To be depressed at being so ugly?

[Quasimodo84]

I know it’s very superficial and what kind of person you are matters more - as per Roald Dahl and his bit about how nice people are never really ugly - but it’s so depressing.
I’ve always been low in the appearance stakes but it’s defintiely worse now youth isn’t even on my side. My parents are perfectly nice normal looking people so I’m not sure how it went so wrong!
Every time I see myself I could cry. Of course appearances aren’t everything, but it’s amazing how a lot of people who say that are quite attractive and don’t realise the privileges that come with being more than averagely attractive.
I suppose it’ll only get worse as I get older too, I just need to learn to not care!

And Quasi I was about 35 when I discovered this

pinkglitter just because some people have made those comments about you does not mean you’re ugly.
I’ve been called flat chested, gaunt looking, too skinny and many comments about sticky out ears when I was younger and I am not ugly.
In fact, I’d say I look fairly good when I make an effort!

Tea same re hair but mine is thick and dry (was greasy but middle age has put paid to that). I actually love my hair when it is styled well - in its natural state it’s horrible as has no definite look. A decent blow dry and straighten and I get endless compliments. It actually gets embarrassing when I have it cut as randomers at work go mad about it (so it must look shit normally!!).

I have read the whole thread now and am raging on behalf of the PP who’ve been called ugly. What kind of inadequate, brainless prick does this?! Absolute wastes of space, that’s who. Their approval or disapproval is worth absolutely nothing.

What kind of inadequate, brainless prick does this?!

In my case it was about half my year group at school. There are a lot of brainless inadequate pricks sadly. I like to think they've grown up since but probably some of them are still brainless inadequate pricks even now. Its all about putting others down to make yourself feel better isn't it? I'm not even ugly, just going through an awkward teen phase

Not that it would matter if I was, but I'm comfortable in my skin that makes it easier to move on from.

I’m sorry you went through that hurtful crap. 38 years ago, a boy laughed at my ‘fat calves’. I still keep them covered whenever possible. Words fucking scar.

I was scared of the makeup girls in Boots too, all gorgeous and made up while I on the other hand wear anoraks and apply Primark makeup with my fingers... But a couple of weeks ago I put my big girl pants on and went to the No7 counter admitting I needed help. The girls matched my foundation, made recommendations for a brush and a bit of highlighter, and I feel so much more confident now. I know it's not all about looks and certainly not all about makeup, but I feel more beautiful. I had a pretty drastic hair cut and colour a couple of months ago too which helped. Give the counters in Boots a try, if you don't like what they suggest, you never have to see them again

Thankfully my scars are very well faded, as I say I just hope they are more grown up now and embarrassed/ regretful about their dreadful, foul behaviour. It was horrible at the time and it affected me for years but I've moved on and consider myself lucky to have the generally good mental health to have done so.

I think what makes me so ugly mainly is that my head is like a squeezed shape - like a Sesame Street character? Really weirdly narrow at the top. Like Bert!

I can honestly say in early 50 years I haven't noticed the shape of someone's head.

Smile. You are prettier when you smile. And really no one else spends time giving a second thought on how you look. They are all too self absorbed. Life's too short. Besides who wants to spend money injecting poison (botox) into themselves. Crazy talk.

Just let it go, and focus on other things. I'm below average in the looks and it's fine. It hasn't held me back in my career. Once I've got past the interview stage. Hopeless at interviews. And whilst I dated a few frogs I married a prince to me (who may have been overlooked by image obsessed girls).

I think too many people put far too much focus on looks.

Oh fuck I’ve dyed my hair and now it’s even worse!

It's always a shock when you dye your hair I find. It will fade slightly when you wash it and you will get used to it. I always need to wear stronger make up when I dye my hair.

quasimodo84 what's happened? Is it too dark? What's your colouring and what colour is your new hair?

It’s too dark. It makes me look older and even more asymmetrical.

Agree with PP - it always feels shocking at first, like you don't recognise yourself in a passing mirror! It will fade a bit, and yes, you will need to wear stronger make up.

Quasimodo84 could you post me a pic in messages?

Get a rose lipstick and blush on the go. You can't beat dark hair with dark pink lipstick.

Its probably not as bad as you think!

Also it looks like fleabag was right - you can't change yourself by dyeing your hair....