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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP taking his DCs out for dinner

207 replies

WouldLoveAHolidayRightNow · 28/05/2019 18:43

I’m really tired so probably am BU.
DP said this morning he’d got notification from his bank that he didn’t have enough to cover DD leaving his account.
I said I could send £xxx to cover the bills (his phone bill) as he has helped me out in the past.
He’s just phoned to say he’s taking his DCs out for dinner.
Under any other circumstances I would have no problem with this & it’s not a tit for tat but I haven’t taken my DCs out in 2 years or myself for that matter. The money was for bills. Meals out are a luxury when you can actually afford them. He said ‘ you don’t need me to pick anything up do you because you’re having beans on toast’.
It takes me 2 days of hard bloody slog to earn what I sent over to him.

OP posts:
category12 · 28/05/2019 19:11

So, what are you going to do about it? He's taking the piss and rubbing your nose in it with the beans on toast remark, so tbh, you should really reconsider wtf you're doing with him.

Original poster
WouldLoveAHolidayRightNow · 28/05/2019 19:11

Thanks all.
At the weekend when his DCs were here (who I get on great with) we went to supermarket & he had ‘forgotten ‘ his wallet.

I’ve just asked him to transfer the funds back by this evening as I feel like he is taking the piss. If he needs his phone bill paying I’ll pay it directly.

OP posts:
category12 · 28/05/2019 19:12

Hold up, hold up - why are you going to pay his phone bill?

Let his direct debit bounce, let him work out some way of paying it.

What's the matter with you?

Hoppinggreen · 28/05/2019 19:12

Or not pay his phone bill at all?

Aintnon · 28/05/2019 19:13

You think he’s gonna send it back?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 28/05/2019 19:13

Ooh! WOner how he will react to that? It will give you a very clear idea of how he sees you, money etc.

EntirelyAnonymised · 28/05/2019 19:16

Don’t pay his phone bill.

Don’t buy a house with/for him.

Isatis · 28/05/2019 19:18

Did you ask him what he was using to pay for this meal out?

NotMyCircusMonkeys · 28/05/2019 19:19

How much is his phone bill that it took you 2 days to earn the money?!

Skittlesss · 28/05/2019 19:20

Do you have to give him money a lot?

Honeyroar · 28/05/2019 19:20

He sounds like he sees you as a cash cow.

AlexaAmbidextra · 28/05/2019 19:20

If he needs his phone bill paying I’ll pay it directly.

Ffs! Why?

HollowTalk · 28/05/2019 19:21

Come on, OP! Wake up and see this for what it is.

He's a cocklodger. He takes advantage of his partner financially. Please don't put up with this any longer. (But get the money back before you dump him.)

I bet he's had a lot more than this off you. I bet he's not paid his fair share all along, has he?

SolitudeAtAltitude · 28/05/2019 19:22

Wait, why even pay his phone bill? Hmm

You are being had....

He forked out a few times for you, to set the tone and to be able to throw this in your face forever... now he is on (your) gravy train, you owe him his phone bill and meals and.... his own nice little place.

Please open your eyes.

MyKingdomForBrie · 28/05/2019 19:22

Wow what an absolute blatant scrounger. Do not let him get away with not giving the money back ASAP, and then ditch him. He will drain you dry.

AnneLovesGilbert · 28/05/2019 19:22

This isn’t about him him taking his kids for dinner. It’s about him stealing from you AND YOUR OWN KIDS.

Cheeky bastard.

And don’t pay his bloody bill for him! Jesus woman, what are you thinking?! Taking money from your children to fund a man who couldn’t give a toss whether or not you can afford to even feed them.

HundredMilesAnHour · 28/05/2019 19:23

I’ve just asked him to transfer the funds back by this evening as I feel like he is taking the piss. If he needs his phone bill paying I’ll pay it directly.

He's definitely taking the piss. I wouldn't be paying his phone bill or his supermarket shopping. He's taking advantage of you. And you're very right that the house comment is a massive red flag. He must think he's landed on his feet nicely. Time to pull the rug out from underneath him.

missminagrindlay · 28/05/2019 19:24

If he needs his phone bill paying I’ll pay it directly.

Oh, seriously, FUCK THAT! He's a freeloading twat. Get fucking rid of him.

TheInvestigator · 28/05/2019 19:25

Don't pay his phone bill. He has the money to pay his bills so he can do it himself. If he chooses to pay for a meal out which is uneccessary then he can have his phone cut off.

TheInvestigator · 28/05/2019 19:25

And when he forgets his wallet, you put the shopping down and go home. He can go back with his wallet and get what he needs.

UrsulaPandress · 28/05/2019 19:27

Ah. The forgotten wallet.

TheNoodlesIncident · 28/05/2019 19:28

He sounds like a total user. You deserve better than this.

If he gets to move in with you, will he be paying rent to pay his way?

Original poster
WouldLoveAHolidayRightNow · 28/05/2019 19:30

Ok thank you - it’s actually want I needed to hear.
I won’t be paying his bill - please, please don’t hate me but my phone was actually cut off (I’m on payg now) because I couldn’t pay the bill.
He is a cock & I’ve just had a very long conversation with my mum who (& you guys) had given me the strength to stand up to him.
For a very long time I was made to feel he was doing me a favour by being with me but not any more.

To the PP asking about his phone bill £ - £150 a month (his & 1 of his Dc) - I’m a cleaner so it takes me a long time to earn that

OP posts:
bratzilla · 28/05/2019 19:30

You’ve not taken your kids out for 2 years but will pay his phone bill?

MummyParanoia101 · 28/05/2019 19:32

You’ve not taken your kids out for 2 years but will pay his phone bill?
This Hmm