To be depressed at being so ugly?

[Quasimodo84]

I know it’s very superficial and what kind of person you are matters more - as per Roald Dahl and his bit about how nice people are never really ugly - but it’s so depressing.
I’ve always been low in the appearance stakes but it’s defintiely worse now youth isn’t even on my side. My parents are perfectly nice normal looking people so I’m not sure how it went so wrong!
Every time I see myself I could cry. Of course appearances aren’t everything, but it’s amazing how a lot of people who say that are quite attractive and don’t realise the privileges that come with being more than averagely attractive.
I suppose it’ll only get worse as I get older too, I just need to learn to not care!

I bet you don’t look 1/8 of how you perceive yourself.

How old are you OP? Do you have a partner? Have you tried experimenting with make up and clothes, accessories etc. Do you go to the gym?

35
If I had a lot of cash to throw at it I might be a bit but sadly I don’t!
I don’t have time for the gym really. I rarely do any exercise.

Do you try very hard to be kind to the people around you in life?

Can you work on your own personal happiness and self esteem. Try to adopt a smiley friendly persona?

Smily kind people are NEVER ugly.

As PP says I doubt you are but I'm trying to shift your focus. Steer your ship with positivity.

Looks are a lottery, there are things you can do to make yourself feel better - bet you aren't ugly in the least though just lacking self confidence.

I very much doubt you are ugly. I never see anyone around who I think is ugly. I'm sure you're not.

I'm sure you are not ugly OP! And what is attractive anyway? Everybody has features which make them beautiful, a warm smile can light up a face! Forget what social media hold up as the ideal figure/face/hair etc.

I know it can be really hard but try to be kind to yourself

What are you comparing yourself to? Go out into the street and have a look around, most people aren't actually that attractive, and those that are probably have more makeup on than you realise and regular hair appointments etc to help them asking a bit.

Everyones looks go with age, at least you don't have to go through the agony of losing them!

I should probably come off social media.

I TRY and be nice but I do have a lot of sarcastic thoughts . People would describe me as nice. It’s a pretty nondescript word.
If I could afford better hair / Botox / plastic surgery / nicer clothes then yes for sure I would look better. I need more money 😂

Every cloud grey
Most of my friends still manage to look good though.

Who he decided you're ugly? Everyone is ugly to someone, but on the other hand everyone is beautiful to someone too ❤️ try not to compare yourself to others and look for something about yourself you really like, it could be that you have great teeth or a lovely hair colour, focus on your positives

Get over to the style and beauty board. Even on a budget there are things you can do to just feel more confident. Nice hair, jewelry and clothes can make a huge difference. I never really notice weight, features etc but i do notice people looking scruffy and when I let myself get that way I look horrendous.

I don’t think there any such thing as an ugly person.... yes there are people you might not be attracted to but others certainly will.

So what I’m trying to say is your not ugly, you simply can’t be. Name me three good physical features have ...and you definitely have at least 3.

Maybe teeth? Skin? Hair? Eyelashes? Brows? Legs? Boobs? Eyes? Lips?

What makes you think you're ugly?

Do you know I have never met an ugly person.
I used to be beautiful, I did some modelling and was chatted up constantly. As I’ve got older and gained weight I feel ugly but the truth is I’m no longer confident, happy, care free and I think a lot of it is attitude and how you present yourself.

It's not about Botox and plastic surgery; it's about taking care of you appearance, taking exercise to keep you fit and raise you self esteem.

loaf I’ve been told so lots of times.
I just don’t understand how other people seem to know what to do with their hair and make up. My hair is vile but I pay £60 when I go to the hairdressers and come out looking like I did when I went in. It won’t hold any hairstyle, it’s so fine. And the colour is horrible. It always looks yellow, like snap on Lego hair. Basically it’s all vile!

It's only over the last two years that I have been able to view my full face in a mirror.
Even when putting foundation on etc, I would cover most of my face and just view a small part at a time as seeing the whole thing would have proved too much.
This year I managed to have my picture taken which was a huge step forward.

All cliches true on this subject; inner beauty is what people really see. Teenage boys may not know this, but that doesn't mean much. In terms of physical attraction, people tend to marry parent lookalikes, anyhow.

Agree that there is no such thing as an ugly person. People's faces are completely different when they're walking around, interacting with people and things around them than they are staring into a camera or mirror.

And I hate the idea of looks "fading" with age. OK, so we become a bit less smooth but it's not worse, it's just different. It's not ugly, it's just older. And ageing happens to all of us, unless we die before it can happen, of course, so it's not like you or me or anyone else on this thread is the only person for it to happen to.

You don’t need to spend a fortune or invest in Botox and surgery to feel better about yourself. You only need to learn what suits you and the make the best of your features.

You don’t need to have many expensive clothes, just a few inexpensive things that suit your body can make all the difference even if you are overweight.

I can spend the day telling you why you are beautiful but it will not make a difference unless you do something to get you to realise you look better than you think. Personally, I invested in a colour and style consultation with ColourMeBeautiful, best £150 I ever spent, it seems like a lot of money but it has saved me thousands over the years, now I wear all the clothes I have and feel great the way I look even if most of my clothes and accessories come from Primark, Matalan and the charity shops.

We’re all ugly to some people and beautiful to others.

You're seriously hanging round the wrong sort of people if they're telling you that you're ugly!
Beauty just isn't about money and botox, it just isn't. Sounds like you need to work on your self esteem and surrounding yourself with nice people op.

I can assure you NOBODY will be giving your appearance even 1% of scrutiny you are. I hardly ever notice people's looks unless they are very attractive, or dressed bizarrely. But I never stop and think how ugly someone is.

Even the most naturally good looking people can look a mess with zero effort, and the "ugliest" can look great with some confidence and a bit of grooming. And of course it all depends on who we're asking - everyone has different taste! As suggested by PPs, in your shoes I'd have some sort of beauty consultation to help give you the confidence to make the best of yourself.