Paranoid or was he with someone

[sleepisfor]

Been seeing a guy for a month and yesterday things were normal all day.
He was messaging me etc even at work.
Got to 8pm and I text him and no reply.
He wasn't on WhatsApp /Facebook etc for the rest of the night.
He finished work at 4 and went to the gym so I knew he was home.
Anyway haven't slept all night.thinking he is with another woman.
He text me at 5.30 am when he will have been getting up for the gym then he starts work at 7.30 am.
I feel sick to my stomach he is always on social media and there is no reason why he wasn't active after 8pm apart from being with another woman.
What do I do?
Ask him why he wasn't active
Why he didn't reply till 5.30 am?
Aibu ?
I don't even know

A month? Mate. In the kindest way you need to chill out. Do not text him and ask him why he didn’t reply. He replied! At 5:30 am when he woke up.

Maybe he was out? Maybe he fell asleep? Maybe he had visitors? Maybe he watched a film instead?

Are you going to assume the worst every time he isn’t online for the evening?

It’s been a month. He’s a free agent at this stage. Wait and see.

He may have been watching the Arsenal / Chelsea match?

Yes, please don’t text him about this. If it were me receiving that text a month in, I’d be taken aback by it and think uh-oh...clingy and paranoid...no thank you.

In the kindest possible way you need to calm down; there’s no reason to think he was with a girl. There are loads of reasons he might not have text and I don’t think it’d come across well to say anything to him about it.

What a sad world we live in where we are so actively watching people's social media and expected to be on their all the time.
Maybe he was living his life beyond the confines of a screen.

There*
That would have annoyed me if I didn't correct it haha

Your poor BF..... Has no idea what's coming to him.

You’re being a bit mad. If your only reason for suspicion is that he wasn’t online for a few hours, you’re leaping to enormous conclusions. Maybe he was watching a film / chatting to a friend / getting an early night / deliberately switching off from social media etc for a bit / reading something etc.

Yep he turned it off to watch the Europa League Final in peace without some women he has only known for a month keep messaging and expecting attention/replies.

It's a bit of a leap to make and sounds a bit intense for 1 month.
This sort of paranoia can destroy something before it's begun.

You sound very high needs. I would run away very fast from someone like you.

I think guy instinct is normally right. You know better than us if there's something up.

However, after a month he can really do what he wants. Have you had the exclusivity chat?

I do that, usually because I've started watching a netflix boxset

I would find being messaged all day at work by someone I’d only just started seeing the weird part.

Please do not message him about this - it’s beyond clingy and weird!!!

It’s half term this week isn’t it?

We don't talk every night but I always seem him online.
Last night after that time he wasn't on any social media at all.
He doesn't like football so he wasn't watching that.
It's odd for him not to be on anything.
Unless he did fall asleep but then who falls asleep that early.

Are you exclusive as a couple?

Your reaction is quite strong for such a short relationship, and the fact that you immediately assume he's with another woman is pretty extreme.

Also, why do you stalk his every movement online? Are you waiting for him to cheat on you or something?

Why are you checking if he’s on social media though? Why do you need to know what he was doing every evening before going to bed? Why do you feel entitled to a reply to your text within a specific time frame? Why is a reply to your text this morning not speedy enough for you? Why are you overthinking this so much?

Wow. Poor bloke. I wouldn’t say you’re remotely in the right place for a relationship.

YABU and way too intense this early into the relationship. Chill out or he'll dump you for it.

Don’t message him- other posters are right, it will make you look clingy & a little bit mad
This is why phones and social media can fuck things up, you can tie yourself in knots wondering what people are up to & why they’re not calling. Try and think of it another way, perhaps he didn’t call last night as he’s feeling more secure as your relationship progresses and didn’t feel the need to be checking in.
He contacted you at 5.30am? To me that’s not someone who doesn’t like you. I know I used to behave & think slightly like this, I’ve been cheated on & in abusive relationships & I automatically go to the worst place in my mind thinking about things like this.
Try to stay calm & not let anxiety take over.

OP, if you ask him what he was doing you will come across like a jealous, paranoid person. There’s absolutely no reason to think he has done anything wrong. He’s entitled to take a night off from social media just because he wants to.

I think you need to work on your insecurity. Have you been cheated on before?

You don't sound mature enough to have a relationship. It's been a month, are you even exclusive? Perhaps he has friends and family to see!? Ask him why he wasn't online, the guy deserves to know that you're batshit.