Cousin copying everything i do..

[Getyaownstyle]

I’ll start by saying that I know many would say imitation is the greatest form of flattery but it’s driving me insane.

I come from a close family and live about 20 mins from my cousin and her family. Cousin in question is in her early thirties (there’s only 18 months between us). We’re not teenagers.

I had my first baby last year. She’s nearly 1. Cousin had her first (a girl 3 months ago). Every single bit of baby paraphernalia is identical to mine - pram, changing bag, nursery decor and furniture, clothes, muslins, bouncer, you name it.

We’re all going on holiday as a family next week. I went round to hers to visit and she showed me her baby’s bits and pieces - and her baby’s suitcase is near on identical to my dd’s, pretty much every outfit.

I know it sounds petty but it’s wearing me down. She babysat my daughter at our house a while ago so must have had a snoop then.

Here you go, Cosmopolitan magazine has an advice page on this very topic...

www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a19056576/friends-copying-me/

Mumsnet is such a weird place. Other posters who were complaining about being copied were met with sympathy but everyone is being so hard on you. I don't think you're being at all unreasonable. I'd be livid too and I'd speak to her about it

First world problem!

@whatareyoutalkingabout You'd be livid about what? There's not really that much variation in the children's clothing/accessories market unless OP is dressing her 1yr old in a goth/avant-garde/steampunk genre. OP also said she does utilise high street brands. She can't really kick off if her cousin bought her daughter the same t-shirt from Asda.

I get it, OP, I’ve experienced similar and it is extremely tiresome.

YANBU.

I don't understand people who copy. They are incredibly annoying.

Speaking from experience of a copyer and her daughter, the child of this cousin will be unhappy, and an insecure teenager.

But don't ever discuss the copying with your own child as she grows, if it continues.

She obviously likes your style, could you give her some clothes your baby has outgrown so that your daughter has moved on to new ones and wearing different clothes?
I remember almost falling out with my husband when my son was about a year and a half about him going out and buying stuff for our son that none of it fit him and it wasnt to my taste. I was furious. He put him in odd socks one day and I was so angry at how 'disrespectful that was to our son'. But now I can look back and see how ridiculous i was being and how much it really doesnt matter what your child is wearing but when they are little and so dependent it seems like such a big deal. No one else will care that your children are dressed similarly. Please try and focus on how lovely it will be having them so close in age when they become little friends.

I seriously doubt it'll extend to insecurities as a teenager as pp stated. In fact from personal experience my battles have mostly revolved around my child thumbing their nose at the 'lovely clothes I've loving chosen', in favour of teeming wellies with an Elsa dress, or insisting that pjs two sizes small need to be worn on a nightly basis and cannot be replaced 🙄 I've yet to meet a teenager who'd allow themselves to be dressed like cousin X because their mum insisted! Don't sweat the small stuff OP just enjoy what you currently dress your child in and don't worry about what 'The Joneses' are doing.

The teen I know doesn't go along with her mother's envious copying of clothing or toys that other children have any more. If that was the extent of it there wouldn't be much of a problem.

Instead she copies other teens whose style she herself covets, and she copies behaviour too, which is the real problem. Keeping up with a certain crowd has resulted in huge problems for this child.

It's not small stuff when the crowd a teen finds attractive thinks the anorexia look is cool and she has absorbed the habit of looking outside herself for inspiration it is hard for a parent to get across the message that thinking for yourself is really, really important and looks are not all that matters.

"and when she has absorbed the habit of looking outside herself for inspiration it is hard for a parent to get across the message..."

I have never 'styled' a child in my life . I can barely style myself! However even I - a 50 something mother of 7 , working full time - with no sodding idea how Instagram (or other social media) works - can completely understand why this hacks you off OP !
It seems people are lacking basic English comprehension skills...

This cousin isn't just snapping up a couple of packs of next babygrows - and being accused of copying , she is behaving in a rather weird and creepy manner. !

The nursery is EXACTLY the same down to the furniture and decor... the clothes. Separates, individual bits .. Pram changing bag .. ALL the same - and yes whilst manufacturers provide MANY of the same items they also provide a myriad of choice - so whilst occasional coincidence is going to happen - things like a Pram that the OP would have bought long before the cousin and she obviously would have seen many many times prior to her choosing her own - seems peculiar to pick the EXACT same one plus accessories.

I do get it OP and you are getting an unnecessary amount of flack.

My suggestion is to pop out and buy a whole pile of other outfits . Don't tell ANYONE.. and whisk them out once you are in holiday. If she says anything, then it's your opportunity to speak to her and explain the copying is getting to peculiar.

@Getyaownstyle - all I can say is, make the most of this teeny tiny window when your DD will let you dress her in your preferred clothing, rather than hers!

