and said not to worry about paying back. I made a joke had she forgotten her purse again and she completely bit my head off! No-one else had said anything but I've noticed it's def done on purpose. She is the one always instigating nights out.

OP posts:
ChesterDrawsDoesntExist · 30/05/2019 22:16

I'm the least confrontational person you could me meet but even I would have put a stop to this by now!

This is a really REALLY easy CFer solve.
"Karen, it's your round. I'll take a half a lager, thanks" ::stare::
"Sorry Karen, I've no cash on me. I ate a sandwich from home"
"I can't afford to buy anymore Karen, I'm skint"

Listlover · 30/05/2019 22:16

Can you get my lunch/ sandwich/ drink/dinner whatever?
No, I’ve got no money and repeat.
I mean how soft are you that you would make your own lunch to save money but buy someone else’s because they ask you
Really? Why haven’t you said something

Listlover · 30/05/2019 22:17

Who cares if she bites there head off, she can have that instead of her sandwich

Clutterbugsmum · 30/05/2019 22:19

You all need to be blunt with her, as she know exactly what she is doing. And she know no one will make her pay her way.

I would be very clear with her that her behaviour is unacceptable. That she is in effect stealing from all of you. Next time she tries to organise an lunch/evening out be very clear to her that you are buying your own lunch/drink and you can afford to buy her anymore as she never returns the gesture.