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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To question whether it is us or our neighbours who are being unreasonable

373 replies

ThespianTendencies · 30/05/2019 13:25

DS - 12 is a keen musician. He likes to play piano. He also likes playing on his Xbox. Three times in recent weeks the neighbours have complained about noise. First time was about 945pm and ds was playing piano in the dining room (we are semi detached). The piano is on the wall that does not back onto their dining room wall. He was playing with gusto but I could barely hear him from the lounge so not unreasonably loud imho. The neighbour texted and asked if he could stop as he had to be up at 5am. I told ds to quieten down and he stopped playing and played his guitar instead. This happened again about 2 weeks later when ds was on piano - again it was not late; 10pm, within the reasonable time to be able to play music in your own home I would have thought. Then last night, neighbour texted to ask if ds was Ok as he could hear screaming from upstairs. I said I was sure he was OK as he was on his Xbox playing Fortnight and could I hear him laughing and chatting with his friends online. Again, this was 1030pm so not ludicrously late and I don't think we should be tiptoeing around after 10pm just because our neighbour has to be up at 5am. I did go to ds and told him to quieten down of course, which he did. I totally appreciate that we must be mindful of our neighbours, we have lived side by side for nearly 9 years. I made no comments or complaints when their young baby was crying through the night or when their two girls wake every morning during weekends and holidays alike at 630am. It is family life and having had two children myself, I understand it. I have made sure that ds has quietened down every time but I am not sure that they are being very fair. If it was past 11pm or early hours of the morning then fair enough, but this seems like we are being made to shut up! Your thoughts please.

OP posts:
iolaus · 30/05/2019 15:02

The other thing is kids practising music (well pretty much anyone practising) is likely to be filled with the odd wrong note, or repeating certain phrases of music over and again till they perfect them - rather than playing one song through perfectly

After a while that gets annoying whatever instrument, whatever time or whatever volume - during the day you have to put up with it, when you are trying to go to sleep it can be unbearable - I remember wanting to pull my hair out over one of my daughter's harp pieces as it reached a point where I couldn't bear to hear that one phase again (by the time she worked at it enough to get the whole tune right it was beautiful) but it that moment (when I was tired) it was as bad as an offkey recorder

NicoAndTheNiners · 30/05/2019 15:05

I think you're being massively unreasonable. I'm in bed at 10:30pm trying to sleep and would be unimpressed at piano playing or screaming.

To be honest the screaming/shouting over video games is Not needed no matter what time of day. He's old enough to control himself. You wouldn't let a toddler scream their head off in a cafe even though its a reasonable time of day because you know it's not nice for others. Why should someone have to have that sort of intrusive noise in their own home? By someone old enough to know how to behave?

crosstalk · 30/05/2019 15:07

Come back OP

imaflutteringkite · 30/05/2019 15:09

Yes YABVU. The house next door to me is for sale, you're not planning a move to the East Midlands are you?

Huggybear16 · 30/05/2019 15:09

Playing piano with gusto and screaming around 10pm?

If this isn't a reverse, you're being very unreasonable.

AlexaAmbidextra · 30/05/2019 15:09

You wouldn't let a toddler scream their head off in a cafe even though its a reasonable time of day because you know it's not nice for others.

OP probably would.

Pinotjo · 30/05/2019 15:12

YABU theres a difference between a crying baby and a young lad playing an instrument or squawking whilst gaming. My neighbour is a music student and plays and sings all evening going on past 10pm, really annoying, can't hear the TV and I'm up early so go to bed at 10pm, it's too late for you lad to get doing that

Darkstar4855 · 30/05/2019 15:12

You’re lucky you don’t live next door to us! Our neighbours were drunk and making noise past 11pm on a weeknight when my partner had to get up early so he serenaded them with heavy metal at 5am in return.

LateVictorian · 30/05/2019 15:12

It may not be late to you but to others it can be. I think 10pm is late personally and 10.30 is defiantly late! If he's 12 surely is should be in bed earlier than that?

I think your neighbours have gone about asking you the right way As well. I'm 23 and even when my friends come round the music and noise is to a minimal after 8.30 /9ish as I'm very considerate of my neighbours and there young kids! We go out with our loudness somewhere else!

ilovesocks · 30/05/2019 15:12

I'm 27 and I don't think I have ever played piano past 9pm, even in detached houses. I would feel it inconsiderate to, sounds can be amplified through fireplaces etc and if the other people are generally quiet they may notice it a lot more.

Lovelydovey · 30/05/2019 15:15

10pm would be the cut off for me - we’re all up by 5.30 for work/school etc and anything after 10pm encroaches on our sleeping time so not really fair in my opinion.

ilikemethewayiam · 30/05/2019 15:16

Sorry but that is too late to be making that level of noise! I would not be happy with that level of noise from 8 onwards. That is relaxation time for anyone who has worked hard all day. In this day and age you can get keyboards and drums with headphones so you can practice when ever you want without upsetting anyone else. You are clearly not seeing it from your neighbours POV.

Nettleskeins · 30/05/2019 15:18

piano music travels (and seems to intensify) through party walls via floor not just adjoining walls. It can travel through ceilings. It is a percussion instrument. There is a vibration. Our neighbour plays very beautifully but we still used to ask her to stop at 9, as it was keeping our children awake when they had to be up for school the next morning.

I think most loud sounds should cease at 9pm or 10pm if it is Friday or Saturday night.

We have a piano, not next to party wall, but we still ask our children not to play (they are teens now) after 9pm or we have a "mute" pedal on the piano which is sometimes handy (can hear only faintly what you are playing!)

Otherwise, there is always those electric pianos you can get with headphones and no need for anyone to hear it!

Fortnite noise is especially irritating, I'm always [screaming] at my children to turn it down, in my own house.

chuttypicks · 30/05/2019 15:18

YABU and you know you are!!

ElderMillenial · 30/05/2019 15:19

I think OP has got the message and fucked off.

Motherof3feminists · 30/05/2019 15:21

How loud do you have your tv if you can barely hear the piano in another room??? I'm glad you're not my neighbours.
Ds is in bed at 7.30 and my 12 yo by 9. She'd be fuming if someone was playing an instrument at that time and do would I. It's great he plays piano and guitar but YABVU to let him play so late. And gaming that late do that neighbours can hear? Just no.

FrancisCrawford · 30/05/2019 15:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cheesemongery · 30/05/2019 15:33

I think OP has her fingers in her ears la-la-la-ing at all the replies.

More gusto son, hammer those strings!

SecretMillionaire · 30/05/2019 15:34

YABVVU and inconsiderate. Your neighbours have a young child and yet you seem to think that it’s absolutely fine to make excessive noise. I’m bewildered that you think that your neighbours could possibly be unreasonable.

I wonder how long they have tolerated this noise before they have contacted you because the fact they have done so twice in quick succession suggests they have had enough.

SaveKevin · 30/05/2019 15:39

God I’d be murderous at 10.30pm if I had to be up in under 8 hours (and had been up for nearly 18 hours).
It’s not reasonable, the noisey stuff needs knocking on the head by 9.

Eliza9919 · 30/05/2019 15:40

Surely this is a piss take thread? No one can be that inconsiderate and entitled, and OP hasn't been back...

TheChippendenSpook · 30/05/2019 15:41

It reads as either made up nonsense or a reverse.

Soubriquet · 30/05/2019 15:41

Any time after 8pm is too late for loud things like this

Yabu

Lazypuppy · 30/05/2019 15:42

10pm is really late for noise like that

Blanca87 · 30/05/2019 15:50

Where's Thespo gone?...