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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP taking his DCs out for dinner

207 replies

WouldLoveAHolidayRightNow · 28/05/2019 18:43

I’m really tired so probably am BU.
DP said this morning he’d got notification from his bank that he didn’t have enough to cover DD leaving his account.
I said I could send £xxx to cover the bills (his phone bill) as he has helped me out in the past.
He’s just phoned to say he’s taking his DCs out for dinner.
Under any other circumstances I would have no problem with this & it’s not a tit for tat but I haven’t taken my DCs out in 2 years or myself for that matter. The money was for bills. Meals out are a luxury when you can actually afford them. He said ‘ you don’t need me to pick anything up do you because you’re having beans on toast’.
It takes me 2 days of hard bloody slog to earn what I sent over to him.

OP posts:
Sockworkshop · 28/05/2019 19:32

£150 a month Shock

TheAverageJuror · 28/05/2019 19:32

Fucking hell! That's more than my energy and water bills combined!

I think you are having my very first LTB.

You can do it! And after you did it, you must really concentrate on yourself and how you treat yourself. Having no money so someone else could? You are worth more than that!

Honeyroar · 28/05/2019 19:34

I hope we've not been too hard on you. I hope you bin him and spend all that extra money that you'll have when you're not bank rolling him on a fantastic night out with your children..

CuriousaboutSamphire · 28/05/2019 19:34

Keep talking to your mum. She may have seen him for what he is for quite some time.

Be prepared for that, it won't be comfortable to hear, but you can probably rely on it.

HundredMilesAnHour · 28/05/2019 19:34

his phone bill £ - £150 a month (his & 1 of his Dc)

WTF???!! Angry I'm going to sound like my mother now but have they been calling Australia?!!

I've never told anyone to LTB before.....and I won't now. Instead I'll say that you need to LTL (Leave The Leach). Please get rid OP. You sound lovely. He sounds like a user. You know you deserve way better.

Soontobe60 · 28/05/2019 19:35

How much 😱😱😱
That's a ridiculous amount. Don't pay it, tell him to get lost!

HJWT · 28/05/2019 19:35

🙄🙄🙄 LTB quick....

DragonflyInn · 28/05/2019 19:37

You sound lovely op. We all have that ‘see the light’ moment sometimes and it sounds like you just had it. Far better now than further down the track when your house has sold.

HollowTalk · 28/05/2019 19:40

Let me guess - you don't actually see his bill, do you?

AdaColeman · 28/05/2019 19:41

So you were prepared to pay the £150 phone bill for him and one of his children, you've also just funded a weekend of food for him and his children.....
Meanwhile, you can't afford a pizza for yourself and your own children....

You need to wake up and stop funding this users lifestyle.

user1465335180 · 28/05/2019 19:42

Please Op, give him the push. He's an absolute freeloader - I have a new mobile for £28 a month so how the hell he spends £150 I've no idea! LTB and let him pay for his own meals, house, bills. You seem lovely but you need to give your head a wobble

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 28/05/2019 19:42

Seriously lovely, bin him and buy yourself a vibrator. You will be so much better off without him!

Original poster
WouldLoveAHolidayRightNow · 28/05/2019 19:43

I did get a lovely gift of a box of chocolates today from one of my clients with a note ‘Thank you for the great job you do’ - currently eating said box with a glass of his whiskey (which I bought him for his birthday & I don’t even like whiskey) in the late evening sunshine.
It has been a lightbulb moment.
I feel lighter.

OP posts:
NotStayingIn · 28/05/2019 19:44

He so has his eye on your property, red flags all over the place. My word OP, I am quite flabbergasted. You would love to take your kids out for a spontaneous dinner and can’t, but you are ok paying his phone bill (£150 for 2 people, what the actual fuck?!?!?!) not knowing if he will pay you back? I’m so glad you are starting to see sense. Run a mile before he bleeds you dry.

Gruzinkerbell1 · 28/05/2019 19:45

Get rid of your cocklodger pronto. You deserve so much better.

Hope the wanker enjoyed his last supper.

Walkamileinmyshoesbeforeujudge · 28/05/2019 19:47

Ltb tonight op. Dump him.
Text him - hopefully spoil his appetite.
Greedy, entitled twat that he is.

AnneLovesGilbert · 28/05/2019 19:47

Look at your children and think of what you could have done with them and for them if you hadn’t been funding this using arsehole. Too late now but don’t keep doing it! You’ve been supporting him at their and your literal expense and it’s utter madness.

moofolk · 28/05/2019 19:48

Cocklodger! Get rid. I'm joining in with the LTBs here.

fedup21 · 28/05/2019 19:49

So, what do you intend to do about your imminent future relationship with this scrounger?

livinglavidavillanelle · 28/05/2019 19:49

Wow. I don't even really have the words. I'm so gobsmacked at cheeky fuckery of this man.
Sell your place, find somewhere by yourself. Life is too short to be treated like this.

TheInvestigator · 28/05/2019 19:51

Has he sent the money back?

AutumnCrow · 28/05/2019 19:51

I'd love to take YOU out for dinner, OP. You sound like a lot of fun and very interesting on your own terms. You really don't need Beans Man.

DarklyDreamingDexter · 28/05/2019 19:54

Who spends £150 on 2 phone contracts, even for top of the range iPhones?! His problem if he can't afford the upkeep, not yours.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 28/05/2019 19:55

I hope you get your money back and jerk your resolve! I'm behind you OP (and have a glass on me!Wine)

floraloctopus · 28/05/2019 19:56

He doesn't need a phone, it's not essential or he'd find the money to pay for it himself. What do you gain from this relationship?

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