Cousin copying everything i do..

[Getyaownstyle]

I’ll start by saying that I know many would say imitation is the greatest form of flattery but it’s driving me insane.

I come from a close family and live about 20 mins from my cousin and her family. Cousin in question is in her early thirties (there’s only 18 months between us). We’re not teenagers.

I had my first baby last year. She’s nearly 1. Cousin had her first (a girl 3 months ago). Every single bit of baby paraphernalia is identical to mine - pram, changing bag, nursery decor and furniture, clothes, muslins, bouncer, you name it.

We’re all going on holiday as a family next week. I went round to hers to visit and she showed me her baby’s bits and pieces - and her baby’s suitcase is near on identical to my dd’s, pretty much every outfit.

I know it sounds petty but it’s wearing me down. She babysat my daughter at our house a while ago so must have had a snoop then.

I would stay buy lots of cheap horrible stuff and start leaving it around for her to see.

While on holiday keep picking up her DC items and when asked, simply say, oh sorry it's just like mine, must of picked it up by mistake.

You are right - it sounds petty. Also, are you sure she is copying you rather than just getting stuff that she likes?

We’re all going on holiday as a family next week. I went round to hers to visit and she showed me her baby’s bits and pieces - and her baby’s suitcase is near on identical to my dd’s, pretty much every outfit.

Has she seen all your daughter’s outfits to copy them all?!

Or have you just both bought loads of outfits from the current Next catalogue?!

Nope - a real variety of places.

I’d packed her case a few weeks in advance so I could keep track of what I had so I could be prepared.

Could it be she’s quite insecure and has always looked up to you as a role model, and now with the birth of your babies it’s becoming more obvious? Maybe she doesn’t trust her own judgement, figures you “know best” and have made good decisions on things like proms based on research and so because she’s worried about not making good choices, she just copies you, and then that’s spilled in to clothes as well? I can imagine it must be incredibly annoying though!

Is it exactly identical or just things like; same make travel system, jumperoo? Decor is it themed i.e. Dumbo has now taken over Peter Rabbit but she might have admired your nursery more? Is it a certain colour scheme such as grey (still very popular).

I don't dress DS in a typical blue for boys way, some of his outfits are quite quirky. My cousin lives 300 miles away and I've seen her once in the last five years. Last week she posted a picture of her DS wearing the outfit my DS was wearing the same day, and they were separates not even bought as a set. I sent her a picture saying snap! Surely some people just have similar taste? If not maybe just take it as a compliment that she likes your style and doesn't have much creativity in that area herself.

Honestly, baby stuff at various price points is fairly standard. You’re both clearly the type to have ‘nursery furniture’ and to pack your baby a special holiday suitcase weeks before you leave, so surely it’s not much of a stretch to think that you have similar taste in baby-related equipment?

Thanks for the responses.

I know this sounds awful - really pompous - but I am quite creative with styling for her. Her nursery is nothing ‘popular’, same goes for her clothes. I buy from a lot of independent places online so the stuff is quite unique. Obviously she has lots of high street stuff too.
The nursery was the biggie for me though. It was jaw dropping when I I saw it for the first time.

Okay, but how is this really having a negative impact on you? Why do you find it such a big deal? It could be you have similar taste, people take inspiration all the time and it's not hard to have similar things as others when it comes to baby items.

Because it’s utterly infuriating. I just wish she’d afford her daughter some individuality. If this continues indefinitely, I don’t think it’s healthy.!

Sounds like you just have similar tastes. How would she know what clothes you were taking for the holiday if you packed ages ago?

If it really bothers you-say ‘ooh, that’s the same as mine’ about everything!

It doesn’t sound ‘pompous’, it sounds like someone who spends far too much time on Instagram and has confused having a baby with a shopping opportunity. Perhaps your cousin is annoying you so much because you realise how ridiculous ‘styling’ your baby is when you see someone else do it.

I know this sounds awful - really pompous - but I am quite creative with styling for her

Yes,it really does

So what? How is it hurting anyone? Why do you care?

I agree with PPs, I don't see the issue. I'm sorry, I'm not being goady, but what your cousin does with outfits/decor has no bearing on what you do, so why on Earth does it bother you?

So what if she's copying you, and tbh it wouldn't even cross my mind as how someone else dresses their child and decorates their home is absolutely none of my business.

I think you need to just put it out of your mind and focus on enjoying your time with your DD.

That is awful to say, her daughter has her individuality just as yours. Stop being petty, if you find it that "infuriating" just ask her if she wants some ideas from you as you've noticed you have similar taste. She's a new mum, let her settle in to the role and find her place just like you did. This is your cousin, I assume you like her, just be supportive and stop letting such a non-issue become an issue. And it it is something that's bothering you to this extent then say something.

As if you have never got inspiration from something! Goodness.

She wears comfortable, clean clothes which happen to look beautiful. I don’t dress her in jeans, rigid shoes etc because I don’t think they are comfortable for her. Why is it such a faux-pas on MN to take pleasure in dressing your baby well? You seem quite condescending and you know nothing of my life. For what it’s worth, I don’t post pictures of my daughter on SM.

The majority of people dress their babies in comfortable,clean clothes.

I just wish she’d afford her daughter some individuality.

This has to be the most ridiculous thing I have read on MN in ages.

Her child is a baby.

You don't want your cousin copying your 'unique' style do yo OP? Except it's not unique unless you made everything yourself. It's all commercial crap. Your cousin likes the same stuff as you. The world won't end.

Wow, missed that last response. So you want her to afford her daughter some individually, at three months old? Three month old babies can't chose clothes for themselves, so pretty much the opposite of individually

Quite. So what difference does it make if I take time picking out bits for her?

You clearly don't sound like someone who's ready to hear other opinions, so why post in AIBU because clearly the majority right now think you are being unreasonable.

No one has said there's anything wrong with dressing your baby well either, you're making your own nonsense up now.

Unless you are having clothes individually made for your dd you're not being original yourself.

Your cousin has been to the same shops as you and has spent time picking out 'bits' for her child. I think shops tend to stock & sell more than one of each item.