To question whether it is us or our neighbours who are being unreasonable

[ThespianTendencies]

DS - 12 is a keen musician. He likes to play piano. He also likes playing on his Xbox. Three times in recent weeks the neighbours have complained about noise. First time was about 945pm and ds was playing piano in the dining room (we are semi detached). The piano is on the wall that does not back onto their dining room wall. He was playing with gusto but I could barely hear him from the lounge so not unreasonably loud imho. The neighbour texted and asked if he could stop as he had to be up at 5am. I told ds to quieten down and he stopped playing and played his guitar instead. This happened again about 2 weeks later when ds was on piano - again it was not late; 10pm, within the reasonable time to be able to play music in your own home I would have thought. Then last night, neighbour texted to ask if ds was Ok as he could hear screaming from upstairs. I said I was sure he was OK as he was on his Xbox playing Fortnight and could I hear him laughing and chatting with his friends online. Again, this was 1030pm so not ludicrously late and I don't think we should be tiptoeing around after 10pm just because our neighbour has to be up at 5am. I did go to ds and told him to quieten down of course, which he did. I totally appreciate that we must be mindful of our neighbours, we have lived side by side for nearly 9 years. I made no comments or complaints when their young baby was crying through the night or when their two girls wake every morning during weekends and holidays alike at 630am. It is family life and having had two children myself, I understand it. I have made sure that ds has quietened down every time but I am not sure that they are being very fair. If it was past 11pm or early hours of the morning then fair enough, but this seems like we are being made to shut up! Your thoughts please.

I can see it from both sides but in your shoes I would tell DS to stop playing the piano after 930pm to keep the peace

I’m sorry but I think your son is making too much noise, no one wants to listen to him playing music or video games. Tell him to be quiet

I think 10pm is pretty late for piano-playing. They're not asking you to tiptoe around, just not to play the piano / very noisy video games.

10pm is too late in my opinion.

He needs an electric piano with headphones.

Playing piano with gusto at 9.45pm is a little unneighbourly.

10 is too late surely?

I think 10pm is too late to be playing the piano. I also think there’s a difference between your son choosing to play the piano at 10pm and their young baby waking through the night.

My DS isn't allowed to play guitar/drums after 8pm without headphones. He also isn't allowed to yell or screech when playing Xbox. Basic courtesy when in a semi.

If it were you up at 5 would you be happy living next door to Eric Clapton and Elton John??

I would encourage your son's piano playing and suggest the neighbours turn the volume up on their tv.

Yabu.

I think that's too late to be frequently making sufficient noise that disturbs the neighbours.

If it were one-off or occasionally, I think I'd put it down to give and take. But this sounds more regular

They have young children and an early start for work. I can understand their complaint. And they seem to have complained politely.

I think it's antisocial to be noisy after 9 in the week but I get up early too. Guess it depends if your an up early, early to bed person or a late to bed person.

Either way, if it's upsetting them, I would try and reduce the noise. He must have hours after school in which to play music and can surely turn down his computer games a bit.

9pm is considered the cut off for unreasonable noise, why is your DS up at 10.30pm on Xbox/piano? I think YABU, your neighbor told you they have a 5am start yet allow your DS to regularly be a PITA, I don't think many parents would have their kids playing instruments at 10pm.

He stopped playing the piano and started playing the guitar after they’d complained as they had to be up in seven hours? Yeah, you’ve really pissed them off.

YABU. That is too late to be deliberately making noise. A baby is not deliberate noise but playing a piano with gusto and loudly playing a computer game is deliberate.

10pm is too late for that kind of noise imo. I would tell your DS he can’t play after 9.30, which seems a reasonable compromise.

I'd be pissed off too. YABU. Get him an electric piano with headphones for playing past 9pm.

again it was not late; 10pm,

I would class this as late, DH and I are both settling into bed at10pm, aiming to be asleep before 11 on weeknights.

Personally I’d not be happy at the 10pm piano playing. I probably wouldn’t say anything but it’d annoy me.

I used to have a next door neighbour who used to have a headset when playing his Xbox and the shouting into it pissed me off. But it was summer and both houses obviously had the windows open, so more of an issue maybe.

I do think a screaming baby isn’t really comparable to someone playing piano.

Definitely too late to be playing music instruments like a piano..
I wouldn’t be too happy if I was your neighbour either..

Some people require peace to wind down and fall into a restful sleep. Anything such as piano playing after 9.30pm is self indulgent and selfish. It can't be compared to having young babies that cry, it's not something anyone can control.
Choosing to play the piano with 'gusto' so late at night is an active choice. And you may be used to the sound, it blends into your background noise, other people won't feel that way.

Be considerate of other people because a time will come when you require the same consideration back and you won't get it.

1030pm so not ludicrously late

and again, for a 12 year old, It is late. What time do you ask him to turn it off?

I'd be pissed off with that after 10pm, especially after being told NDN is up at 5.