Cousin copying everything i do..

[Getyaownstyle]

I’ll start by saying that I know many would say imitation is the greatest form of flattery but it’s driving me insane.

I come from a close family and live about 20 mins from my cousin and her family. Cousin in question is in her early thirties (there’s only 18 months between us). We’re not teenagers.

I had my first baby last year. She’s nearly 1. Cousin had her first (a girl 3 months ago). Every single bit of baby paraphernalia is identical to mine - pram, changing bag, nursery decor and furniture, clothes, muslins, bouncer, you name it.

We’re all going on holiday as a family next week. I went round to hers to visit and she showed me her baby’s bits and pieces - and her baby’s suitcase is near on identical to my dd’s, pretty much every outfit.

I know it sounds petty but it’s wearing me down. She babysat my daughter at our house a while ago so must have had a snoop then.

Dying at the ‘styling’ comment 😂 nooooo OP!!

Seriously tho, of course it’s weird, it’s super weird, but does it really affect you? You could make a few PA comments but it’s just going to make it awkward. I’d ride it out, and hope she grows up sometime.

I’m another one who doesn’t see why you’re getting such a hard time op. I think it’s because you used the word “styled” rather than bought or got, which has made pp think you are a particular type of social-media type.

For the sneerers above, i also worked, was time poor, AND miraculously enjoyed getting my dd clothes that were unusual, comfortable and suited her. I would browse on my phone whilst watching tv in the evenings - just like practically everyone on this thread i imagine. It doesn’t make me “obsessed”, or shallow, or under some weird delusion it would continue until she was 16. I wore the same half dozen outfits on rotation due to post-partum podge, but my dd looked lovely. It would have been noticeable and creepy if someone had copied her - her clothes came from such a random selection of places it would definitely not have been coincidence.

Sympathies op, i think all you can is take some different clothes and maybe use the holiday to have the conversation with your cousin? Pp who are trying to shame you for enjoying getting things for your dd that you like are engaging in some weird crab-bucket behaviour, not sure why.

Another vote for changing the holiday clothes as a start. Take anything new back to shops to exchange. Lots of shops have ranges of Children’s wear that doesn't include 0-3, 3-6 months. Could you start looking from these ranges so she simply can't get the same, unless she's going to put her dd in massive clothes. I'd go so far as buy a different buggy even if it's off gumtree and even if it's just for the holiday. Just say you thought life would be easier if you could distinguish them more easily. You've had a hard time op but it's definitely her problem not yours. Could you say something along the lines of "I love seeing DD's personality developing and buying things for her that suit it, you'll be the same. I wonder how different they'll be as people, but they'll still have their family bond" that's a bit clumsy but you get the gist, try a softly softly approach before it's one too many things and you snap "if you wanted my dd it would've been polite to ask instead of going SWF and turning yours into a clone"

If you are getting all the clothes from a mix of places including independents, how is your cousin getting all the same clothes? I can understand how she'd be able to get the same suitcase or travel system but to travel around different shops in different towns or on different websites and pick all the same clothes - well that takes some doing. As well as indicating that perhaps your taste is not as individual as you think, if it's so possible to buy the same non high street item several miles away. Maybe charity shop shopping is the way forward as there is usually only one of something...

Yes, the OP should totally buy her baby an entirely new and improved holiday wardrobe in her signature style, and a new pushchair. And change the ‘pops of colour’ bunting in the nursery.

pram, changing bag, nursery decor and furniture, clothes, muslins, bouncer, you name it.

Copying is definitely annoying but are you sure that it’s defo the case. With regards to the above if you look at my circle & neighbours everyone either had a Bugaboo or an Uppababy. Changing bag was 1 of 2 brands. Pretty much all furniture was from John Lewis. Everyone had a Jumperoo & a bjorn bouncer, aden & anais muslims etc.

How has she managed to buy the same things as you after you have bought them as independents tend to have smaller stock levels.

I’m into scandi brands for my kids as is another mum at school. We always buy the same stuff without knowing.

Some seriously weird replies here.
OP: my cousin is copying everything down to the tiniest detail
Replies: no she isn't.

I think the OP might know better than randoms on the internet.

FWIW my DC are dressed out of Next, H&M and Asda and even then it's fairly unusual to come across other kids in the same outfits, so if someone is dressing their child the same all the time it is definitely weird and a bit creepy.

I find it strange as well, especially if she has never shown a similar taste to you in fashion, music tastes etc in the past.

I would test her discreetly to see whether she really is copying your style or coincidently just have the same taste. Possibly she just admires your taste, or is slightly insecure, so by choosing clothes similar to you,she knows she must be doing something right. Having a baby is a scary time, and by choosing these items, that’s one less stress taken out of the equation.

Got no idea what your taste is, but here’s a few ideas from to Maxx, so not from a high street store, and maybe difficult to replivpcate (if youndon’t Let on where they are from) (plus I enjoyed baby shopping).

outfit 1

outfit 2

outfit 3

outfit 4

Actually, looking back, none of the outfits are particulary unique,

If it annoys you so much why haven't you said something?

