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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a SAHM/Housewife with children at school?

999 replies

Pinkbutton85 · 29/05/2019 08:32

I've been a SAHM for the last 6 years. My youngest will be starting school in September and I'm unsure of what to do next. Financially, I don't need to work at present. Would you still be a SAHM if you didn't 'have' to be?

OP posts:
Hollowvictory · 29/05/2019 08:33

No I prefer not to be. I like working part time and it pays for the Caribbean

fairybeagle · 29/05/2019 08:33

100% yes I would love it. If I could I definitely would. Enjoy it OP 😊

Ihatehashtags · 29/05/2019 08:34

No. I think it’s lazy and I’d be so bored.

TeaForDad · 29/05/2019 08:34

Sounds boring to me.

HolesinTheSoles · 29/05/2019 08:35

It depends what your other options are and what you career prospects are long term. I wouldn't work a mindless job for the sake of it but I would invest time in a long term career.

museumum · 29/05/2019 08:35

Yes absolutely. I love my work. I work about 30hrs/week and can do a bit less in the holidays.

megrichardson · 29/05/2019 08:35

I would worry about financial dependancy. Have you your own money, OP?

ThenOutCameTheSunshine · 29/05/2019 08:35

I'm not sure. One day you might not be financially okay and having had a huge gap in your career could make it very difficult for you to get back into work.

Also having a small job that fits can be very rewarding. I do three days a week, school hours, and I love it!

herculepoirot2 · 29/05/2019 08:36

I probably wouldn’t. I’d get bored. But I would like part time.

calpop · 29/05/2019 08:36

No, id be bored and worried about being out of the job market fir too long. You may not need the money now but older teenagers are note expensive, your husband might lose his job/leave you etc etc. Having 2 people be able to earn money seems safer to me.

edgeofheaven · 29/05/2019 08:37

I would have to volunteer or be involved in something, sitting at home all day sounds really boring. I was off work 6 months while redundant before I had DCs and it did get tedious.

Someone I know planned to be a SAHM but ended up in the gym so much that they asked her to train as an instructor! It's flexible so works around her DCs.

Thertruthisoutwhere · 29/05/2019 08:37

I totally would!

Waveysnail · 29/05/2019 08:37

Theres a few sahm at my school who children are all in school. They are actually.invaluable to the school as there the ones who tend to be active in PTA, willing to help out

continuallychargingmyphone · 29/05/2019 08:37

On an individual basis, YANBU.

On a collective basis, I think one female partner not working is problematic.

Hollowvictory · 29/05/2019 08:38

Yes it your dh karked it or ran off with the milkman you may wish you'd maintained your earnings potential. Unlikely but not impossible

SallyWD · 29/05/2019 08:39

I was for another 2 years after my youngest started school. At first I loved the freedom of having time to myself with no kids around. By the end of it I was very bored and spent too much time doing domestic chores. We could have survived financially if I didn't work but I'd had enough. I've spent 10 months as a lunchtime supervisor at a school which was fun and gave me a taste for working and earning again. I've just got a part time office job at the council, 3 short days a week (within school hours) which is perfect for me.

mrscampbellblackagain · 29/05/2019 08:39

I stopped working about 6 months ago and my children are all at school. It is fantastic! But I have my own money and a DH who works away a lot. Also very busy in evenings/weekends with DC's activities.

Works for me.

Seeline · 29/05/2019 08:39

I've been a sahm for nearly 18 years. My youngest is nearly 15. I have been doing very part time consultancy work from home for about the last 8 year's so contribute something financially. I have discovered that the DCs need just as much, if not more, support as they get older. Being at home to help organise homework, or get them to after-school hobbies and activities is great. Being at home through last year's GCSE stress really helped my eldest. You also never have to worry about children being ill, or holiday childcare. My DH had always been fully supportive of our set up and it works for us.

Parker231 · 29/05/2019 08:39

How would it work if your DH decided he would like to reduce his hours, go part time? Could you get a job to cover the reduction in his salary? What will you do about pension contributions?

Adversecamber22 · 29/05/2019 08:39

It’s being out of the job market that’s the issue not the can you afford it aspect. You are 100% reliant on your DH financially which is fine until it isn’t and no one wants to think their marriage or partnership will be the one that breaks.

mummypie17 · 29/05/2019 08:40

Personally, I wouldn't because I would be bored. However, each person is different so if you have a hobby/voluntary work then I think that's fine

sonlypuppyfat · 29/05/2019 08:40

I'm a SAHM mum, have been for 20 years, I'd much rather "work" for my family than some place where I'm not appreciated. I've never been bored once

mooncuplanding · 29/05/2019 08:42

Have you got any interests / ambitions / talents to pursue?

Most of us are slaves to the wage and don’t have the opportunity to pursue our ‘dreams’

Seems a waste to spend your life cleaning and having coffee mornings

Manclife1 · 29/05/2019 08:42

Sure, but don’t ask for 50/50 on everything should you divorce whilst claiming you “put your career in hold to bring up his kids”.

InDubiousBattle · 29/05/2019 08:43

I'm in the same position op, eldest is 5 and youngest starting reception in September. I'm going to start working again. Well, I'm volunteering two days a week and working 3. However I'll be working for myself (same as pre dc)so can be really flexible, we still won't need to use childcare. I'm in two minds over it tbh, I've absolutely loved being a SAHM and I'm very sad about it all coming to an end so to speak. I know what sort of person I am and I definitely think I would end up semi, if not completely obsessed with the state of the house and waiting for the kids to come home every day if I don't work at all.