My DD simply won't wear clothes she doesn't like. Kind of similar to me, in all honesty - I'd never wear clothes I didn't actually really like myself, so I'm not going to force her to wear my chosen outfits, however much I think my taste is superior!

She's her own person.

I have a whole bunch of friends who have similar age baby’s to mine. One of whom has the same style as me. Quite often we meet up and I see what her baby’s wearing and go ‘oh we own that’ - but never would I assume she’s bought it because I own it The thing with baby’s is a lot of things everyone does have if you’re of a similar financial background and enjoy a similar style - the silver cross pram, the nursery set (lets be honest, they either come in white or wooden, not a huge choice), a certain style of clothes...

Has anyone on this thread ever walked into a friend's baby's nursery and found it EXACTLY the same as theirs? Every piece of furniture, they bit of decor? How many other mothers do you pass in the street who have exactly the same buggy with a baby dressed in exactly the same clothes, in it?

This thread is odd. The cousin is stalking the OP and the majority of you think it's the OP being weird.

They= every

I would find this strange. One or two bits the same wouldn't but if it's near enough everything then that's a different story.

Do you have any photos of the outfits that your dad wears OP?

I would do as Pp have said and replace your holiday clothes.

Yes, but is it really 'identical', or just very similar because they've both bought from the same retailers and followed the same trends? Unless OP states 'I painted my nursery fluorescent green with purple spots, and dress my child in gowns woven from lama wool by Tibetan monk's'. Then the chances are they'll be pretty alike. Fashions follow trends (as much as some people think they dont). Unless OP spends everyday with her cousin and all their extended family commenting on their kids 'twinning' then it's probably not as matchy match as much as she thinks. OP may believe her choices are 'unique styling' but unless it's couture vs Baby Boden then someone else will own it.

HUZZAH
The OP says:
Every single bit of baby paraphernalia is identical to mine - pram, changing bag, nursery decor and furniture, clothes, muslins, bouncer, you name it.

....
I didnt see the point in mentioning it but she also does this with other things - my house, hairstyles, lots of things. I can let these things go but this is too much now.

.........
Her nursery is nothing ‘popular’, same goes for her clothes. I buy from a lot of independent places online so the stuff is quite unique. Obviously she has lots of high street stuff too.
The nursery was the biggie for me though. It was jaw dropping when I I saw it for the first time.

So from what I can see it's not as if this woman likes pink for her DD and went out to Asda and bought clothes in their girl range, which all happened to be pink just like the OP's, surprise, surprise, or likes Disney princesses and went out and got room decor that happened to be all Beauty and the Beast themed.

This would annoy me too.
My sister had a friend who did this, it drove my sister up the wall.
I think you should start saying ‘oh dd has that’ ‘oh just like me’ every time.
Are you going away with any other family members? They will notice it too. Very odd behaviour in my view.

@mathanxiey I completed get what you're saying but at the same time none of us have actually seen what OP or her cousin have bought or not for their Dd's so it's a bit of a moot point really. Yes, OP might come back and state her cousin has gone through her Dd's wardrobe with a fine tooth comb and armed with a notebook inspected the label/design of every piece of baby ware and clothing she owns and then ordered the exact same pieces after spending hours online researching it. Or potentially they have similar tastes, similar friendship groups of mum's the same age, and all shop online/offline at similar retailers. It's not that much a leap really.

Print out the Australian emigration paperwork and leave it out in plain sight. See what happens.....

If you've packed her clothes for holiday already, what is she wearing now? Does she have a holiday wardrobe? How odd. There's being prepared, yes, but there's taking it to a new level. I can't pack a week in advance because my dd has to wear her clothes in the lead up to holiday. It's a bit mad to buy a whole suitcase of clothes just for the holiday

I never understood this copying malarkey. Until a month ago I had to go onto my SIL's flat to turn something off while she was on holiday. And I saw that she has the same piece of art in the same room as me. This is large, made to order, very personal to me and meaningless to anyone else - probably borderline politically incorrect - literally a one in a billion. It has surprised everyone who has walked into my house. It is a peculiar choice for the room in question but makes me happy. I can't understand for the life of me why she felt she had to have the same thing in the same room.

I am slightly unnerved and await more constructive advice in amongst all the spiteful, can't-actually-be-bothered-to-read-the-thread-but-I'll-have-a-vague-go-at-the-OP-over-Instagram comments

If the copying is identical as the OP has said, then it's really creepy behaviour.

It sounds like is beyond just owning identical few clothing pieces and items (which I believe that OP would just consider a natural coincidence) to something more large scale, particularly given the nursery decor. Certainly, if the OP also has a flair for styling (which my DM has to my lighthearted envy), it's likely that she adds more original touches to otherwise popular pieces that could well highlight the act of copying.