To question whether it is us or our neighbours who are being unreasonable

[ThespianTendencies]

DS - 12 is a keen musician. He likes to play piano. He also likes playing on his Xbox. Three times in recent weeks the neighbours have complained about noise. First time was about 945pm and ds was playing piano in the dining room (we are semi detached). The piano is on the wall that does not back onto their dining room wall. He was playing with gusto but I could barely hear him from the lounge so not unreasonably loud imho. The neighbour texted and asked if he could stop as he had to be up at 5am. I told ds to quieten down and he stopped playing and played his guitar instead. This happened again about 2 weeks later when ds was on piano - again it was not late; 10pm, within the reasonable time to be able to play music in your own home I would have thought. Then last night, neighbour texted to ask if ds was Ok as he could hear screaming from upstairs. I said I was sure he was OK as he was on his Xbox playing Fortnight and could I hear him laughing and chatting with his friends online. Again, this was 1030pm so not ludicrously late and I don't think we should be tiptoeing around after 10pm just because our neighbour has to be up at 5am. I did go to ds and told him to quieten down of course, which he did. I totally appreciate that we must be mindful of our neighbours, we have lived side by side for nearly 9 years. I made no comments or complaints when their young baby was crying through the night or when their two girls wake every morning during weekends and holidays alike at 630am. It is family life and having had two children myself, I understand it. I have made sure that ds has quietened down every time but I am not sure that they are being very fair. If it was past 11pm or early hours of the morning then fair enough, but this seems like we are being made to shut up! Your thoughts please.

10.00pm is far too late for that. Is this a reverse? I can't believe anyone would think it plausible that a piano played at that time in a semi is OK?

10pm is far, far too late to be playing piano. My NDN plays flute, she's very good, plays in some sort of semi-pro orchestra so has to practice daily. She is always finished by 9pm, and whilst I find the daily tinkering irritating, but I haven't said a word because she is so considerate with it.

I too get up at 5.30am and would be mighty annoyed if I had to listen to music practice at that time of night. Unless it was a Friday or Sat night in which case a bit later would be OK.

10pm is far too late, I'm in bed at 10pm. Listening to someone paying the piano with gusto would drive me bonkers if I was trying to unwind.

I say this as someone that lived in a terrace next to a drum player and piano teacher.

So, YABU, 8.30 would personally be my cut off

To answer your question OP, it is definitely you that is being unreasonable. Hope that helps!

I don't think there's ANY time when it's acceptable to play piano "with gusto" in a semi.

10pm is definately too late. You now know that your neighbour sometimes has to get up at 5am. Playing the piano is a choice. Young children awake at night generally isn't.

Show some consideration. 8pm should be late enough.

10pm far too late. 9pm the latest if you are good neighbours.

Yeah 10pm is too late imo

It’s only ‘not late’ in the sense that it’s not the witching hour. I am invariably going to bed by 10pm. It’s bedtime.

9.30-10 is too late to be playing piano if your neighbours can hear it. He shouldn't be on his xbox making that much noise either, although if he has a headset on I know it can be hard to judge how loud you're being. I don't think you can compare a crying baby to your son choosing to be this loud.
It's part and parcel of living so close to other people. The suggestion above of getting an electric keyboard and headphones is a good idea for him to practice on late.

Yeah too late IMO.

I play the trombone and DH the saxophone (DD plays the violin but that is pretty quiet so hardly counts) and we have a detached house but are still mindful of the near neighbours. We rarely, if ever, practice after 9pm

And who the feck is gusto? Can’t you send him home?

We live semi-detached and I stop playing the piano at 8.

I’d also be pretty pissed off if I’d text asking you to be quieter and so you switched from piano to guitar

Definitely too late. If I'm up at 5, I like to be asleep at 9. Why can't he play much earlier?

Any noise after 9pm is unacceptable. A piano being played is louder than normal music or the television and the video games can get noisy when played with friends. I would do as previous posters say and stop noise after 9pm.

YABU. 10pm is too late to be playing a piano.
Does he play well? As our neighbours daughter also played piano but was obviously learning so wasn't great and it made the noise so much worse.

Tell DS to quieten down after 9:30pm and tell your neighbour you've done so.

FWIW I don't get up until 6 - 6:30am but I would still be annoyed at the noise from your house at 10pm!

9pm at the latest.
YABU

The neighbour texted and asked if he could stop as he had to be up at 5am. I told ds to quieten down and he stopped playing and played his guitar instead.

WTF? Is this a reverse? I'd hate to be your neighbour.

I feel sorry for your neighbours.

10pm playing the piano is late as is talking/laughing with friends online at 10.30pm.

Your son is 12. What time does he go to bed? He seems to be up late for a 12 year old.

YABU.

What about s cut off time of 9pm? That's more reasonable.

YABU. It's too late to be playing a piano that you say yourself is on the shared wall. You might not have an 'obligation' to consider the fact that neighbour is up at five, but blimey - how about a bit of understanding and respect??

Finally, a crying baby is NOT the same deal whatsoever as piano playing or yelling when playing Xbox.

I get the rage if people start making noise after 8pm (bedtime for the smallest), but wouldn't actually complain until 10/11pm. We try to keep volume down from about 7pm, but there are lots of tots in the area and houses close together.

I'd hate to be your neighbour. Can't your son play the piano between the hours of 4pm and 8pm instead?

You might have underestimated the noise transference between two joined properties.... some noises travel more than others. 10pm is late for a 12 year old what ever they are doing but especially for video games and music playing. And if they are rubbish at it then it's even worse.

My next door neighbours - one of their daughters clearly listens to music in the bedroom with her headphones in BUT she sings along really loudly and is fucking dreadful - the kids are also up till really late EVERY night - not just a weekend - think 11pm or later (and there are 4 kids sharing a room who are no older than 12)

bloody hell, I would hate you as a neighbour! 1030pm is too late and too loud!
945pm playing the piano with gusto - also WAY too late, have some consideration for your neighbours. No one is saying you have to be silent, but 8pm is late enough for loud noise.

YABU

After 10 is far too late for those activities.

Music practice should be wrapped up by 8:30 IMO and yelling on fortnight at a similar time.

I feel very sorry for your neighbour!

I think 10 at night is far too late to be practising a musical instrument. I’d be annoyed if i was your neighbour.