Put up, or shut up.

I agree that your only options are to say something or to put up with it.

It is weird and frustrating.
I spent a lot of time doing my nursery as well, I made decopatch letters, made hanging toys for the dresser, spent a lot of time thinking on how to make it special. If someone copied that I would be upset.
You should feel sorry for her really she has no individual ideas.
It will soon stop as the baby will grow and have her own ideas. I never wanted mine to have dolls, I detest them. I bought her a soft one the other day and she loves it so much. It is kinda cute when she’s pretending to change its nappy.

I agree with the PP that it’s the level of scrutiny that’s a bit weird and unsettling. Your cousin appears to have snooped around your personal space to deliberately copy your DD’s clothes, belongings etc and I’m not sure how anyone would think that wasn’t even just a tiny bit odd 😳

I also don’t think there’s anything wrong in wanting your DD to look nice and to wear things that are individual and reflect your preferences/tastes. Just because some people aren’t worried about this doesn’t mean you can’t be.

And posters being simply bitchy about someone who is organised and starts packing a few weeks before a holiday just comes across as jealousy.

Wow the sneering and bullying on this thread towards the OP is ridiculous. You must all feel so smug and superior!

OP yes it's very strange that she is copying you, all you can do is challenge her or it will go on forever.

What is scandi style? - My cousin is one of my best friends I would love her to copy me. Although she has much better taste than I do....if we lived locally I would definitely copy some of her ideas....quite openly. Unfortunately my daughter by about 14 months old dressed herself every day....we had 2 years of only wearing a Belle dress, a few years of leggings with everything, 1 summer dress has been worn for about 4 years continuously..... Just laugh. Accept it's happening. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Once kids have their own personalities they can express then it will stop. (My cousins daughter has only worn trousers and shorts for the last 5 years... Not my cousins choice....so even if I could have copied her....in reality I wouldn't).

@Petalflowers
Outfit 3 is cute

@getyaownstyle I totally agree, YANBU. I don’t get why you’re getting so much hate. Having had someone copy me in the past it’s infuriating.

I’d also be pissed that she went into the spare room specifically and looked in the suitcase.

I don't think you should be pilloried for feeling as you do. If it's everything the same, it's a bit sad. Sounds like your cousin is under confident and has latched on to the fact that you have a sense of style, and wants the same for her little girl as she has seen on yours.
I'm friends with my husband's ex-wife. She has bought things for her living room that are the same as I have bought for mine (furniture). I don't mind, her friendship is more important to me. Can I suggest that when you're out together you point out things that you think would be lovely for her baby? You know, "That dress would be lovely on Susie, with her colouring, I'd be looking for those pretty lemon shades" She may then start to develop her own style.

I haven't been on MN in aeons but still recognise this old pattern:

OP has a problem

Respondents basically gaslight the OP by belittling or ignoring her concerns and seek to crush her confidence by pointing out why they think she is being ridiculous/precious/oversensitive.

It's very depressing to read.

OP you've also had some kind and sensible advice. Hope you have a lovely hols.

Yanbu.

I enjoy buying my children clothes, often when I should be spending my time and money on something more productive. I have plenty of high street/supermarket clothes for them and I find it’s pretty rare I see someone with the same stuff. Same for me and my friends/sister. I have the same coats as a couple of them but chose them in another colour. One friend and I do (by coincidence) have v similar looking coats by different brands. I do remember going to a party in 2002 when my friend and I who had fallen out turned up in the same new look shirt, mine was over a dress so I took it off.

I agree with maybe swapping some of the unworn stuff as this is annoying you. I’d look for a chance to go baby clothes shopping with her, even if it’s on holiday or maybe in the airport. Find something cute and make it clear that only one of you can buy it, as you don’t want the children looking like clones.

This would annoy me too .However if you have always been close it may be you have similar tastes/budgets.Enjoy your holiday with her and try not to let it become an issue between you.Maybe because you have always been close ,she likes to dress her baby the same (often twins /sisters wear the same clothes),and may think "Oh Cousins baby looks lovely in that ,wont it be cute if they look the same when we are out?"You could say to her" Oh look at that. both the same what are the chances of that "light heartedly and see what her reaction is .

Snip the tags of everything as soon as you buy them.

This is the cot I have www.scandiborn.co.uk/products/sebra-juno-cot-bed-limited-wooden-edition?refSrc=10060120266&nosto=categorypage-nosto-1

Just an example. I buy things because I like them. I don’t use fucking Instagram - how many times do I need to say this 😂😂😂😂😂

This would irritate me, but it's amazing how much fashion trends subconsciously influence what we buy. Even if you buy independent labels they tend to start mimicking each other.

That cot is unusual but it's not the first time I've seen such a thing - and she might have really liked it!

Buy second hand for a bit - harder to replicate and if she turns up with similar unusual labels you'll know it's definitely weird.

I don't consider any of TK Max outfits posted particularly unique.

That's a beautiful cot. It's definitely different - did she ask you where you bought it from?